"Hate me today.

Hate me tomorrow.

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you."

-Blue October's Hate me

Chapter 8 – Hate Me

Kagome sat on Inuyasha's bed, watching him dress for his wedding. She was out of tears, out of feelings. How could he do this to her? Why wouldn't her run away with her and let his dumb brother marry Kagura? And why did she still love him, knowing that she could never have him for her own.

He tied his formal Kimono and stood in front of her. She looked at him, her emotionless face nearing stoicism of Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha had invited her to attend, but she had refused. She couldn't bare the thought of it, let alone watch it happen. She loved him so much that devastation didn't begin to describe her feelings. He was going to marry someone else. She bit her lip, waiting for him to speak.

Inuyasha looked at the girl he loved. He hated his parents at the moment. Why were they forcing this on him? Just because Sesshoumaru was the heir, they were pickier with his mate, but Inuyasha's marriage was one for an alliance only. He felt like he was selling his soul for a treaty. He noticed Kagome was waiting for him to say something, but he had no words for her. He couldn't just run away from this, it wasn't done. His parents were the rulers of this land, and their word was law. He had to do this, there wasn't an option. He lowered his ears and sighed, turning and leaving the room.

Kagome winced when the door clicked. She couldn't believe he'd just left like that! She curled up on top of his bed, clutching his pillow and burying her face in it, inhaling his scent, as fresh tears she didn't think she had left spilled out of her eyes.

She lay there for sometime, basking in her torment, but she knew she couldn't stay in his bed any longer, for that very night he would be bringing his bride there...The thought made her feel sick as she sat up, straightening the covers and the pillows.

She turned off the lamp and left the room, shutting the door softly. She wandered down the hall aimlessly; it had been only two months since he'd told her about his marriage. He had been almost hers…for two months. It wasn't enough. It wasn't long enough.

Not paying attention she almost ran over Sango who was looking flustered. "Sango." Kagome gave a half smile, seeing her knew friend, but her face fell again seeing the fear on the girls face, "What's wrong?" Sango bit her lip, wondering if she could trust Kagome, but the girl had been nothing, but nice to her since she'd met her, and perhaps she'd understand. "I…I think I may be pregnant…"

Kagome blinked and then broke out into a smile, Inuyasha pushed to the back of her mind, "Really?" She nearly squealed. "Shh…" Sango hushed. "Have you told Miroku? He will be so happy!" Sango blushed, "Will he?" Kagome nodded, "Didn't he tell you…he's always wanted a child" Sango smiled slightly, "Yes, but…" Kagome cut her off, "Go tell him. He will be ecstatic and I know he loves you, even if he hasn't told you that." Kagome saw the doubt on the girls face and smiled sadly, "Good news should be shared, I'm happy for you, and the hoshi will be happy too."

They said their goodbyes, and Sango left to find the Monk. When the slayer was out of sight, Kagome sagged against the wall, new tears running down her face as she sobbed. She really was happy for Sango, but Kagome hurt knowing she would never have that with Inuyasha….the best she could hope for was the be a mistress on the side. Hated be his wife, hid from the public…she shuddered. She couldn't do that.

She pulled herself together, and continued walking. She wandered out of the castle and into the woods to spend some time alone, away from her pain.