Epilogue
"I should never have let her go."
"You couldn't keep her here against her will."
"Mom can't take on a child at her age. I've taken Marie from Ruth and they should-"
"Marie chose to stay. You didn't force her; you gave her a choice. Ruth needs space and you've given that to her."
"Space. An entire galaxy." Elizabeth toyed absently with the stylus for her tablet. Her shoulders sagged. "Oh, I've been so stupid. It was selfish of me to tell her."
John didn't make eye-contact, staring at his feet, kicked up on her desk. "She would have found out sooner or later. Odds are she would have branded you a liar if you'd waited years."
"I'd rather be a liar than the enemy," she murmured.
Now he did look up at her. "You're not the enemy."
"Then what am I?" Elizabeth demanded.
"...You're a parent."
Nine months, two new ZPM's and more stable and regular contact with Earth later, Elizabeth barely twitched when she heard the 'Gate spring to life. She wondered if it was possible to hide in a see-through room and whether she should be hiding in the first place. Staying put might seem unwelcoming. Lurking in the command centre might seem like a challenge. Damnit all. She pushed her chair back from the desk and headed for the door, taking slow, deliberate steps; watching where she set her feet and actually counting to distract herself each time one hit the floor again.
Nobody uttered a word to her as she crossed the command centre and made for the steps leading to the 'Gate. John bobbed his head and adopted her pace several steps behind her, trailing unobtrusively.
Marie was already in place, stepping backwards and forwards occasionally in an agitated manner. She smiled as the shield was lowered; a bright, longing expression that she managed to tone down a touch for fear that her long-awaited reunion might not take place in the coming moments.
Personnel and supplies began to spill from the 'Gate, amongst them a young girl, all lanky, angles and dark features. She wove her way through the milling crowd and around the crates in her path, her gaze fixed on one person alone.
"Ruth." There was Marie, trying to be ever so grown-up, her voice kept steady and no enthusiastic greeting. Gone was 'Ruthie' and this strange young woman before her was simply Ruth, whom she itched to embrace but was just that little bit afraid to touch.
"Marie." Ruth dropped her backpack to the ground, miscalculating its weight and sending it to the floor with a thud. The very image of the awkward teenager, she fought and lost the battle to seem aloof in a matter of moments, as she all but crushed her little sister to her. "I missed you."
"You didn't have to go," Marie quietly replied.
"I did. ...I did."
"Aunt Lizzie has new quarters for you and Doctor McKay has caught me up to your level, so we won't have to work so hard anymore and..." Marie blinked and stared for a moment. Things weren't the same anymore, the truth falling between the girls like a thick veil. Things were different now. Ruth saw the world in a way that Marie had yet to understand. Both girls had lost something dear; a sister in a sense that things would never seem quite as real ever again. But Ruth had lost an aunt and gained a mother...and yet felt like she had lost more than she ever had.
John had wandered through the crowd and started to rummage through one of the crates like a child. "Marie," he called. "New game I was telling you about. How about we let your aunt show your-" his pause was barely noticeable – not sister -, "Ruth her new quarters."
Marie nodded amicably. For all that she was still a child and still impatient to spend some time with Ruth, her months in Atlantis had started to teach her when to let go and when to 'play along'. "Alright," she said. She smiled up at her sister. "I'll catch up with you later. Teyla said she was going to make some tea for me to give you; I've been dying for you to try it all year." She headed obediently after John and was quite proud that she managed not to look back.
Though it had been Marie who had been learning to go without, make do, follow orders without backchat and run the hell for her life, it was Ruth who looked the worse for wear. Perhaps it was the shock of seeing the girl go from child to uncertain teenager, but Elizabeth could have sworn that her daughter had spent the last nine months in a prison cell and not with all her usual comforts on Earth. She had become accustomed to seeing drastic changes in both girls – the result of going months, sometimes years, without visiting them – but this was something else.
Ruth reclaimed her pack to busy herself as she greeted Elizabeth. "Hello."
"Hello, Ruth," Elizabeth responded, with false cheer. "It's good to see you."
The girl fidgeted. "You too," she said, automatically polite. Yet she continued in the observant, if forthright, fashion somewhat typical of a girl her age. "John proposed then," she stated, nodding towards the ring she had seen catch the light.
"...Not...exactly," Elizabeth replied, in a low voice. More of a promise and less of a marriage; what made an official marriage mean any more than the sentiment behind it anyway? "Let me show you your room."
Ruth nodded and followed a step behind.
Her quarters were opposite Marie's and somehow still far enough away from Elizabeth's to make the right point: Ruth was growing up now and nobody was going to force old relationships back into old patterns. Elizabeth hung back towards the front of the room as Ruth dropped her pack and headed across to the windows to examine the view.
"I don't think that'll ever get old."
"I can't say I'm bored with it yet, no." Elizabeth began to take a step forward to join her, but changed her mind and steadied herself again. "I'll let you get settled. You know where my quarters are, and John's. I suspect he and Marie are in her quarters playing that new game. You could join them, or go see Rodney – he says you don't have to start right away, by the way – or Teyla..." she trailed off, knowing she was babbling. "Anyway, my door is always open." She made to leave.
"…M-Mother?" Ruth called. 'Mom' sounded too familiar, 'Mom' had been Karrin. 'Mama' had been what she called her when she cried; what she and Marie had called her in private. 'Mommy' felt too childish, and besides…Elizabeth was none of them, not yet.
Elizabeth didn't turn, but she halted, one hand steadying her against the door. "Yes, Ruth?"
"…Thank you. For letting me come back, I mean. You didn't have to listen to me and…I didn't deserve it," the girl said, staring at the floor.
She nodded curtly, still processing that one word - mothermothermother - and swiped her hand over the sensor for the door. "I'll always listen to you. Whenever you need me." Elizabeth responded, voice unsteady and sounding quite unlike her own. "That's what…mothers do."
Fin