Damned friends, the weather is so nice they just keep on having parties, and once you mention beer and ribs to me I'm hooked... pathetic isn't it? So yeah, a rather belated chapter from moi because I was busy with RL. Hopefully the next one won't take as long to get out.

xx

xx

"You're still the same man; the same devoted godfather I remember from a decade ago aren't you?" Harry asked as he moved closer still, just close enough to reach out and touch Sirius if he needed to. "Of course you are."

"Well, yes, but that doesn't really come into this." Sirius stuttered. "That doesn't relate to any possibility of me being your… lover. It doesn't explain why you'd want me."

"I think it does. You were the first person who was willing to do anything for me, and I was willing to worship you just for that."

"But Ron and Hermione would always follow you anywhere – and they did."

"Yes, they did." Harry acknowledged. "But they were both just kids then, with no real idea of the true weight of the things we got involved with. To them death and suffering were still abstract concepts; expulsion or howlers were far more terrifying. But you had an adult perspective on what it could cost a person emotionally and physically to care about Harry Potter, you saw the risks – but you judged me worthwhile."

"Of course I did." Sirius responded hotly. "I'd made promises to James, so I had to at least try to care for you, and then…" Sirius paused awkwardly and lowered his voice. "Then I just loved you, so of course I'd do anything for you."

"And I'd do anything for you too." Harry said softly. "Hell, I went back and meddled with time, created a false veil for you to fall through so I could carry you into the future to be here with me."

Sirius was unable to decide where to look; such was the intensity of the look Harry was giving him.

"So, a good start then." Harry said cheerfully, the powerful emotion in his eyes softening a little.

"But that doesn't explain…" Sirius began.

"No. But it is a starting point." Harry declared firmly. "There is so much that I want to tell you, hell, need to tell you that I just don't know where to start. I'm so confused right now that I'm a whisker away from dragging you down into this bed and deliberately forgetting all about it because it would be easier not to address the proverbial troll on the coffee table."

Sirius wisely decided to be quiet about any witty self-deprecating troll related comments that sprang to mind.

"But I think there are things I should tell you first if we stand a chance at any real true kind of relationship." Harry continued.

Sirius sat down slowly on the bed and nodded encouragingly. This, he could do. Listening to Harry was something that years wouldn't change.

Harry sat down beside him. Not touching him, but close enough that he could feel the warmth of his nearness. Then they both stretched out their hands and locked fingers with a friendly familiarity.

Harry stared at their joined hands for a long moment. His were much rougher and darker than Sirius' own lean, pale hands.

"Quidditch hands." Sirius mumbled rubbing a thumb clumsily over Harry's knuckles.

"You didn't complain when I was running them all over you." Harry teased.

Sirius looked up uneasily, and Harry sighed and took his hand back. "I'm sorry. I'm not doing a very good job of controlling myself am I?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't mind you touching me, and I think I might even get used to the innuendo given enough time. I just don't understand… but I think there will most likely be a lot of that going around, by which time I will have recovered from my surprise and will be able to be suave about it all."

"You? Suave?" Harry mocked gently.

"Indeed. Now come along and tell me things I need to know before I decide it would have been easier and more enjoyable to simply maul you before you decide I'm actually just a scraggy old reject now."

Harry raised an eyebrow, pursed his mouth and contrived to look lecherous.

Sirius returned the look and they both cracked up laughing.

"Okay." Harry said soberly, once they had themselves under control again.

Sirius waited.

"Firstly. I love you. No qualifiers. Not because you were my godfather or my lover, but because I just do. Unconditionally."

Sirius blinked.

"I don't think I ever said it to you before everything happened, and yes, it is just three puny little words, and it doesn't describe how I feel with any justice and it isn't really enough to just tell you… but I wanted you to know that I do love you. I never want there to ever be any doubt about that."

"That was something you regretted." Sirius said slowly. "You were sorry that you didn't get a chance to let me know you felt, and that we didn't get time to say goodbye."

"Nobody could ever accuse you of being slow." Harry mumbled as he sank his face into Sirius' shoulder.

"I was just gone, suddenly not there anymore." Sirius continued out loud as he wrapped an arm around Harry and tried to come to some understanding of what it had really meant for Harry that he had essentially been dead and gone for ten years.

"Yeah, because I got grabby and hauled you into the future." Harry muttered; his face still buried against Sirius.

"Yes, because I didn't pay enough attention to what I was standing in front of and went bouncing arse over ears through a mystical killer curtain… what a stupid way to go… and didn't we already decide that life can be stupid and we're going to forget about dealing out blame?"

There was a muffled sound of agreement from his shoulder, so Sirius continued.

"I can't pretend to understand what it was like to lose me, though I do know what it is like to lose friends. I can't say I have a clue about the confusion you're feeling about me suddenly being alive again though. But if you want to bend my ear with the details you can, and I'll listen." Sirius was suddenly acutely aware of the loss of the heavy warmth that had settled against him as Harry moved away so he could meet his eyes.

"I think the memory of the pain is fading just with you being here, and actually I think because I was the one to eventually manage to rescue you – only ten years late – it isn't all as confusing to me. I mean; my feelings are a bit odd because of you being both my godfather and my lover, but I think given a little bit of time I'll adapt just fine. I think it will be everyone else who struggles to believe that you aren't gone, because they didn't end up scrabbling about behind fake veils and sneaking about trying to get out of the ministry with you stuffed under their cloak."

"You stuffed me up your cloak? Did I fit?" Sirius asked lightly.

"Invisibility cloak you great prat, with just me under my normal robes." Harry grumbled.

"Pity." Sirius teased.

Harry rolled his eyes in mock exasperation and gave Sirius a light slap on the arm.

"I know. Dunno why you put up with me."

"Because I love you, and because I've missed your idiocy a ridiculous amount." Harry said semi-seriously.

I'm here now." Sirius reminded him. "I know it doesn't make up for all the years I missed, but I'll try very hard not to do it again, so you should be stuck with me for a good long time yet."

"A good long time works perfectly well for me, I'll hold you to that." Harry said, pressing a swift kiss to Sirius' jaw. "But you'd better believe that if you die again I'm going to be really mad with you." He added deadpan.

"I'll keep that in mind." Sirius agreed gravely.

"Okay." Harry continued with a now familiar glitter of lascivious mischief in his eyes. "We discussed my issues. Now lets get to yours."

"Me?" Sirius asked in bemusement. "I don't really have anything to discuss."

"Yes you do. I'm sure I started off explaining that I'd welcome you as my lover, but somehow ended up telling you why I love you instead."

"Oh yes, but like I think I said, that doesn't really explain…" Sirius began.

Harry gave him a stern glare. "I may choose to demonstrate instead of giving explanations if you don't pipe down."

"But, it doesn't-" Sirius began again, only to have his voice effectively muffled when he was kissed with an intimacy that stole his breath.

"I'm getting there." Harry gasped as he tore his mouth away. "So stop interrupting, or you won't be able to hold me accountable for what I may do."

Sirius opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"I'd say we're still pretty good at that." Harry noted breathlessly.

Sirius nodded dumbly.

"But to continue with my argument, am I to understand that you don't want to resume being my lover, despite that fact that you love me and acknowledge that our kisses are intense simply because you think you're not as pretty as you used to be?"

Sirius hesitated, now Harry had put it like that, his reasoning did seem a bit silly. But he wasn't a man who backed down, or changed his mind easily. "I'm almost twenty years older than I was then, and Azkaban doesn't do much for a bloke." He protested.

Harry frowned. "I'd almost forgotten that it was such a long time ago for you. I'd understand if you didn't want me anymore, or if it was just a teenage fling."

Despite himself Sirius promptly rushed to disabuse Harry of any thoughts he had about Sirius not being interested in a love affair. "No. Azkaban messed things up a lot, and a fair amount of my memories never came back properly, but I do remember us together and even if it is a little bit jumbled and faded it is one of those memories that you can't really forget because it stood out, and you keep revisiting it."

Harry raised an eyebrow but let the comment slide. "You do realise that nobody stays young and pretty forever?" Harry queried. "Give me another forty years and I won't be turning any heads. But I hope that by then I'll be well settled down with the love of my life and it won't matter."

Sirius tried not to let his confusion show.

Harry sighed. "I take back what I said earlier. You are slow. Or maybe just stubborn."

Sirius glared.

"Yes Sirius. Technically you were prettier when you were seventeen. Are you happy now?"

Sirius felt his heart sink. He was anything but happy with that admission, though Harry was only telling the truth.

"But guess what Sirius. Although I enjoyed making love to you at seventeen, the man here in front of me now is the Sirius Black I love, and I'm hoping that I'll get to make love with him too. No, you don't have that seventeen-year-old prettiness anymore, but you're still you. You still attract me, I'll probably always be thinking of you as sexy, simply because to me - you are."

Sirius was still frowning.

"Okay Sirius." Harry said as he slid off the bed and knelt carefully between Sirius' slightly parted thighs.

"Which version of me do you fancy more? Which version do you love more?"

Sirius was puzzled and distracted as Harry smoothed his hands up over his calf muscles and darted along his thighs. "What kind of questions are those?"

"Come on, there must have been a better version. One you wanted more." Harry urged as his fingers crept higher and Sirius wriggled in an effort not to press himself into those questing hands.

"Well you're you – old or young." Sirius grunted without thinking.

Harry smiled with satisfaction and his hands swiftly moved up and began easing Sirius' cloak off his shoulders. "Exactly."

"I don't follow." Sirius said, forehead creasing in further puzzlement.

"Which version of me did you love best?" Harry asked as his fingers slowly teased a few buttons from their holes. "Thirteen years old and too merciful for my own good?" He leaned forwards and brushed his mouth against Sirius' so quickly he had no time to respond. "Going on sixteen and too hot-tempered for my own good?" Fingers ran through Sirius' hair and then caressed his jaw. "Or maybe you love me at twenty-five and trying very hard to seduce you? Which?"

Sirius floundered at the unfairness of the question, and then Harry's convoluted explanation clicked into place. "I just love you. I always have, but here and now is the most important thing for us."

"Now you're getting it." Harry said with satisfaction.

"I thought we'd both be getting it." Sirius said with a sly grin as he wrapped both arms around Harry and pulled his body tightly against his own.

He felt rather than heard the excited hitch in Harry's breathing and smiled.

"Will you make love with me Sirius?" Harry asked directly.

Sirius floundered for an answer; his brain didn't seem to be doing a very good job of making his mouth say the words he needed to. Instead he settled for a soul-searing kiss that gave his answer just as eloquently as any words could have done.

"I suppose now that I get to love you, and make love to you. So you get more of me now than ever before, which will hopefully go a long way towards filling the emptiness left in the years I was gone."

"You'll fill all my empty spaces?" Harry said sweetly.

Sirius squinted at him, finally starting to catch Harry out as he built up for more innuendo. "Of course. I'll do my best. I'm an old man now though so don't set your hopes too high!"

Harry chuckled delightedly. "I'll take my happiness where I find it thank you very much!"

"And you've decided on me?"

"Yes. However will you bear it?" Harry said mock-sympathetically as his hands bunched clothing awkwardly in an effort to find skin.

"I'll manage somehow." Sirius replied heroically.