Marvellous G: Hello, and welcome my fanfic. Be warned, this chapter is more of a prologue than anything else, so please don't judge the whole fic on this. Okay, please enjoy!
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Metal Gear Solid 3 : Cake Eater
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Chapter One : Feelin' the Burn!
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A plane flew silently (unless you were within a mile of it, in which case it was deafening) across the dark night sky, scattered with stars. In the plane were five people. Two were in the hangar, and three were in the cockpit. One of the men in the hangar was sitting on the bench at the side of the room, smoking a cigar and looking incredibly cool. Suddenly he turned to the other man and blurted out, his eyes bulging,
"After the end of World War II, the world was split into two - East and West. This marked the beginning of the era called the Cold War."
The other man looked round at the first.
"You know, you really should stop smoking if it makes you say junk like that."
"But the cigar's nice to me!" the first man said.
"What-ever…" the second responded, before putting his hands on his hips and turning away. Suddenly a stereotypical British voiced resounded around the cabin. Loudly.
"Shut up you two! This is not a drill! Feel the burn! LOVE THE BURN!" Yes, this was the (in)famous Major Nought. He had a habit of, well, getting into his role of Major a little.
"Now, YOU, Jack, will be HALO-jumping out of this plane in five minutes time, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
'Jack' nodded, forgetting that you can't actually hear a nod.
"I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
"Jeez, Major, I was nodding! Are you blind or something, ya' British freak…"
"DON'T YOU MUMBLE STEREOTYPICAL INSULTS TO THE BRITISH UNDER YOUR BREATH! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" The second man in the hangar turned round to look up at the speaker.
"Doesn't he ever, like, shut up?"
"No, he, 'like', doesn't…" Jack responded.
"Are you, like, mimicking me?" the second man asked. Remember this guy is, like, a man, girlfriend.
"Yes, I am, 'like', mimicking you." Jack responded quietly, sounding bored by the entire affair.
"Like, omigosh!" said the second man, before taking out a pink mobile phone decorated with sequins. He quickly punched in a number, and said,
"Trisha? This guy Jack was, like, totally rude to me! No, I don't like him… I am not blushing! How could you even see if I was? Oh- BYE!"
He put the mobile back in his pocket, and turned round to face Jack again.
"Well, do you, like, like me?" the man asked.
"Well, two things. One : the mobile phone hasn't actually been invented yet, so that's like a 'time paradox' or summat. Two : Is everybody on this plane flippin' crazy? The Major's in love with 'feeling the burn', and you're gay! What is up with the Fox Unit? Is the job requirement being a freak or something!"
The second man looked at Jack, and then turned away. He had the look of someone who was trying not to cry.
"Look, I'm sorry-" Jack started, before being cut off by the second guy.
"Just- just jump…" He looked down, and tried to concentrate on his own feet.
"Well, okay…" jack said as the hatch in the floor opened.
"Now, Jack, remember this is a great honor, and you're on a par with Alan Shepherd in the, well, 'honored' stakes. Oh, wait… I say that in Operation Snake Eater… Okay, remember what I just said and think of it in about a week from now. But for now, JUMP!"
"Gladly," Jack muttered, and hurled himself out of the plane with no safety gear, while still smoking his cigar.
"I'm so badass I can HALO-jump without a parachu- oh, dammit…"