A/N: I apologize in advance if this seems to Out of Character for Watanuki. I've only read maybe four volumes and there were not in order. So forgive me if he was horribly butchered in my attempt at First Person POV

DISCLAIMER: I in no way make any claims of ownership or of gaining any monetary value from this series. This piece was done purely for recreational purposes and no money is being made from this. XXXHolic is owned by CLAMP and many other large and powerful companies that are in no way affiliated with me.

On to the fic...

It shouldn't have caused him to stop and think about for so long. Anyone else would have came up with an answer within moments of being asked. I thought I would have an answer as well. I mean doesn't Himawari-chan make me happy? Isn't having her love me in return what I always wanted? Yet that wasn't the answer that came from me when the spirit asked.

"To not be alone. To know that there is someone waiting to help me and if not help but to watch out for me."

"You already have that though. Yet you still don't seem to be happy."

"What?"

The spirit never elaborated, she just faded away to hide like all spirits seemed to do when he showed up.

"Oi!"

"Is that all you can say! Besides your late! You were the one that started this whole walking to school thing and you weren't even considerate enough to be on time. I bet poor Himawari-chan is wondering why we haven't shown up yet."

He only put his fingers in his ears again. That didn't stop me from keeping up the tirade as we walked to school. I wasn't all that surprise when the spirits starting creeping back into my site when we parted for our different classrooms.

"You seemed happy there. When you noticed him coming up the street. Almost like you were relieved that he was there and actually showed up. I now see that you are happy when you have that feeling like you said."

The spirit faded away for good that time. She looked, not happy but, content. As if she had found out something she was supposed to. I would have gone into another rant, this one on why I was not happy to see that the jerk was alright. That I wasn't worried that something had happened on his way to my apartment. That I wasn't scared that he had finally gotten fed up with me and my loud mouth, and antics. I wasn't afraid that he might have forgotten about me or anything.

The spirit was gone so there was no use yelling at empty air that what I felt when the jerk said he didn't forget about me during the walk to the school was a warm feeling that might have been happiness. Only to be covered by annoyance when he said he wanted shrimp in tomorrow's lunch box. She didn't need to know that I felt useful when I had to make an extra one each morning despite my protests and complaints.

I wasn't performing said rant in my head for no other reason then to vent my annoyance at her words. It wasn't because I was trying to make myself believe what I was saying. If only mentally.

There was no reason. None at all in proving that I was happy when around him. Because I wasn't happy around him.

Even if I was it's not like she has any right to know. Noone for that matter needs to know if I'm happy around the jerk or grateful for the help he's given on those insane assignments she sends me on.

No one needs to know that if there was ever a reason, like going insane, that I would consider her and him the reason for why I don't feel all that lonely even in my empty apartment.

Yeah, no one needs to know because I'm happy with the way things are for now. No reason to change this yet.