Authoress' Notes: IMPORTANT: Many things have changed and you need to re-read the first three chapters. I changed a huge thing in the third, and there are smaller things in the first. PLEASE read the entire thing before going on.

Warnings: Contains YAOI. SLASH. SHONEN AI. Don't like it, don't read it. We clear? Good.

Disclaimer: If I owned KH, I wouldn't be writing this, now, would I?

Milk and Cookies

Chapter One: Struggling

"Are you still avoiding Sephiroth? You know you have to face him sometime."

"If only it were that easy, Tifa…" Cloud sighed, pushing off the wall he had just been leaning against as he was remembering his earlier conversation with Tifa. He had basically ignored the woman, pushing past her to leave his house, which he had been trying to do when she showed up on his doorstep. She always did that. And Cloud always ignored her. Heck, she wanted him to just spill out all of his emotions like some prissy little girl while she tried, and failed, to comfort him.

Like he was really going to do that.

He trudged down the cobblestone streets of Radiant Garden in search of the local bakery. Some chocolate chip cookies would soothe his nerves. Those gooey chocolate chip cookies at the bakery were to die for, literally. Cloud was almost drooling about them.

"Welcome to the finest bakery in all of-- Oh. It's you." The man behind the counter sneered, wiping his hands on the pink apron that hung delicately from his neck as he stepped around the corner of the countertop. "What do you want?"

"Cookies, Demyx. Just cookies." Cloud replied with the same sneer, taking a seat at a small table made for two. "Chocolate chip."

"I'm not your slave. Don't order me around." Demyx went back behind the counter, slipping on some plastic gloves. He slid a rather large chocolate chip cooking into a bag, setting it in front of Cloud. "There is such a thing as asking nicely. You should try it sometime."

"Hey, I got you this job. I don't have to be nice."

Demyx frowned. They were always like this to each other. Always fighting, never getting along. "You didn't have to get me this job."

"And you didn't have to show up at my house half-dead, thanks to the Keyblade Master."

"Well, you didn't have to take me in."

"You don't have to be a bastard."

"Ooh, touché."

Cloud took a bite of his cookie. "Milk." He ordered with his mouth full.

Demyx heaved a sigh, retreating to the back of the bakery. He returned with a glass full of milk and handed it to Cloud, waiting for a 'thank you' that never came. Cloud simply pressed the rim of the glass to his lips and took a small sip, continuing to slowly eat the rest of his cookie. Demyx huffed, throwing his hands in the air before returning back behind the counter. He shouldn't expect anything less from Cloud. He knew he wasn't the type to show any sort of gratitude.

Cloud finished the rest of his cookie and downed the glass of milk, leaving the trash for Demyx to clean up as he stood, about to leave. He stopped suddenly, hearing Demyx speak.

"What's on your mind?" The Nobody asked, leaning over the counter on his elbows. "Any time you come in here, there's always something wrong. You buy something sweet, thinking it'll make that something wrong go away, and then leave. But whatever's wrong never leaves your mind. You continue to think about it, dread it. It never leaves that pretty blonde head of yours." He threw Cloud's trash away and put the glass on top of the countertop, taking a seat at the same table. "Sit." He ordered. "We'll talk."

Cloud didn't move. He stood in the doorway, the door to the bakery standing wide open, held back by his hand. He asked himself, why should he spill his heart out to some one who didn't even have one? "Not inter--"

"It's an order. Now, sit."

Considering he didn't really have a choice in the matter now, Cloud took his seat once more. Perhaps he could get out of talking to this Nobody if he didn't say anything. You can't carry on a conversation if only one person was doing the talking, right?

"So, what's got your panties in a twist?"

Cloud chose to ignore the question, folding his arms and casting a sideways glance out the window.

"Ooh, the silent treatment." Demyx said, furrowing his brows. He relaxed back in his chair, folding his arms as well. "We're not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on."

"Nothing."

"Liar."

Cloud glared at him through his blonde bangs. "It's Sephiroth."

"That crazy, silver haired psychopath?" He tilted his head back and laughed. "You're scared of him, aren't you?"

"No."

"Liar!" He shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Cloud. "Liar, liar, liar!" He sang. "How do I know? It's written all over your face!"

"I'm not scared."

"Ah! Avoidance!"

"Demyx…"

"Hit the crisis right on the nose, didn't I?" Demyx smirked, bobbing his eyebrows. "So, you're avoiding him. Let's go from there."

"Just let me go home…"

"Why are you avoiding him?"

Cloud bit his bottom lip. "I'd rather not say."

Demyx's features softened a bit and he reached up to rub his cheek nervously. He wanted Cloud to open up to him, he really did. He wanted the older of the two to be able to speak his feelings, to him. Demyx wanted that more than anything in the worlds now. To be on terms where they knew everything about each other, knew what the other was feeling at any given time, to be able to communicate. And they wouldn't be able to do that unless Cloud opened up.

Cloud had… changed Demyx in ways none though possible. He used to be a wimp, used to be picked on by all the other Nobodies because he was so weak. Cloud made him strong. Now it was his turn to help him out.

I'm worried about you… Cloud…

Let me understand you.

I… I can help. I'm willing to help.

Give me this chance.

Take my hand. Trust me.

He was shaken from his thoughts as a soft 'thud' rang through his ears, and when he looked up, Cloud was no longer in front of him. He glanced around and saw his body on the floor. "Cloud!" Demyx shouted, falling to the ground near Cloud's limp body. He shook the blonde, trying to wake him up. "Cloud! Cloud!"

- - - - - - -

"God dammit! Tifa, leave me alone! I'm tired of you telling me to go fight Sephiroth, to destroy him, to face the darkness inside of me, whatever. I'll do it when I'm good and ready!"

"But, Cloud…"

"Don't 'but Cloud' me. Just leave me the hell alone!"

"I just want to help…"

"Well, you're doing a bad job of it!"

Cloud slammed the phone down back on its receiver, standing up. He sheathed his sword, the new and improved Buster Sword, throwing the front door of his house open. Just as he was about to leave, a portal in front of him opened and a man fell out of it, spreading out on the ground in front of him. The man, Cloud now clarified, was bleeding in several different places like he had been stabbed, dirty blonde hair in a mess atop the man's head.

"The hell?" Cloud questioned.

He knelt down, checking the man's pulse. He was still alive, barely breathing. Cloud wondered who would do this sort of thing, and then he noticed the familiarity of the man's cloak and scoffed.

"I bet it was Sora."

Shrugging all things off to the side, metaphorically speaking, Cloud hooked one arm under the man's neck and another under the bend in the man's knees. He stood, lifting him into his arms. He was heavy, and Cloud stumbled a bit, struggling to get inside his house. However, he managed, lightly placing the man on the couch.

Cloud poked at him. "Wake up." He muttered.

"Five more minutes…" The man mumbled, slapping Cloud's hand away.

"Great. He's delusional."

The man snapped up suddenly. He winced, collapsing back down from his upright position. "Where am I?"

"My house."

He turned to look at Cloud, raising an inquiring eyebrow. "Wait a sec… you're one of those people that help the Keyblade Master!" The man struggled to get up and call his weapon, falling on top of Cloud as his knees gave out. Cloud yelped in surprise and fell with him.

"Get off." However, the man was unconscious yet again. Cloud sighed. "It's going to be a long evening…"

- - - - - - -

"I thank you for taking care of me the past few weeks." Demyx said as he was gathering his things. "But, I really must be--"

"You're not going anywhere." Cloud interrupted. "I don't trust you."

"What, so I'm just going to stay here? In this tiny shack you call a house!"

"You can sleep in the spare cot, over there."

The cot, which Cloud had pointed to, looked rather rickety and old, and Demyx had decided it probably wouldn't hold his weight. "I am not sleeping on that old thing! I'll fall right through it. Why can't I have your bed?"

"Because… It's mine."

"Your point?"

Cloud scoffed. "You want a real bed, then you'll have to pay for it."

"I don't have any money to pay for it."

"I'll get you a job."

"You just have answers for everything, don't you?"

"Pretty much."

Demyx dumped his bags on the old cot, which, as he expected, wouldn't hold even his bags as the mattress sunk in, the metal bars underneath it breaking off. "Ok. What'll be my job? Since you're making me stay here and all. House cleaning? Teaching? Drug dealing?"

Cloud sent Demyx a hard glare for the last suggestion. "You can… work at the bakery."

"Bakery? Are you kidding? I can't cook to save my life!"

"You'll learn."

Demyx thought about it for a moment. "Fine. If it gets me a bed…"

- - - - - - -

"Hey, Cloud?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever been… trapped in darkness? Feeling as if there was no escape? No one to save you?"

"…Plenty of times…"

"Did you ever… lose your heart?"

"…No."

"I never really thought about it before… but I feel so empty inside. I know something's missing. I want to fill it. I want to--"

"--be able to feel? To know love, hate, anguish? To be whole?"

"How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess."

"And I suppose you're always lucky?"

"Yeah… I suppose so."

- - - - - - -

"Cloud?"

"Hey, Cloud! Come look at this!"

"Cloud, that's lame!"

"Cloud!"

"Isn't this great, Cloud?"

"Hello, Cloud?"

"You never tell me what's going on in that head of yours, Cloud…"

"Cloud…"

"Tell me what's wrong."

"And I suppose you're always lucky?"

"Cloud!"

Cloud's blue eyes fluttered open. He grimaced at the blinding light surrounding him, burning his pupils. It had been dark for so long…

"Thank God. You're awake." Demyx sighed, a hand over his racing heart.

"What… what happened?" Cloud asked groggily. He tried to sit up until a hand was placed on his chest and pushed him back down.

"You need your rest. You fainted." Demyx explained. "I had the doc come look at ya. He said you'll be back to normal within an hour. He just left."

"I… I see." His vision blurred in an out, almost as if he was going blind. He felt nauseous, sick, tired. He wanted to sleep, but couldn't. Those dreams he had were almost as if he was reliving the past. Why were they so focused on Demyx? Was the Nobody that important to him?

Cloud tried sitting up again, only to have firm hands pressed against his shoulders. He looked up at Demyx and cocked his head to the side. Demyx, he was…

He looked like he was about to cry.

But he couldn't. He was a Nobody after all. He had no heart.

"Demyx?"

"Why… why didn't you tell me? About… about your sickness!" Demyx faced twisted into sudden rage that shocked Cloud.

"So… you know, then."

Demyx release him. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. What upsets me most…" Demyx paused. "…is that I didn't hear it from you."

Before Cloud could respond, Demyx was already out the door, running towards the northern end of town where the bakery stood.

All Cloud could say after that was, "I'm… sorry."

I guess I'm not as lucky as we thought.

end chapter one