Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize, including Tavington (a pity), Bordon, O'Hara, etc..etc..etc.. I do own Vera Atkins and the rest of the Atkins family.
Chapter 1
Ever wonder why love makes the world turn? Why hate is just a fine line away from such a revered emotion such as love? I have asked myself those two questions many times over the years. Why? That's an easy answer. My husband. My husband was the sole reason for those two insistent questions in my life. Again why? For about three months, my husband was my jailor. After that he was my lover, yet he was still the jailor of my body, in a more pleasurable way, and heart. Even now with his ring on my finger, his eldest grandchild in my lap, he was my ruination and salvation. Since the day I met him I have hated him for what he did to me. From the first stare of his icy blue eyes, my life was turned upside down and rolled sideways many times over the years. Despite my hatred, however, I loved him just as much for he gave me a new life. One that was better than the one I thought I was destined for.
My life with my husband was rarely quiet. He had and still does have too much passion and fire blazing inside him, despite his cool exterior, to be satisfied sitting on a porch and staring at the scenery. He had so much fire and drive that even at the age of seventy eight, he was playing vigorously with his grandsons and granddaughter, Aidan. Dear little Aidan. The only child of our eldest, who sadly, along with his wife, left us in a horrible fashion, had only been one year old. Our Aidan, as we call her, for she has been our little angel. Our last child so to speak. She's been with us for six years now. My husband was wrapped around her little pinky and he knew it. If only the men, who had feared and loathed my husband in our past, could see him now. A teddy bear. Gruff, yet soft hearted with just one look from those green eyes so like mine. Everyone says she's my spitting image. My little image and my husband adored her for she was only one out of our children and grandchildren to have my red hair, hers being a shade or two lighter than my rich as blood locks as my husband has called them since the day we met.
Ah, that caught your interest. The day we met was interesting and quite strange by any standards. Now I imagine by your eager expression you want to hear the story, but may I ask you something? Yes? Would you like to hear the whole story? Yes? Very well! Make yourself comfortable, my dear, for our story is long and emotional. Now where to begin... Ah, yes, The day my husband and I met...
I was nineteen at the time and was very serious for my age. I was unmarried and in England, I would have been on the shelf, so to speak, and would have been called a spinster. I was living with my family helping with the younger children and housework. I also did many of my fathers' chore's because hehad beenaway at war at that time. He was a Colonel in the Continental Army and a very good one at that, having served in the French and Indian war. So since he was away, most of the responsibility has fallen to me for my dear mother had a ...weak heart. I have always said it was lazy bones that kept her in bed, but despite my misgivings on her health, I was the one who ran the house and watched the younger children with the help of my younger brother, who wasjust fourteen. His age being the reason he wasn't allowed to go along to war with my father and older brother, Sawyer. It also fell upon me to do the finances which were fairly low, but enough for our family despite our size and my mother wants. We had a couple horses for travel and field work, some chickens and pigs, and had a well tended garden.
It was on a humid day that I knelt in the dirt of that well tended garden, picking vegetables for supper, while my siblings played around the house and my mother slept inside the house. It was a few hours after noon when I heard the distant sounds of hoof beats. I stood quickly, listening closely with butterflies in my stomach, trying to stave off the panic and fear that was trying to cloud my mind. My brothers and sisters stopped playing to gather around me, literally clinging to my skirts. I looked down into their anxious faces and quickly looked at the eldest in the group my brother Theodore.
"Go get Papa's muskets," I told him as I herded my siblings inside. I knelt to their level inside the house, putting on a calm serious face. "I want all of you to go to my room and be very quiet. This isn't a game. Do you understand?" They all nodded, faces solemn and scared, making my heart squeeze painfully for them. I kissed them quickly before shooing them up the stairs, the youngest one being carried as Theodore came from the study two muskets in hand. I smiled at him gently and captured him in a tight hug. He, for once, didn't fight, but hugged back just a tightly. We parted and moved out onto the porch, listening to hoof beats. My musket rested on my right side as Theodore stood on my left, musket by his side, ready to lifted and shot at a moment's notice. Soon, too soon, horses thundered and bursted through the trees to slow and gather in front of our home. Theodore cursed colorfully under his breath, but I didn't reprimand him for I wanted to do the same. British soldiers sat upon their horses on our land and not just any soldiers. No, here before us stood the British Green Dragoons.
"Be silent, Theo." I warned him as three horses with riders upon them broke away from the rest to come closer.
"We are commandeering this house and land in the name of the Crown and King George." The soldier in the middle commanded coldly as he looked down at us from his aquiline nose.
I straightened my back and stared up at him sternly. "You're welcome to a quarter of the livestock and any vegetables you need you may pick. There's a stream behind the house to wash up in and to water the horses. Food for the horses is found in the barn. Officers may stay in the house and may use the kitchen to cook if I'm not cooking." I stated firmly, refusing to be cowed. I prayed that my father would understand that the lives of my siblings were first priority over any or all beliefs.
The middle man laughed scornfully down at me. "You think you can give orders? You gain foolish bravery from just two muskets, my dear girl," He sneered the endearment, "We shall do as we please!"
The soldiers, behind the three, laughed and leered at me. I stiffened with loathing and not just a little fear. We had two women, one fourteen year old, and four children. They would do what they wanted. No onewas here tostop them. I swiftly stamped down the fear and doubt, knowing that I needed to be firm, even if it would get me killed. They wouldn't hurt children. Or would they? I refused to answer or to seek one.
I smiled grimly before turning to go inside the house, refusing to acknowledge what he said with words, even though I'm sure my fear had shown, if only momentarily.
"Come, Theo." I waited for my brother to walk inside before following, back tensed and straight as if expecting a physical blow. Inside the house I whispered to Theo, "Take your musket and go to my room. Try to keep the children calm."
"What about you? I saw how they looked at you!" Theo cried angrily as we climbed the stairs. I quickly hushed him and pulled him into a fierce hug. It was suppose to be for his comfort, but I had to admit it was for mine. I was terrified. What was going to happen? It was a question that I loathed thinking about. The answer was unknown and the unknown was terrifying.
"Don't worry about me! I'll be fine. Now go!" I released him and shooed him towards my room before heading to my mother's room. I opened the door and slipped inside as my ears picked up the sound of the front door opening and spurs clicking on the floor. I faced my mother to find her sitting up in bed, obviously waiting for my arrival.
"Who is it, Vera?" My mother asked, smoothing the blankets against her legs.
"British Green Dragoons are here. You need to get dressed, Mother. Quickly!" I snapped when she didn't move to get out of bed. I went to one of her chests and pulled out a gown for her, watching her slow progress out of bed. At that point I was tempted to scream in sheer frustration at her alone. Forget the Dragoons, she was pissing me off. I tossed her the dress and walked to the door, listening closely. There! Spurs on the stairs. I cursed vehemently, relieving the tension in my body.
"Vera!" My mother cried from behind me. It was clear from her tone that she was appalled at my language. I grinned at the door before calling steadily over my shoulder, "Hurry, Mother."
I opened the door and slipped into the hall just as the middle soldier reached the landing. I hurried over to him, keeping a nice distance, but kept my body between him and my room. He raised an eyebrow at me as I was blocking his path.
"How many officers?" I asked shortly, hands folded in front of me primly.
"Two other than me," he replied, watching me closely. I shifted on my feet, unsettled at the blue stare.
"Well, then the other two shall have the boys' room for it has two beds. You may have my bedroom." I said nervously, not liking the cold amusement in his eyes.
He made a tisking sound, smiling pleasantly as if we were good friends and were having the best of times.
"My dear, I shall have the master bedchamber." He said smoothly, even as he gracefully sidestepped me and headed for my parent's bedchamber. Quickly, I scrambled in front of him and quite dramatically (we laugh about it years later) threw my body against the door, arms stretched out from my sides, barring his way. The infernal eyebrow rose again as he smiled as he looked suggestively at my display.
"As... tempting as the invitation is, my dear, I'm afraid I'll decline..."
"...for now." He drawled, eyes roving over my body. I swallowed thickly, ignoring my body's reaction to his heated stare.
"You'll have to wait a bit before you can have it. The bed chamber, I mean!" I stammered unsteadily for he was standing too close to ignore the heat of his body as well as his scent, which was a cross between pine, sandalwood, and male combined with the smell of sweat, smoke, and, I cringed inwardly, blood. Too say the least, my head was swimming and I didn't like it. No man had ever aroused me in this way. It was intense, clenching, and very confusing.
I pressed myself closer to the door, only to stumble back as it opened.
"Oh my! Why are you blocking the door, Vera?" My mother asked, flustered and confused. She seemed to find her own answer as her dark eyes caught the man's blue eyes.
"Oh my! I'm sorry to keep you waiting! I was indisposed this morning. Will you be staying for night?" My mother simpered.
I sneered, abruptly coming out of my heated daze as he stared at my mother. Green light was swimming around the eges of my vision, but I refused to acknowledge jealousy over my mother and a British Dragoon.
"He is, along with the rest of the Dragoons, staying the night . He'll have the master bedchamber while the other two officers take the boy's room." I answered for him, arms crossed tightly in front of me.
He glanced over at me, eyes filled with spiteful amusement as a smirk found it's way across his mouth. I sniffed disdainfully and walked by them both, trying to ignore the feel of the man's eyes on me.
"Vera, where are the children?" My mother asked, freezing me at the top of the stairs.
"My bedchamber." I answered shortly. "They'll remain there for now until I deem it otherwise."I began descending the stairs when the man's voice reached my ears.
"I want hot water to clean up with along with some towels."
I gritted my teeth and continued down the stairs, furious at him, my mother, and myself. Him for being here, for makingmy body come alive, and for looking atmy mother. My mother for being an indifferent mother, for even thinking and looking at the British officer while was married to a man, who adored her. Me... I was furious at myself for my body's reaction to such a man.
I stomped into the kitchen and started venting out my anger. I banged, or at least tried to, a bucket of water on to the stove to heat and stood glaring at it sourlyas my mother sailed into the kitchen. I ignored her as I began preparing supper. I now had three extra mouthsto cook for. Joy!
"My isn't he handsome? And those eyes?" My mother crooned, fanning herself with her hand.
I grunted inelegantly and sneered as I savagely chopped lettuce. My mother glided over to the stove to peer over the rim of the bucket. "Is it hot enough?" she asked, innocently.
"Stick your finger in it and see?" I suggested half meanly, half jokingly. I should have known better, but... God was it funny!
To my utter amazement and dismay, she did as I suggested. She yelped, pulling it back from the scalding water to place the injured digit into her mouth, whimpering. I just stared at her in disbelief as shespoke around her finger. "It's hot enough."
I rolled my eyes as I wetted a rag in one of the cooler buckets, and pulled her finger from her mouth to wrap the cool rag around it. I turned to the bucket on the stove and grabbed a nearby towel to grip the handle and lift it from the stove. I held the hot bucket with one hand and bent down to lift a cooler bucket from the floor to the stove. I turned to my mother and told her to look at me. "Watch the water. Don't stick your finger in it. Just grab a towel and lift it off the... Wait! Just don't touch anything at all! Understand?"
She nodded, pouting at her finger. I slowly turned and made my way out of the kitchen, balancing the bucket of scalding water. It was slow progress up the stairs, but all too soon I was at the landing turning carefully and heading to the master bedchamber. In front of the door, a knocked shortly before opening it. Of course, me being me, didn't wait for a 'enter.' I just walked on in. You would've too if you had been holding a bucket full of hot water. Now as I entered the room, my attention was on the bucket therefore completely unaware that a bare chested officer stood watching me with ill disguised amusement as I navigated around with my bucket. I lifted and poured the water into my parent's wash bowl as carefully as I was able not to spill to any water on to the stand or me. However, none of us, especially me, are perfect. My gown got a healthy splash as well as the stand.
When the bowl was full, I placed the now lighter bucket on the floor before turning and smacking right in to a large and warm body. I leapt back, narrowly missing another splash from the wash bowl as I stared wide eyed at the bare chested male before me.
"Do you like what you see, my dear?"The bare chested male purred, eyelids dropping over blue eyes that held the ever present male amusement and ego.
I made some noise in my throat as an answer as he moved closer. His movement seemed to wake me up for I suddenly darted around him before backing away from the man.
"Nice try, Sir. I'm not a shrinking violet nor a whore eager for any man, let alone you. Keep your distance, Sir, and your stay will be more pleasant." As I talked, my hands were searching behind me for the door, then the doorknob, which I turned hard and wrenched the door open even harder before slipping out of the room into the hallway. I shut the door quietly and leaned my forehead against the door, letting a ragged sigh of relief...or... disappointment? Part of me didn't want to know which, but oh how, deep down, I wanted it to the latter. The man on the other side of the door spelled danger and how like a naive country girl like me to be attracted to such a man. Partly, I was ashamed. I was betraying my father and my country for even liking the enemy in any way, let alone lusting after him. I rolled my head gently against the doorgroaning slightly. What a mess! The only thing to do was to steer clear of the man and any other British man dressed in red posted outside my home. Even as I thought this I knew that the grip that the officer had of me was powerful and that no matter how hard I was fighting and was going to fight, it would make no difference for even as I stand there outside the door, I knew that I was losing the battle, damn me if I was going to lose the war.
A/N: Well, what do you think? Good? Bad? Improvement? Any mistakes or bloopers? REVIEW, if you can't get the hint! (LOL)