Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. If I did, I wouldn't allow you to touch him or even look at him. Hehe. So don't sue me!

Chapter One: Weird Feeling

Have you ever felt so frustrated? I mean really, as in really frustrated that you would desperately do anything just to escape from that frustration? Because I, Kamiya Kaoru, 25 years old, am very frustrated with my own life.

Can't believe it right? For a person who has everything, what could be missing? At this age, I have a career; I have bought my own house and lot; I have my own car; and I have friends whom I can count on. One could say I am successful. But that's just a small part of the story.

Well, what made me say my life is frustrating? I've gone to a bunch of weddings but I have never gone to my own. I have never been the bride. I've always been the bridesmaid!

Sometimes I ask myself if there's something wrong with me. Why can't I get myself a groom? I don't even have a boyfriend! Okay, I admit I'm not really beautiful but I'm not ugly either. I'm not tall but my height is acceptable and my figure is fine. I may not have those big bumpers but sure I've got the curves. Physically, I'm totally okay.

But why can't I even make a guy attracted to me!

Maybe I'm still hoping.

NO.

I'm still totally hoping that he'd come back.

Well, there's actually this one guy who dared to win my hand in marriage in the past but I don't know. I wasn't ready to settle down. I was young. I had a dream. I had a promising career and I just don't want to leave it all behind. I was blinded. I let him slip out my life. And maybe, that was the biggest mistake I did in my entire life.

It has already taken me four painful years to find out why I let go of something so important in my life. And maybe it's still taking me years to endure the hurt and the shame of being sooo stupid. I'm stuck. Kaoru Kamiya: never the bride, always the bridesmaid.

Good thing, there's a change today. I'm going to be the maid-of-honor. But if I were to think of it, there's really nothing different. I am still not the bride.

"Hey busu! Are you waiting for Santa Claus! We're going to be late!"

An annoying yell and an irritating knock on the door stirred me out of my rumination. I realized I was sitting on the same chair, facing the mirror, and staring blankly at my reflection for a couple of minutes now.

What was I thinking? I should be happy. It's Misao's wedding day today.

In my most heartening voice I answered, "Wait a sec. I'm almost done."

I took a last glance in the mirror before I decided to go out. My baby blue tube top gown certainly fitted my slender body. It accentuated my curves and complemented my sapphire eyes. My hair was tied up into a high ponytail with my bangs brushed up showing my forehead. I wore the white gold necklace with a cute butterfly pendant that my mom gave me couple of years ago. I'm not an expert in doing my make-up so I decided to use some gloss and powder.

"Busu! Speed up!"

A young guy in a black tux greeted my eyes as I opened the door. My younger brother Yahiko was right in front of me with that impatient look on his face. But his expression suddenly changed when he saw me.

Before he could say anything, I glared at him and shut him up. "Keep it to yourself Yahiko."

I don't want to hear any of his nasty comments about how I look or whatsoever. Sure thing he doesn't mean any of it but I just hate hearing it.

Hearing my words, he just smirked at me, turned his back, and said, "Let's go… Anyways, you look good sis." And then without turning back, he went his way to the garage.

Whoah. He must be sick. Didn't I just hear him say something positive about my looks? He must have eaten something bad because he's kinda acting oh-so-nice suddenly. How could he be so unpredictable?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Just on time." I muttered to myself as Yahiko and I stepped down my black Honda Civic. The trip from the house to the church went smooth. Thank God we were not caught in a traffic jam. For a change, Yahiko and I didn't get to any "word war." He just kept quiet and paid attention to his iPod during the whole ride.

This day is weird.

"Kaoru!"

My attention was shifted when a beautiful genki woman dressed in an elegant white gown sitting inside a limo just right beside my car let out an ear-splitting shriek. Recognizing it was my friend, I also blurted.

"Misao!"

I excitedly got into the bridal car and sat beside my long time friend. "God, you're beautiful." I giggled while scrutinizing my best friend's over-all look. "I can't believe you're getting married! I'm so happy for you."

Wow. She's finally getting married to the guy she has loved since high school. Good for her.

I can see her eyes are glowing with happiness. This day, she looked even more beautiful. I've never seen her this blooming. Love could really be amazing.

Before I knew it, she threw her arms around me not minding the veil that was blocking her face and shoulders and then she hugged me tight. Still not breaking the tight embrace, she spoke. "You know what Kao, I'm sooo happy. And I've never been this happy in my entire life."

I was lost for words so I just patted her back.

She released me from the tight squeeze and looked at me in the eye. Teary eyed, she muttered, "I'm nervous."

Just by hearing her wobbly voice and by holding her shaky hands, I could tell she really was. I looked at her with amusement. For a few seconds, our eyes locked and then out of nowhere, we just laughed. We laughed real hard until we were breathing hard. I guess that's just a part of the mystery of friendship—laughing out of nothing.

"You'd be great Misao. Don't worry okay?" I assured her with a smile not leaving my face.

"Thanks… I missed you Kaoru…" She genuinely replied as she reached out for another hug. She must have really missed me. I missed her too. We hardly had time to talk since she was super busy on the preparations of her wedding. "You look gorgeous in that gown… Really," she added.

"Bridesmaids deserve to be beautiful too! Right?" I chuckled.

She just gave me that "oh come on" look.

Realizing my mistake, I faked a laugh. "Oh… I forgot I have just been promoted."

For a second there I thought I forgot about being a loser and out of the blue I'm reminded again.

Realizing what I've said, I felt bitter. Not for Misao but for myself. I've been wishing for my own wedding too. I felt sorry that it's not going to happen this soon.

She moved into a more comfortable position and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Come on Kao. You'll eventually leave that bridesmaid or whatsoever role of yours. Don't lose hope okay? You know I hate to see you hurting."

She really is indeed my best friend. She knows me inside out.

I just gave out a big sigh and smiled as if trying to convince her that I'm all right.

"I'm totally fine, Misao. Don't worry. This day is yours. Don't worry about me okay?"

The sweet moment with my best friend was broken when a rooster-head guy in a black tux interrupted.

"I'm sorry to disrupt your sweet little girl talk ladies." Sanosuke smiled teasingly. He leaned on the car window comfortably then he looked at Misao and talked, "Misao, are you ready? The ceremony is about to start."

He shifted his glance to me and grinned. Then he started annoying me. "Hey missy!"

Uh oh. He's starting again.

I could exactly read what he's thinking. I know what that famous grin meant. He'll eventually annoy me about staying single and all that.

"I know what you're thinking rooster-head. Save it for later."

He chuckled at what I've just said. "Whoah… Okay Missy! I'll save it. Now you two better get your butts out of the car," he spoke teasingly emphasizing the last sentence. Then he turned his back, waved his right hand and went his way.

Misao shifted her attention back to me and mumbled nervously. "I guess we have to go in there now." Her shaky hands reached for the handle and opened the car door. Her feet touched the ground but before she could finally get out of the car, she faced me again. Then she muttered the words I'm not expecting to hear.

"I almost forgot to tell you. He's coming… "

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Notes: yehey! leaps for joy! finally I had written my first ever fic. Waaaaaa please bear with me. It's my first time to write so I'm still getting used to it. I didn't know how it feels to be a writer until I wrote this. I got this idea when I remembered a certain movie. But this is not based on that movie. Of course KnK forever! And oh, if there are any grammatical errors, please do inform me. English is not my native language fyi.  I still have difficulties in using the tenses. Waaaaa

come on.. please leave a review. Don't be harsh though. My heart could break. laughs