Famous Five
Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters in the Famous Five. Thank you God for sparing me the humiliation of writting such complete and utter trash.
OK, when your reading this, just imagine that Tim's woof is completely depressed and unenthusiastic, George is played by a guy in a beard and a very deep voice, and Annies voice is so high pitched it smashes glass.
Narrator: There have been many great and magnificent writers in Britain's history. Chaucer, Milton, Shakespeare, Shelly, Keats…and of course, the founder of all great bards…Enid Blyton. Here is a short summery of one of her most magnificent works, in play format.
George: Hello. I'm George, real name Georgina but I'm confused.
Julian: Hello. I'm Julian.
Anne: Hello. I'm Annie and I'm an empty-headed bimbo.
Dick: Hello. I'm Dick. I'm big for my age.
Narrator: And this is Timmy the dog.
Timmy: Woof.
Narrator: One day the Famous five have just arrived home from Boarding School and finished a hearty breakfast of 6 pigs, 4 bulls, 460 fried eggs, 1 ton of butter, 540 loaves of home baked bread and
Chorus : "Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"
Narrator :When Annie touched the lion's nose on the mantelpiece.
Anne: Oh look a secret passage has opened up before me.
Narrator: Dick stands up and bangs his head. He was tall for his age.
Dick (stands up, rubs head): Oh look! Another secret passage.
Narrator: At this George thumped Julian on the nose.
George:Oh look! Another secret passage has opened up in the floor.
Narrator: As Julian collapsed in a blood soaked, crumpled heap on the floor guess what opened up under him?
Chorus:"Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"
Narrator: To which Timmy replied
Timmy: Woof.
George: Lets follow the secret passage and have an adventure.
Julian: Errr
Dick: Oh Yar Let's
Annie: I'm scared
Timmy: Woof.
Narrator: The passage led them to Kirren Island.
Annie: Oh Look there's a dirty, stinking working-class type. He must be a criminal. Let's call the police.
George: I had better call the police using my Semaphore flags which I just happened to have on me. I learnt it in the Territorial SAS. Look Timmy's has backed them into a corner with his sharp teeth and fearsome bark.
Timmy: Woof.
Narrator: Then the police came and arrested the greasy looking chaps of the baser sort. They celebrated with
Chorus: "Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"
NarratorThat afternoon the Famous five went for a walk. It was hot and Timmy ran on along with his tongue dangling halfway down his legs.
Dick: Look those men over there look like foreigners.
Julian: They must be spies.
Annie: Let's Listen. Ooh! I'm scared.
Spies: Yar swine Handy hock. We will rule ze world.
George: Go get them Timmy.
Narrator: Timmy backed them into a corner with his sharp teeth and vicious bark
Timmy:Woof.
Narrator: Just then MI5 arrived- they were all friends of Uncle Quentin.
"Well done Famous Five" said J.M. Doon. "You've cleared up 95 of all British crime."
They celebrated with a small of Farmer Giles beef herd and
Chorus: "Lashings and lashings of Lemonade!"