How to Save a Life
cause after all you do know best
"You'll come visit again soon, right?"
"Yeah, I'll try," Shikamaru promised, although someone who knew him better – someone like Ino or Chouji – would have known that he sounded a little more than half-hearted as he said it.
Temari gave him a long look that he countered with a yawn. She rolled her eyes and kissed him, short and dry as the desert around them. He waved to her before turning and marching the few yards to where his teammates were waiting for him to get done saying his false good-byes.
"Drink plenty of water!" Temari called desperately to their retreating backs, as if giving advice would make him share the interest in her that he once had. Shikamaru raised a hand to her without turning around.
When they were far enough away from Suna to avoid their eavesdropping border guards, Ino grumbled irritably, "You said you were going to tell her this time."
Shikamaru rubbed a hand through his hair and avoided her eyes. "I didn't want to do it there," he muttered. "Gaara is there. He can kill me with his pinky."
"You're scared of her, not him," Chouji observed sagely, pulling a bag of chips out of his backpack. Ino uncapped a water bottle and took a swallow.
"This isn't gonna work out, Shika," she said for the umpteenth time. "If she finds out from you, she'll only maim you. Slightly." The blonde kunoichi paused, considering, and then shook her head, dismissing the thought. "If she finds out on her own, though, she'll dismember you. Disembowel you – decapitate you," she warned, pointing her water bottle at her teammate and then added, almost as an afterthought, "And then she'll bring you to Gaara."
Chouji and Shikamaru shuddered collectively. The former offered the bag of chips sympathetically to his lazy friend, who gratefully took a handful and crunched on them with blank eyes.
Sensing that she had given him more reason to avoid ending his dead-end relationship with Temari than reason to actually end it, Ino hastily reached up and brought his head down close enough to her mouth to kiss his ear playfully. Pulling away with a scowl, he rubbed the spit off of his ear and glowered sullenly at her.
She said, "Don't worry so much, Shika. After all, who do you think will be the ones piecing you back together again in the end?"
--
Ino remembered the first time she saw Chouji and Shikamaru kiss, which was about two years ago. She had been making out with the two of them separately for months, enjoying the attention and thinking it nothing more than brief moments of pleasure for them all. She hadn't mentioned anything about kissing sessions to the other, and so, as far as she was concerned, it was all one well-kept and not too bad secret. She invested nothing in it – no romantic notions, no half-lidded dreams of marriage; it was fun and easy. Besides, Shikamaru was seeing Temari, and kissing Ino relieved him of his Suna-kunoichi induced stress. In her eyes, it worked out for everyone.
That is, until she walked into the grocery store and saw Chouji pinning Shikamaru to a shelf as he kissed the life out of him in the dry goods aisle.
Never one for tact, Ino had squeaked out a surprised "Oh-my-gosh-Shika-Chou!" Caught in the act, the two sprang apart and hastily made excuses while she pointed and declared them "ousted" and "discovered".
"And I thought you two were – were –" She couldn't come up with the words, and collapsed into happy giggles, supporting herself against a shelf lined with cereal. "Man, I thought the only action you two got was when you made out with me! 'Cept for you and Temi-chan, Shika, but I didn't think she'd be giving you much anyway…" She shook her head, disbelieving and still snickering.
"You made out with her?" the boys asked each other simultaneously.
And thus was Team 10's real relationship spawned – in the dry goods aisle of Konoha's only grocery store.
--
"No, seriously, flower shop on Saturday, Chouji – be there," Ino repeated seriously, flopping down between the two boys on the bed in their apartment. The trek back from Suna hadn't been a particularly fun one (it never was), but the three of them always managed to make it bearable if they were with one another. At home again, freshly showered and smelling like shampoo and shaving cream, Team 10 was currently enjoying the luxuries of fresh sheets, instant ramen, and skimpy pajamas in the hot summer evening.
"Iiiinoooo," Chouji whined, spearing a forkful of ramen into his mouth.
"I can't help it," she said, shrugging, slurping up some noodles hanging over the edge of her teammate's cup. "Billboard Brow wants to go shopping for her stupid wedding dress and she's not letting me get out of it."
"Get Shika to run the shop for you for once," the Akimichi boy begged, scraping the last bits of carrot and peas out of the bottom of the cup. Ino looked over at the lanky boy, who shook his head firmly and rolled over, effectively shutting himself out of the conversation.
"Shikamaru, it's only fair," Ino pointed out, poking his shoulder and then leaning heavily on his back, causing him to shift uncomfortably and tell her to get the hell off of him, woman. She ignored him, tapping her chin thoughtfully as she said, "As my boyfriends, it's your duty to watch the shop when I can't, and so far you've neglected to do this every single time I've needed you to."
"So?" he asked, his voice muffled by the blanket.
"In the past two years," she added dryly.
"Why start now?" he wondered, pushing her roughly off of him and in the process falling over the side of the bed. Chouji barked a laugh at his teammate's undignified sprawl on the floor, and Ino suppressed her giggles behind the back of her hand. Grumbling and muttering, Shikamaru picked himself up and stalked off to the kitchen.
"Aww, come back, Shika!" Ino called, crawling to the edge of the bed and trying her best to stifle the rest of her laughter. Chouji set the empty ramen cup and fork on the bedside table and flicked off the light; it was hot enough in the room without the light on.
When Shikamaru didn't reply, Ino scrambled off of the bed and went after him, knocking into him in the dark of the kitchen, where he was filling a glass with water from the tap. The cup fell over into the sink, the water spilling down the drain, and she locked her arms around his waist, pulling him back against her. Both of them were damp with sweat, and their skin stuck together due to the close contact.
A heavy thud and then steady vibrations in the floor a moment later told them that Chouji had followed them, and he found them easily in the darkness of the kitchen, the only light coming in through the window over the sink. He grabbed the first arm he found – Ino's – and pulled them collectively back towards the bedroom.
"I'll watch the shop, Ino-chan," he said gruffly, tugging them through the doorway and then pushing them down on the bed. Still clinging to Shikamaru, both he and Ino tumbled onto the bed; their heads knocked together and they groaned, but when the familiar dent in the bed appeared as Chouji climbed on, they separated and adjusted themselves to include their teammate.
"Softee," Shikamaru mumbled, lodging his head in the crook of Chouji's shoulder.
"Hardass," Ino countered softly in regards to the lazy brunette, wriggling into a comfortable position with her arms wrapped around said hardass's waist.
"Slave driver," Chouji added cheerfully, punching a pillow to better suit him.
--
The shared apartment was Chouji's idea. He was the only one living on his own – Shikamaru was still too lazy to find a place outside of the Nara household, and Inoichi couldn't bear to live alone if Ino got an apartment, or so she claimed. In reality, Chouji just thought that she wanted to look out for her father, even if the man was old enough to be looking out for himself by then.
Together they made enough to easily cover the rent and groceries for a bigger place, so they moved in together on Chouji's eighteenth birthday. He claimed that it was present enough for them to move in with him, and since that entailed not having to do extra shopping, they were both willing participants. There weren't many that remarked on this arrangement – many assumed that Ino and Chouji were together and that Shikamaru was just mooching off of their couch. Having Temari around was a good pretense for this situation, so even if Ino and Chouji were highly opposed to the idea of Shikamaru seeing someone outside of the 'relationship', they couldn't argue about the strategic qualities of the situation.
None of them argued about the fact that they loved coming home more than they ever had before. When they were dispatched on separate missions, whoever was still in Konoha made a point of being in the apartment the day that the other was due back so that they would be welcomed home. The sound of the keys – building and apartment, household complex, flower shop, Academy, what have you – jangling as they were thrown down on the counter was never considered an annoyance. They went on communal trips to the grocery store, considering it some sort of bizarre fun to be buying their own food, stocking up their own refrigerator, filling their own cabinets. Never had one of Chouji's ideas been so well-received.
Inoichi did fine on his own. He stopped by the apartment once a week to make sure that Ino was fine, and she visited him in between besides, especially during the times he roped her into watching the shop.
Chouza liked that his son was being watched for by his two best friends, and inwardly he was hoping that the Ino-and-Chouji rumors were true, because wouldn't he be happy if his son was getting married to the Yamanaka girl? And on so many levels of happy, too.
Shikaku was the only skeptic among them, much like his son. He didn't believe the hoo-hah about Ino and Chouji, because, well, Ino wasn't the type of girl to settle down with someone like Chouji – or, at least, only someone like Chouji. Shikaku had the sneaking suspicion that his son was two-timing that tough Suna girl and was making his teammates happy instead. He didn't say anything to Shikamaru, but he was pretty sure in his diagnosis of the situation.
Still, what could the three of them say? Their children were happy, and that was all that really counted, right?
--
"Geez, Shika, what happened to you?"
Ino caught him as he stumbled in the doorway of their apartment at nine thirty at night, one hand fumbling for his key while the other held a towel up over half his face. Luckily, she had just been leaving for last-minute tailoring on Forehead Girl's dress – her wedding was in less than a week, and she hadn't even looked at that thing since they'd bought it. Luckily for Lee, he wouldn't see his blushing bride in an oversized potato sack, since Ino happened to be a pretty good sewer – except that Shikamaru looked like he'd just gotten into a fight with a falling beam and lost. Badly.
"Hey, come inside," she said after a minute of blank staring at the blood soaking the towel and the obvious impaired motor abilities of her teammate. Grabbing Shikamaru's shoulder, she ushered him into the apartment and sat him down at the kitchen table, leaving the door open without thought. Kneeling down next to him, she hesitantly reached up and peeled the towel away from his face, which was just as blood-smeared as the cloth.
"Watch it," he warned her as she tried to clear away the mess on his face with her sleeve. Realizing it was a lost cause, Ino stood up and went to the sink, wet a cloth, and then brought it back to him, where she gently sponged away the blood.
"What happened?" she asked again, touching his eye, which was bright red and starting to swell; it would be spectacular shades of blue and purple come morning.
"Temari happened," he said blandly, and that explained it all. Despite his obvious distress, she couldn't help but let a small smile curve her full lips.
"Hey, Shika, I think you finally did it." She rubbed the last of the blood away with the towel and then tossed it across the room and into the sink. Standing, she went to the refrigerator and grabbed a few ice cubes out of the tray in the freezer before promptly wrapping them up in a thinner towel and handing it to him.
As he put it gratefully over his eye, he asked, "Did what?"
"Grew a backbone," she said, smirking.
Shikamaru had nothing to say to that. He merely sat, holding the ice pack over his soon-to-be black eye, as Ino inspected his nose. She poked and prodded, causing him to twitch irritably and shift away from her (which, of course, did not deter her). After several moments of careful deduction she announced, "Your nose is definitely broken."
He rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the diagnosis, doctor."
Chouji took that opportunity to come in through the still-open door, grumbling about Ino and her manipulative tactics (he'd been confined to the flower shop again). When he saw what was going on in the kitchen, however, he dropped his pessimistic attitude and switched into Concerned Friend and Lover mode.
"What's going on?" he asked, shuffling up to Dr. Ino's Laboratory.
"Shika told Temari," the blonde kunoichi replied brightly. Chouji's eyes widened, but he nodded knowingly – that made sense.
"She punched you because you told her?" he asked.
"She punched me because I lied for two years," Shikamaru clarified.
No one could really say anything to that – it had been Ino and Chouji's idea to have Temari and Shikamaru remain dating to cover up for their own taboo relationship. That they had all gotten tired of the charade and that it had ended with Shikamaru getting beaten up by his now ex-girlfriend was no fault of his.
After a minute, Ino stood up, brushed off her knees, and said brusquely, "We should take you to Forehead Girl and get her to fix up your nose." Chouji nodded in agreement and offered Shikamaru a supportive hand, which the other took and pulled himself up with. The lazy nin didn't protest – he allowed himself to be moved along by his teammates the way he always did.
--
Later that night, after Sakura had dubiously healed his nose and they had all tiredly retreated back to the apartment, Ino rolled over in bed (not an easy feat, being buffered by Chouji on one side and Shikamaru on the other) and touched the lazy genius's shoulder. It was light and hardly lingered at all, but he blinked awake and turned over to face her.
"What is it?" he whispered, his voice hoarse. The boys had fallen asleep hours ago, but Ino had remained awake, turning the scenario over and over in her head: Shikamaru lying straight for years, and then taking Temari's punches even though he would have expected and easily been able to dodge them. He must have felt like he had deserved them to take them.
"I'm sorry," she said, not looking at him.
To her surprise, he put an arm around her bare back and held her close. "It's fine," he said after a minute, and she had to strain to hear his voice. He kissed her forehead, and her eyes closed of their own accord. From behind, Chouji scooted unconsciously back, sandwiching her even more between the two of them, right where she belonged.