Disclaimer: No, don't own EVA...I would have made it longer. Go ask Gainax...they own it.
Charactors are roughly 18 in this fic. Currently a oneshot. Depending on reviews I might expand it. First fic posted, but not the first one started. If I get good reviews I'll start working on the other one again too.
Hope you like it! Please R&R!
'Aww, FUCK IT!' He said as he sat up in his bed throwing the sheets off. The cool night are made his skin bristle. She was crying again. Alone, in her room, where she thought nobody could hear her. Thought that HE couldn't hear her. He had tried…oh, yes…he had tried to talk to her…to help her. He had gotten a swift kick to the balls, then to the head on the way down, and a couple to the ribs on the floor for his trouble.
YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND ME! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BAKA PERVERT! I HATE YOU, I HATE EVERYONE!
Oh, that had been a real FUN day. 'Psh…don't understand her? Maybe if she'd TALK to me I would! I could at least try. At least I had learned talking about your problems can help after third impact. SHE just holed up in her room, only coming out for medical attention. Always wore those damn sunglasses too…just like that bastard father of mine. The only time I know of that she'll take them off is when she's all alone in her room…after she threw out the mirror she had. She won't look at her eye, and won't let anyone else either. It's hard to know what someone's thinking and feeling if they don't talk to you…but if you can't see their eyes…it's impossible. Ayanami's gone…my sister…or whatever she was to me. Misato's become a shell of her former self. I almost wish I could get her to drink again. Rokubungi and Akagi are dead along with about half of NERV.'
The black moon still hangs low in the sky and the world's greatest remaining minds are trying to figure out how to move or destroy it to remove the effect it's having on earth's gravity. Mostly, anyone alive before impact came back. Toji lucked out and got his arm and leg back, and finally started going out with Hikari when they moved back. Hell, even Kensuke gave up his obsession with NERV after the truth came out. He's on the journalism track and hooked up with Chiaki from 2-B.
'But no, I'm stuck with miss priss the queen of bitchiness. You know what the sad part is? It's really funny. I swear…you'll laugh…. I think I love her. I don't know if it's her determination, or our similar pasts, or that we've been stuck together so long. If she'd JUST let me IN!'
Still crying…sobbing now actually. She must either figure we're fast asleep or can't tell how loud she's being, but I swear the neighbors (if we had any) would be able to hear her. That's it…pain or not I can't take her crying like this.
Shinji Ikari, 18, redeemer of mankind in third impact and hero of life on earth saw many things three years ago the day the world died and was given a chance to live again. He decided it was time to put his past behind him. He didn't need his father's acceptance…his father was not a man who's opinion should mean much. His worth wasn't in EVA, because EVA should never have existed. Man playing god and Shinji was forced on the throne. No, he had his own life to live. Like so many others he had a second chance…and it was his to take. He had used his time wisely: learning truths behind NERV's past and controlling the remains of the organization through Misato from behind the scenes. With her help, and the information Kaji left behind he had decimated SEELE until only Keel was left in hiding. Unless he had died on his own anyways. He had filled out too. His friends were a great resource to him. Kensuke training his mind and combat knowledge and skills, and Toji training his body. He was not going to be used again. He knew the toll the training had on his body. The pile of love notes that doubled Asuka's these days told him that. He never once replied; only returned the unopened notes with a solemn notice of his decline of the offer.
Asuka hated him, and was his closest friend and confidant. They were close, until she felt the walls falling. Then she brought back the memories of his absence during the MP EVA battle, and his transgression in the hospital before hand (she knew of this from his honest apology), and all the other things she thought she hated about him. Asuka loved him, and she knew it. Shinji loved her, and she knew it. Asuka was scared, and they both knew it, but she couldn't handle that. Everyone she loved died. Her mother and Kaji had been taken from her. She prided herself on her piloting and EVA and in the end, her pride consumed her, and made her into nothing in the EVA. She couldn't even save what was left of her mother after finding her soul in EVA. She was EVA, she was nothing without EVA, then she learned that EVA destroyed her. EVA took her mother; EVA took Kaji; EVA took her. Who was she? She didn't even know anymore. She never saw the outside anymore. Always wearing long sleeves to hide her arm, stomach and wrists, and sunglasses to cover her eye. She hadn't even seen herself in over a year. She refused to look. Her body…her other source of pride was even lost to her. Destroyed by EVA. She was pale, and a mess. She, who had always had a reason to live, was left with nothing. But that IDIOT SHINJI…that DAMN boy who was NOTHING was EVERYTHING! He led NERV from the shadows, took control of his life. He loved her, and never said a word. HER! Worthless little broken Asuka. A doll with the stuffing ripped out. WHY! She hated him…she loved him…she hated herself…and he loved her…she was nothing, but he was everything. He was everything she always wanted him to be, and now she couldn't take it. She lost everything, and now sat in the dark, unable to sleep, and unable to hold back the torrent of tears anymore. Oh, how she hoped Shinji was asleep.
The boy walked down the hall clad in dark boxers. He didn't care. She'd call him a pervert no matter what he was wearing. He stood outside her door listening to the sobs which must be wracking her entire body. He slid open the door so it made no sound. It had been a dark night, and no light would shine in from behind him as he entered the room and shut the door. He couldn't see her, and could only move forward slowly towards the sound of her sobs, his heart breaking with every step. He was standing right over her, and she hadn't noticed him…until he sat down next to her and put his arms around her.
She tried to scream at first, but her voice held behind another sob. "Shhhhh, Asuka…it's alright…it's me. Please…just listen. I know how you don't want me to be here. You don't want me to see you like this, to see you when you think you're weak. I don't care. You have more strength in you than you know. If it hadn't been for your strength in the past I wouldn't be here today. I want you to know that I don't care if you are like this. I want to be there for you. Everyone needs help sometimes and it's ok. I know everyone you loved was taken from you, but the same happened to me. But where I became withdrawn you worked harder than anyone to be independent. It's your determination that drove me to do the same after third impact. While you may feel you lost everything…I want to be something for you. I want to be your strength. You have so much to live for! You hide yourself in here, under layers of clothes and sunglasses, but you can't hide your beauty, because it comes from your heart. I…I need you to…I need you…I…I…."
'WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE! What is he babbling about?' She started listening to him…and didn't notice that she had stopped sobbing. She listened for once…quiet and intently. She had nothing else anyways, right? He talked about her strength and his admiration, how she helped him. He spoke of their commonality. She was worthless and he was spouting all this fluff about her being great! She couldn't even stop those damn MP EVAs from killing her! He's spouting on about her beauty in her heart! How can he say that after how she's treated him! 'He needs me…? HAH! I..I…I WHAT! Spit it out dumbass! No…no…wait…he's NOT going…he. I mean…I KNOW he feels something for me…I don't know why…but he…he can't…. SHIT…he's going to say it…and I know he would mean it…don't…NO DON'T SAY YOU….'
"Love you, Asuka."
"NO!" Asuka practically screamed at him as she pushed him off the bed. She was fully intending on getting up and beating the "love" out of him until he left. He couldn't…he shouldn't! She wasn't worth it! He beat her to it, and before she could stand up he pushed her back down on the bed and sat with her.
"No…? No? You think you can just tell me NO! Like you can tell me how I feel about you! Well I'm sorry. You can tell me 'no' all you want but guess what. I love you and I care for you, and DAMNIT I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME!"
"Why? Why the FUCK should I bare my soul to the FUCKING INVINCIBLE Shinji Ikari?"
"What are you deaf and dumb? I said I LOVE YOU!"
"You don't know what love is. You just want me for…"
"For what? For your body? Hell Asuka, you haven't worn anything but sweats and sunglasses for almost three years! Nobody ever comes in here except you, me, Misato, and maybe Hikari! You know what? Half the time I'm here in the apartment alone with you because Misato's gone…if I was after your body, don't you suppose I could have TAKEN IT! I know you've noticed I'm no wimp anymore! I've seen you look at me!"
Shinji reached over and turned on her bedside lamp and Asuka darted under the covers. He gently pulled them back down. She didn't have a chance to grab her sunglasses and now he was staring into her eyes. Her beautiful, two, deep, blue eyes. Fear washed over her as she saw him stare into her eyes. 'He can see them…now I know he'll never want to look at me again!' Her thoughts began running amok again, and tears welled up in her eyes again at the thought of loosing him. At least they did until she noticed the smile creep up on his face. 'What the hell is he smiling about?' she wondered.
"Asuka, do you trust me?"
"What?"
"Do you trust me?"
"I guess…" she said with a bit of confusion and doubt.
"Stay here, and wait…I'll be right back," he said as he grabbed her sunglasses and left the room.
'Ok, that was weird. What was he smiling about? Forget that…he said he loved me…LOVED ME! How? Why? ARRRGHH! I am SO confused right now. What the HELL can he be doing and why did he take my glasses? What am I supposed to do about all of this? Fall in his arms and confess my love? I can't do that…even if I know I want to. I'm not worth anything, and who would want to be seen with a FREAK like me?'
Shinji came back in the room with something held behind his back and Asuka couldn't figure out the look on his face.
"Close your eyes."
'Great…he took my glasses and now he can't stand to look me in the eyes.' Asuka thought as tears began forming again. Nevertheless she closed them as he sat back down with a strange smile on his face again. She felt the weight shift on the bed and suddenly felt something soft and warm press up against her cheeks where her tears had been. She opened her eyes only to find two bright blue orbs framed in red hair staring back at her. It was a mirror! It was her eyes! And they were both back to being bright blue! She drew the mirror off to the side to see Shinji sitting behind it with a bright smile on his face as he took in her beauty again for the first time in almost three years. She stared into his eyes. No disgust, no shame, only happiness for her. Without any thought to her fears and doubts she threw herself forward and her arms around Shinji and cried happily into his chest. Then she did something she thought she would never get to do, even in her dreams. She bent upwards and kissed Shinji. It wasn't fast, and it wasn't slow. It wasn't full of lustful passion, nor was it a passing kiss. It was a connection. It was her walls coming down as she accepted his words, his embrace and his love. He wrapped his arms around her back and held her. When she pulled back and rested her head against his chest once again he cradled her in one arm and stroked her hair with the other.
"I'm not going to leave you, you know. And I'm not after your looks…I didn't even know about your eyes until just now…and I never cared. Who you are deep down, hurt and scared, or proud and vibrant…I love you, and nothing could happen that could take that away."
She was happy. It had been three years…more than that actually. More than she could remember. And at that, she wasn't sure she had ever been happy like this. Right here…in his arms, being held, being told she meant something. Knowing she meant more than her ability to pilot EVA. That was enough. "I know. Shinji…I'm sorry for the way I treated you. Before third impact I was a bitch and I was stuck up on myself. I was afraid if I relied on someone, they would hurt me. After third impact, I pushed everyone away because I thought I was worthless and a burden to them. But I pushed you away because I realized what you meant to me, and I couldn't burden you with what I had become, nor could I come to apologize for my past. For what it's worth…I love you too, Shinji. I have for a long time and it scared me." Asuka finished speaking but was still staring up into Shinji's eyes. The naked honesty in her voice and the look in her eye as she locked her gaze with his told him things would never be the same from that moment on.
He looked at the clock. He had been with her for four hours. They had shared their hearts and their warmth with each other. He held her and looked at her sleeping form. Soon he would have to get up, and begin a new day. He held in his heart that it would continue this new beginning, and with the daylight, Asuka could begin again too…and bring herself back to the outside world, to be with him and their friends. To put the past behind her as he had learned to do. They would move on, and find what is worth living for, worth pursuing, and strive to live for that each day. He had found her, and he had hoped that she had found him. Hopefully, in each other, they would find a life and love and happiness. Maybe…tomorrow would be the beginning of putting their "family" back together.
: The next morning :
Misato woke up, early for once. Normally, she would have been woken up by Asuka yelling at Shinji, or the smell of Shinji cooking breakfast. Being that neither was happening she assumed that something may be wrong, and despite her typical attitude recently she cared deeply for her two charges and decided she should investigate. Clad in a loose shirt, panties, and a 9mm handgun, she left her room to explore the apartment.
Asuka's door was closed…no big surprise there. It was a Sunday, and no surprise that the young reclusive German girl would still be in her room. Shinji's door however was open. 'Ok, so he's out…probably getting groceries…wait…those are his shoes…. Which means he's either still here, was taken out, or bought new shoes….' Granted it had been three years since the angel wars had ended, but she hadn't been the tactical director of NERV for nothing! She checked the front door and balcony. 'Still locked…no forced entry. Bathroom's empty too…' She checked Shinji's room just to be sure, but found it empty as well. 'Well, maybe he did buy new shoes, he must have gone out. The only other place in here is my room and Asuka's room. I know he wasn't in mine, and if he was in hers…well…he'd already be dead.' Just as she was passing back in front of Asuka's room to head back to bed Asuka's door opened to reveal the boy in question…well, with his luck, he stepped around the corner still half asleep and face planted himself in Misato's chest.
As it was, in his half dead state he reached up to push off of the offending roadblock and found the surface to be rather warm and soft.
"Well, Mr. Ikari…given your previous location, the fact you're still breathing, and your current predicament, I'd say your either the luckiest man alive, or we're about to experience fourth impact!"
"Mim fowwy Mifato…I autta pee…can eww teze meah aiter?" (A/N: Not sure that's what it would sound like, sorry. I don't have a lot of experience talking with my head planted in the middle of a well-endowed woman. I'm usually a bit too busy to talk ;) )
"Um…ok?" 'When did he get THAT much spine?'
Shinji lumbered off to the bathroom and Misato ducked her head into Asuka's room to see her sleeping peacefully.
"Damn…it's days like this I could really use a good beer," Misato said as she put her gun away and headed back to bed.