"Talking"
'Thinking
Stressed
Memories
Present
Everything has a beginning, but it's hard to find when things start. The easiest thing to find is an ending, because it's easy to tell where something ends. Sometimes, the ending makes for a good beginning. She could tell exactly where it began, it began at his ending. It began the moment she decided to be human and take pity upon something. It also ended the moment she visited the grave, his grave.
Event 1
Gaz could see him from her spot on top of the school roof. Her brother Dib had given up trying to spy and endZim's quest for world domination. He had finally realized that spying upon an alien that was alien to his own race was useless she remembered the words Dib spoke. The incident had happened in the halls of their high school a few days ago. Dib had taunted Zim about something and something had changed.
"What's a matter now Zim?" Dib taunted as his brown eyes filled with mirth. "Your Tallest not taking your calls anymore?"
Just gazing at him from the roof reminded her of how angered…defeated he looked.
"Silence you pathetic human!" Zim had hissed, his fake violet eyes filled with rage. "My Tallest are busy!"
The answer Dib had received shocked him to no end. He didn't really think that the Tallest wouldn't answer. She sighed as she continued to gaze at Zim's form. He was sitting on the bleachers gazing at the humans playing on teams. High school had been cruel to him, life had been cruel to him.
"So Zim," Dib smugly said. "Your rulers finally decide that you're too defective to keep around?"
Gaz closed her own eyes as she watched the memory play out in her mind. Zim had attacked Dib. He removed his gloves and those long skinny fingers with claws had gone for her brother's face. Dib had barely avoided the attack; he now had a nice scar going across his right eyebrow for the comment. He had managed to soak Zim in the water fountain.
"You're pathetic Zim…you can't even get along with your own race…you'll never be accepted or normal," Dib replied as he sadly looked upon the alien.
Dib had just walked off leaving Zim to gaze into the air. She had watched as he stood and walked away looking even deader than before. Gaz believed that reality burned worse than the water.
Gaz stood up on the roof and sighed again. Her emotions were beginning to cloud everything in her life. She quickly climbed down the fire escape and walked toward the bleachers. Her thick black boots crushed the grass as her purple dressed swayed in the wind. She ran a pale hand through her short violet hair and wondered what she was doing. It wasn't like her to pity anything in life. She approached Zim and stood at the end of the bleachers watching him. She followed his gaze and slightly frowned a bit more.
"Why do you wish to be like them?" Gaz replied as she stared into the field.
The humans in the field were playing soccer. They were congratulating each other as they worked as a team. Her eyes turned back to Zim and she swore she saw a flicker of jealousy within his eyes.
"It's not like you," Gaz replied as her amber eyes narrowed. He gazed at her now. "It's not like you to be envious."
Gaz could hear his scoff as he turned his gaze from her. He glared at those playing soccer. Gaz pulled herself up onto the bleachers and watched the game next to him in silence.
"I envy nothing," Zim softly hissed without looking at her.
Event 2
Gaz had been watching him for weeks on end. It seemed as if her brother's childhood obsession had rubbed off on her. Zim wandered the halls of high school apathetically. He was a shadow of his past self. His self-confidence was gone, his ego had vanished, his pride in the Irken race had vanished, and nothing was left. She had once again approached him during lunch. He no longer bothered pretending to eat or drink human food. Zim just sat there staring at the groups, looking more envious by the minutes.
"Zim," Gaz softly said as she sat at his lonesome table.
He didn't bother looking at her as she began to set up her packed lunch. Gaz didn't bother to say anything more to him.
"I am normal," Zim softly said as he watched the lunchroom clear. All he could see were friends talking with friends, he could see acceptance.
Gaz frowned at this and realized that his statement sounded truer than he made it sound.
Event 3
They were in their sophomore year of high school and she silently sat with him at lunchsince freshman year. Each day he would chance a glance at her without caring if she noticed. Gaz soon began to notice that he was watching her as she once watched him. She always noticed that he expected her company and in some way, relied on her to be there. During gym, she sat with him on the bleachers once more. They watched the tennis players form teams. That's when she heard him sigh.
"Why do you follow Zim?" Zim questioned, his voice was low, almost normal.
Gaz raised an eyebrow at the question and asked, "What are you jealous of?"
She watched his hands form in fists and grip his black invader slacks. Zim glared at her and loudly growled. He reached up, pulled the contacts from his eyes, and ripped the wig from his head. Gaz looked over to the humans and saw that they were oblivious to everything.
"I am Irken and yet my own race disowns me!" Zim spat.
She could see the anger within his crimson eyes. Gaz sadly smirked at this, he acted the same wayDib had done through his childhood. He tried to pursue something just to be accepted and yet, he could never be accepted.
"They left you for dead here," Gaz stated more than asked.
"They haven't answered my calls in two years," Zim growled as he stood up.
"What a shame…after all you've done for them," Gaz mocked as she kept her gaze on the humans.
"Since I was a smeet it was my dream to become the greatest within my empire! I wanted to prove to them that I am notdefective…that I…" Zim trailed off with a dazed look.
"That you what Zim?" Gaz challenged with a laugh. "That you belong…that you're just like them…normal?"
He tensed and jumped from the bleachers. She watched as he began to walk away from the school grounds. Gaz frowned at this and shrugged, she figured she hit a sore spot.
Event 4
The hardest thing to fix is broken soul. Sometimes those pieces can't fit back together; sometimes they can neverfit together. He hadn't shown up to school for the rest of the year and most people didn't think twice about him. Gaz still sat at the same table, but people had left Zim's spot empty. She had chosen to go over to his house in hopes of finding out if he was still active or not.
The lawn gnomes didn't move with her movement, they were just ugly gnomes now. She pressed the doorbell and received no answer. Gaz growled and kicked the door in like she had done many times in the past. Her amber eyes searched the darkened house before she took a step inside. The roboparents were nothing but parts strewn across the floor. She stepped over the pieces and noticed Gir sitting on the couch. The TV was off and his blue eyes were a dull black. Gaz also noticed that he was positioned to watch the TV.
"Zim!" Gaz called out.
Her voice echoed lost in the darkness. Gaz took one last look at Gir before she walked on. She figured that she would find something within the darkness. She walked into the kitchen and turned to where the hallway would be.
"What are you doing here?"
Her eyes squinted as she tried to find the owner of the voice within the darkness. Gaz quickly looked up and could see the crimson of his eyes reflecting at her.
"You haven't been at school," Gaz simply replied.
Zim landed on the ground with a squeak and she could hear his robotic legs reenter his PAK. He dryly laughed at her before he turned and walked down the hall. Gaz followed him, her boots squeaked against the floor.
"Why do you care?" Zim questioned.
"Pff…I don't," Gaz replied.
Zim's eyes narrowed, but not in anger as he turned into a room. Gaz followed him and he quickly switched a light on. She closed her eyes and slowly opened them as she adjusted to the light. Her pupils widened in shock, this was Zim's room. She found it pretty upsetting. There was nothing in here but a monitor to contact the Tallest and different machines to work on whatever scheme he had done in the past.
"You still follow," Zim mumbled.
"So do you," Gaz mumbled as she poked at a pink rabbit on the table.
Zim frowned at this and marched over to the monitor on the wall. His hands gripped it and he ripped it from the wall. It exploded as it shattered upon the floor. Gaz didn't jump, but she did stare at him like he was stupid.
"Why did you shut Gir off?" Gaz questioned over the popping sparks of the monitor.
"He wouldn't leave me alone," Zim growled.
"The one thing that wants you…accepts you and you turn it off," Gaz mumbled. "Isn't that ironic?"
Gaz walked out of the room with a soft laugh. Zim glared at her retreating form as his antennae stood up. They quickly fell and he fell to his rear as he heard her laugh echo in his head.
"Isn't that Ironic?"
Event 5
Zim had not returned to school and she had graduated. Dib had even forgotten about Zim. Gaz once again entered his house and found that as days passed it was decaying faster and faster. She saw him sitting in the middle of the room out of disguise. His eyes were glazed and he was staring into space. He looked moresickly and thinner than usual. His skin was also lighter, an unnatural shade of green.
"Zim?" Gaz questioned as she approached.
"Why do you keep coming back?" Zim questioned, he didn't move, not even blink.
Gaz froze in her steps. She didn't know why she came back. There was no reason to why she would visit him weekly. She kneeled in front of him and offered him a stare. Gaz wondered if he was going blind because he didn't move or acknowledge her.
"I do what I want," Gaz softly replied.
"I see…well…not anymore," Zim replied before he began to laugh.
Gaz frowned at this and leaned in closer to him. His eyes were dull and he made no move to push her away. She sighed and sat next to him.
"You're blind?" Gaz questioned.
"My optical implants have malfunctioned," Zim happily explained. She wondered if he was happy to be blind, this way he couldn't watch those with friends, those whom he thought of as normal.
"Are you going to fix them?" Gaz questioned with a confused look.
"No."
She knew it was simple answer. It was strange that the answer seemed so serious. She swore it sounded like he had given up living.
"Will you kill yourself?" Gaz questioned.
Zim remained silent before he replied, "Kill myself…that would just make me a bigger failure."
Gaz nodded, she now understood everything. She saw why he looked upon others with envy. It saddened her in a way. Her eyes looked up the Irken and she shook her head.
"I've failed at everything," Zim angrily growled.
A spark flew from his PAK and she raised an eyebrow.
"The Tallest stopped answering my calls. They answered one, that was to tell me that I'll never be apart of the Empire, that I will never be accepted."
Gaz's eyes widened, it was like one of those last confessions you get from a man on his deathbed. A few more sparks flew from his PAK and her eyebrows furrowed.
"I tried to fit in with the Irkens…I failed…I tried to fit in on Earth and that failed…I've failed at everything," Zim growled.
She watched as he twitched. His PAK was malfunctioning and they both knew it. It was only a matter of minutes before it fully shut down. He fell to his side and that's when she heard another growl come from him. Gaz shook her head and glared at him. He tried so hard to be something that he was not and it amazed her.
"I'm normal…I'm normal…leave me alone!" Zim growled.
Gaz softly laughed at him and noticed the lights on his PAK dim. She reached out and ran her hands across his antennae and he twitched again.
"You're normal Zim," Gaz assured. "You want to be accepted and that is normal…you're normal in the worst way possible."
His antennae rose bit in slight question and Gaz smirked.
"You want to be something you're not and that makes you normal in the worst way possible," Gaz replied.
She could feel as his shell died. It just slumped and lost all warmth to it. Gaz stood up and kept her face blank as she gazed at him. She walked into the kitchen and turned on the burners making sure to blow out the flames. Gaz then walked into the living room and sat next to Gir. She closed her eyes and sighed, this whole thing was depressing her more than normal. Her nose twitched and she knew that the house had filled with enough gas. She picked up Gir's form and walked out of the housed. She opened Gir's head and pulled out a lighter.
"How convenient," she mumbled as she turned it on and threw it into the house.
Gaz ran into the street and fell to the ground as the house exploded. The flames caught on the neighbor's houses, but she didn't care. She watched a part of her childhood burn as she sat in the street. Gaz looked to the flames and stood up before she walked away. Gir's body hung limp in her grip as she walked on.
Present
"I wanna taco…"
Gaz sighed as she looked to the Sir unit that was disguised as a dog. Her eyes strayed back to the ashes she stood on and she sighed. She couldn't find a beginning, but she had found an ending to the story.
"Let's go to Bloaty's," Gaz replied. She picked up Gir's leash and noticed the Sir Unit staring at the ashes.
Gaz couldn't help but stare at the ashes again. She knew that Gir had been upset, but he hid it behind his stupidity and smiles. She tugged on his leash and they began to walk away. Gir looked up to Gaz and she raised an eyebrow.
"Do you think Master's normal?" Gir questioned.
Gaz remained silent as they kept walking and Gir looked on ahead.
"Yeah Gir, he's normal," Gaz assured.
"Yay! I want a large Classic Poop!" Gir cheered as he bounced ahead of her.
Author's Notes:
Edited: 5/21/06
No clue where this came from. I was just thinking of all the times Zim tried to act normal or claimed he was normal on Earth. I was also thinking about how all he's ever done was try and be greatest and it just seemed to me that he wanted to be accepted, to want is to be normal
Aw well, this probably has no point, but I need to jumpstart my brain in order to prepare for the ending of Xenophobia!
Please review!