Ok this is a parody fic of fan-fictions because I'm really bored right now.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.
It was the first day of 7th year and Ron, Harry, and Hermione aren't looking for the Horcruxes because the authors want them to go to back to school.
Now this is the part that the author has to describe what they look like.
Hermione is stunningly beautiful now and has curves "in all the right places". Has ruler strait hair thanks to the straitaner, which wasn't even popular in the 90's. She is also wearing a super mini skirt that it could be mistaken for underwear, and she also has on a super mini tight shirt, which is also mistaken for a bra.
Ron and Harry seem to have the exact same body type. Muscular and tall. Thanks to Quiddich as all the writers like to say.
As they get on the train they find a compartment and Ron and Harry are drooling over Hermione. And Hermione looking in a mirror drooling over herself because writers now want her to be stupid and a ditz.
Then Draco came in and was about to insult them then he saw Hermione and looked they looked at each other.
This is the part that the author gets to describe him!
Well he stopped gelling his hair and now his hair covered his eyes so he was semi blind now. Then he also is tall and muscular like every other guy at Hogwarts.
Then they started making out and they became a couple.
Then Ginny came into the compartment and saw Harry and they instantly fell in love and started making out.
Then Ron was just sitting there.
"You know what im going to leave and never be mentioned in this fan-fic like every other one." Said Ron as he went to the really crowded compartment of the never used characters.
Then both of the couples realized they don't really love each other and then Hermione and Harry started making out and Draco and Ginny started making out.
Then they got to Hogwarts and the first years got sorted.
Then Dumblore (who is DEAD) made a speech.
"AHHH IT'S THE GHOST OF DUMBLEDOR!" Yelled a random student.
Then a random girl walked in.
"Oh my gosh she isn't a first year she's so stunningly beautiful to be one." Said Ron who snuck back into the fic.
This is the part that I the author get to describe her.
She had beautiful blue eyes. She had long Blonde hair. And she had curves in all the right places.. just like every other girl at Hogwarts.
"Could it be its an American Exchange student!" yelled Dean who made his only appearance in this fic.
Then Harry dumped Hermione and started making out with the American exchange student.
"I'm all alone. Harry dumped me for the American slut." (a/n im not American FYI)
Then Ron started making out with Hermione because that's who she is really supposed to be with and then they had kids and lived happily ever after.
Then Draco got incredibly jealous that Harry got the American and then they fought over her.
Then they accidentally killer her.
Then Hermione dumped Ron for Draco and made him live with all 12 kids they had.
Then Harry got with Ron and they lived happily ever after.
As Hermione and Draco were making out all of a sudden and time turner sent her the maurderers time.
She saw Severus Snape and instantly loved him. Then she saw Sirius Black then dumped him. Then she saw Remus Lupin and instantly loved him. Then dumped Sirius.
Then she stayed with him the whole fic and never tried to go back to her time.
Then she became friends with Lily and they had a Random dance thing because the authors wants a new excuse to describe the characters again.
When they were dressed they walked down the stairs.
This is where I get to describe them YAY!
Lily was wearing a super tight green strapless dress because that's what they really wore in the 70's..
Ginny came to the past to save Hermione but then fell in love with Sirius. She was wearing a super tight curve showing and it went to her mid thigh because in fic's she's usually the slut.
Then Hermione came in a breath taking dress. It fit perfectly and showed all her curves and her hair was in a bun with some of her hair coming out because writers really like that look.
Then the dance started and everyone danced then a Muggle American Song came on and it was also from 2006. Even though those songs don't exist yet. And it was slow then Harry came up out of nowhere and asked Ginny dance and because she such a slut she said yes. Then Ron came out of nowhere and asked Hermione and because she's now a ditzy blonde (no offense to blondes) she said yes.
Then this is the part that the lyrics come on and no one actually reads it. (read mine though because it's a made up one)
I've always loved you with all my heart and stuff and I hope that one day Ginny wont be a slut anymore and that she will only love me! Blah blah blah blah.. nananana nenenenen…
"oh my gosh Harry this song reminds me of us." Said Ginny!
Oh Hermione can you become that no it all bookworms again because we still have to find the Horcruxes and destroy he-who-must-not-be-named.
"Do buffalo have wings?" said Hermione
Then out of nowhere they were back in there regular time then Voldemort came into the room and started killing everyone.
Then a girl walked in.
YAY more describing.
She had beautiful long black hair. Red eyes. And had curves in all the right places.
"oh my god forget about Voldemort she's hott. Bye Ginny." Said Harry as he ran to the girl and started making out with her.
Then the girl pushed him off.
"Harry im Voldemorts Daughter and I hate him will you help me kill him?" she said
"Ok as long as I get to make-out with you and other stuff ;)" said harry
Then Dumbledore came out.
"I thought I killed you!" said Draco.
"NO YOU DIDN'T I DID YOU SPOILED LITTLE BRAT!" said Snape.
"Well I came back to life! Duh have you ever heard of the spelled called comebacktolife!" said Dumbledore in a girly voice.
"Uhhh" then Voldemort ran away.
Harry finally decided to go look for the Horcruxes and he found them all. Under his bed.. who knew?
Then he destroyed them and went to look for Voldemort.
As he walked out to the hallway he saw Hermione and Snape making out!
"AHH MY EYES!" scream Harry.
"Oh Harry its ok in fan fics me and Snape end up together silly" said Hermione.
"Oh ok continue I found all the Horcruxes and now im going to kill Voldemort." Said Harry
Then he left the Castle and his luck he saw Voldemort next to a tree reading a book.
So he snuck behind him and killed him with a new spell he made up!
Its called…. ThisWillKillVoldemortAndComeBackToLifeWontBringHimBackToLife!
Then everyone in the Wizarding World his happy now.
Harry and Voldemorts Daughter got it going on ;)
(insert sex scene)
Hermione and Snape got married and Snape got Pregnant (seriously found some fics with him pregnant)
And Draco and Ginny got together and since she's a slut she dumped him because he gave bad sex. So she then went to Seamus and got married.
The End