Oookay so thanks you soooo much for all the reviews! I seriously love you guys! But now it's time for some excuses: Libby was a little OOC in the first one, but there's a reason, and almost all of you have figured it out. It actually renders a great chunk of this chapter unnecessary… Anyways, for this one, there's no excuse for OOCness so you can call me out on it if you feel so inclined.

I had someone ask me a few questions in a private message, and to answer it for everyone's benefit: what inspired this fic? I went to a funeral of the mom of a girl I know and it was just… so sad. I cried through like the whole thing. .

Leave it to me to take a really sad experience for this family and turn it into a JN fanfic. Oh and it also reminded me of Angel's funeral in RENT, which almost always makes me cry. (And yes the title of this fanfic is based on the song from RENT, in case no one got that)

So, enough of my rambling. Go read.

There was utter silence. Jimmy squinted into the darkness trying to figure out where he was. His first thought was that he had been pushed down on the ground in the graveyard. When he inhaled, however, he sensed the space above him and fresh air instead of the musty scent of the ground he had been expecting. He had a sense of fleeting panic… and he could make out the outline of pipes on the ceiling… which told him more than anything he definitely was not in the graveyard. He looked around more anxiously, his eyes finally adjusting to the darkness.

He was in his lab. How many hours since the funeral had it been? How had he gotten to the lab? He looked down. He was wearing a lab coat, his regular atom symbol t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Where was his suit? He specifically remembered wearing a suit to Cindy's funeral... speaking of his clothes; they were covered in perspiration. Jimmy raised his hand and felt his face, which was covered in a chilled, salty combination of cold sweat and tears.

This brought his mind back to… Cindy… He stood up slowly and walked to a table over on the side, moved a few things aside and lifted up a small picture of a smiling Cindy. This was from happier times… when she was alive and well. Jimmy hugged the picture in its frame briefly, before staring at it until his eyes practically burned from focusing on her every feature, concentrating as if he knew that if he stared hard enough, she would be alive again.

A long while later, Jimmy emerged from the clubhouse door, blinking rapidly in the dazzling sunshine so sharply in contrast to the quiet darkness of the lab.

He saw the pink house that used to be Cindy's and the empty room that she used to occupy. Cindy's dad was out front, mowing the lawn, singing cheerily over the noise of the mower.

Jimmy frowned. How could he be so upbeat when his daughter had just died 3 days ago? Turning towards the park, Jimmy walked up the street with his head down, images of Cindy swirling around in his head. He found himself walking through the park, by the fountain, where the two had first met. He gave a sad smile. He certainly hadn't known when he met her there years ago how much that bossy blonde girl with the pigtails would come to change his life, and how much he would come to love her.

He kept going, staring down to the pavement underneath his feet. He saw the pink shoes and heard the warning voice too late, and there was a collision after which Jimmy found himself lying on the pathway, the wind knocked out of him.

"Uhh," his crash partner groaned from a few inches to his right, "Watch where you're going, Nerd-tron."

The familiarity of this voice and this nickname caused Jimmy to completely stop breathing for what felt like a minute.

He sat up slowly and all of the pieces fell into place in his head instantly. He stared at her, feeling transfixed, confused, alarmed, relieved, and frightened, all at the same time.

His mouth was open as he gazed and reasoned the whole situation out loud.

"It was all a dream!" he explained excitedly as she dusted herself off irritably on the pavement, "That's why Libby changed her dress and I had no memory and I was always places without knowing how I got there… and the singing people and the messed up time and the grave…"

Cindy Vortex stared at him, with a mixed look of confusion and anger, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Jimmy looked at her as if he had just realized she was there, though he obviously had not, "I have a highly developed brain," he stated (not in a bragging way), "So I have a highly developed subconscious and very complicated dreams," he shifted his position on the ground as Cindy watched him, "I often have flashbacks during them, highly developed story lines, and …I often mistake them for reality."

Cindy shook her head, still quite confused, "This obviously has nothing to do with me or anything I care about," she chided, somewhat jokingly, "And I'm meeting Nick at my house in ten minutes… I'm just gonna go," she started to get up off the concrete walkway when he immediately reacted.

"No!" he practically shouted; his anxiety at her words rooted her to the spot. He calmed down and said quietly, "this has everything to do with you,"

Despite herself, Cindy was intrigued, "Go on," she started, looking apprehensively into his deep blue eyes. Her pulse quickened as she watched him try to gather his words.

He looked back into her eyes for the first time, taking a deep breath, "Where should I start?" Cindy rolled her eyes somewhat, still listening intently, "You remember that fight you and I got into yesterday?" her eyes flashed and to stop her from retorting Jimmy continued hurriedly, "I take that as a yes."

He stood up, offered his hand to Cindy to help her up, walked to the side of the fountain, and he sat down on its edge. Cindy followed him to the fountain, but not before she began mentally debating the merits of just walking away and continuing her trip home.

He buried his face in his hands for a moment. He was half ecstatic, still dealing with the knowledge that Cindy was alive and well. The other half of him was extremely apprehensive, because the voice in the back of his head poked at him annoyingly, urging him to take a drastic action he knew he must now take…

"Well, I guess I felt kinda bad about that fight or maybe my brain was trying to tell me something… maybe, this whole thing with Nick has made me feel like I'm losing you, and I guess in this dream I actually did lose you," (this prompted Cindy to think 'lose me? since when did you ever have me?), "but I had an extremely vivid dream last night. I guess you could call it a lucid dream, because I had complete control over my actions, and a lucid dream is clearly defined as-" Cindy held up her hand to stop him from reciting in his textbook-like manner, so he moved on, smiling inwardly at her intelligence, "But when the dream started, I knew exactly where I was. I was at a funeral," He looked down from her face awkwardly, "Your funeral."

There was a momentary pause, "You had a dream that I had died."

"Yes."

"And then you went to my funeral. Is that what you're telling me?"

Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "That's a fairly accurate summary, yes."

She got up to leave.

"No!" he shouted again, this time physically pulling her back instead of mentally, she glared at him and he let go of her arm as if it had burned him before continuing, "It was a big funeral," he started to tell the story again, hoping to make her stay, "Lots of people - hundreds."

"Oh, well it's good to know I'm very popular at your dream-funerals," she muttered dryly.

Jimmy continued, unfazed, "I was a wreck, Cindy,"

"What?" she stopped smiling and cocked her head to the side.

"My hands were shaking, I couldn't breathe, I …cried. I don't normally cry... And who would have ever thought I would be crying for you?" His stab at humor failed, and he continued, but not before examining Cindy's face. She appeared to be listening, though she looked like she had no idea what to do with the information. Jimmy decided he had made it too far to stop his confession, so he eventually continued his fractured statement, "And that was just the outward manifestation of my grief. I was completely broken inside."

"It was just a dream, Neutron," Cindy finally countered, a little bit alarmed.

"But I didn't know that," Jimmy took her left hand in both of his, desperately, and Cindy looked down, even more surprised at the gesture, "I thought you were really dead. And it made me think…" He dropped her hand and got up, pacing in front of the fountain and the wide-eyed blonde, "Everyone was getting up to say things about you, and then it was my turn. I got up… and I made a confession. I revealed the biggest secret of my life to hundreds of people and I didn't even care," he stopped pacing and stared past Cindy down into the clear water pensively.

"What did you tell them?" Cindy asked curiously and uneasily, so quietly it was barely audible.

"…I didn't care because the one person that it would have mattered to the most, and the one person I cared to know it… was gone."

"What did you tell them?" she repeated, with the same undertones, though a little louder. Her eyes never left his face, though his gaze had not yet moved to hers.

"Have you ever regretted something so much it hurt to live in the moments that followed? That's how I felt. It was the worst feeling," he shuddered, despite the warmth of the morning sun beating down on his arms and neck, "and I can't live with it any more. Since I've woken up I don't have to. The dream made me realize that time is precious, and can be taken away at any time. If we don't make the best of what we have, when time runs out, we'll have accomplished absolutely nothing."

"Very profound. What did you tell them?"

Deaf to her repeated inquiry, Jimmy kept going, "The dream made me see what I really felt inside without you being there. It made me evaluate a world without you in it. It exposed my feelings and put them into words for me. Until last night I don't even think I knew how I felt. And now I do. That's what I told them."

Cindy stared, and finally spoke, needing to hear him say something consequential, "Specifically, what did you tell them?" she was angry now, and she was feeling increasingly uncomfortable; she wanted him to get it over with, "Out with it, Neutron."

"It's just…" Jimmy sat back down on the fountain's edge. Finally looking back into her eyes, he stiffened his resolve and finally uttered that fatal sentence, shaking his head disbelievingly and apologetically as he spoke, "…I'm in love with you."

Cindy froze. She realized she had been waiting to hear him say this for a long time now. But now that he'd finally said it, she found she couldn't handle it. She still wasn't ready with a response. His timing could not have been worse.

"I always have been." He continued, measuring her response sadly. She hadn't moved.

Her brain was in panic mode. Five minutes ago she had been the girlfriend of the coolest guy in town, with no problems but for a secret love… but now that secret love was revealing itself and… helplessness was overwhelming her. The fact that she felt helpless scared her the most. Cindy Vortex and helpless didn't work well together. Looking back at the moment, of all the possible ways to respond, she probably took the worst one of all.

"You're… what? What are you taking about?" Cindy spoke defensively, looking back at him with a look that Jimmy couldn't quite place in an emotional category.

"I just needed you to know," he said quietly, though not pleadingly, "That way I can stop regretting not having told you."

Cindy shook her head in denial, "We're not even… friends, Neutron. We're enemies," Jimmy looked at her sadly, as the use of his surname rung in his ears. It was a bad sign

In desperation, he continued, "Only on the surface we are," he argued, "at least for me. I can't speak for your feelings, of course. But… I love you, Cindy. And I don't even just want to be friends… I want to be more. I love-"

"I… can't deal with this right now…" Cindy interrupted, and she got up to walk away before she stopped, "Why did you just say that? It ruined everything… like Nick and me… everything was going fine before."

"Not for me," Jimmy took a step toward her, "I was dying inside, Cindy. I had to tell you… I'm really sorry if this is hard for you to hear right now," his apology, more than anything she'd heard thus far, shocked Cindy. After all these years, she couldn't remember a time when she had heard James Isaac Neutron say, I'm sorry. He broke her train of thought"… but, Cindy…"

"Stop saying my name," she cut in quietly, and Jimmy felt all hope leave his body at that instant. Any buoyant, hopeful thought that remained was blown away by the icy chill of her voice as she uttered that command.

"I'm sorry if I misinterpreted things. I obviously did…" Jimmy practically whispered back, "I was just taking my own advice from the dream. That's all I could do. The rest… I guess…" he trailed off as he sat back down on the edge of the fountain and closed his eyes in quiet acceptance, feeling utterly defeated, his mind blank, waiting for her retreating footsteps.

Cindy just stared for a second and walked away as quickly as she could without running back to her house.

------

"When? About three minutes ago," she answered her friend's inquiry on the phone from her darkened entryway as soon as she got home, "Well-" she began, when she was interrupted by Libby again, "I…of course… um, the fountain… What did I say? I didn't know what to say," she paused again as Libby asked her a question that Libby had wondered many times but had never actually asked Cindy directly, "Am I in love with him too?" the longest pause yet occurred as Cindy looked to find the answer. She didn't think it would be so easy but it was, and the answer came out, almost silently, apologetically, "Yeah, I think I am."

There was another lengthy pause, as Libby was speechless on the other line, Cindy opened her mouth to say more when the door behind her shut with a soft click and she nearly dropped the phone, "Libby, I have to go,"

She wiped a tear from her eye quickly and turned around, "Listen, Jimmy…" the rest of her sentence was cut off, never to be finished, by the kiss that had been a long time coming.

Jimmy had his hands placed around the limp Cindy, and after a few seconds he felt her hands on his shoulders and the back of his neck as she began to kiss him back.

After about ten seconds, Cindy felt Jimmy's grip on her loosen, and he pulled back. He opened his eyes after a moment, looking back into hers from mere inches away.

His euphoria at finally having kissed her was gone in an instant, as he saw the ghost of apprehension in her eyes. Slightly amazed at his own boldness, and a bit ashamed, he looked away for a moment, planning on giving her a chance to speak, but his mind forced him to look back.

The look he saw in them he didn't like. It was a look of sadness, and a look of possible regret.

Cindy was torn between two possible reactions. She could either slap him and keep up the façade she'd kept up for so long of not being in love with him, or she could tell him exactly how she felt and put herself on the line as he had earlier.

After seconds of breathless debate, she chose the former, though kept from slapping him, because, however she tried to deny it, she was in love with him, she just… couldn't bring herself to tell him.

Jimmy stared incredulously at her as the silence lengthened and she stared remorsefully back.

He felt all the years of stolen glances, secret thoughts and innocent moments melt away in an instant from the look of unreturned love she gave him right then. She opened her mouth, possibly to speak, when Jimmy shook his head and backed away, releasing her from his embrace.

Her intentions were obvious and Jimmy realized he didn't need to hear her rejection in verbal form. It was already written all over her face. He felt the emotional equivalent of a slow, painful death overtake him as he slowly resigned himself to the truth.

He couldn't keep the hurt off of his face as he backed out the door, hating only himself for falling so far in love, and blaming only himself for the hurt that had been inflicted upon him in the last few moments. Suffer as he might, he couldn't bring himself to hate her, because, well… he loved her.

ORIGINAL ENDING

So, if that didn't satisfy you, (because I tell you, it's not the way I originally ended it,) you can look at this original ending. I felt this particular conclusion was a bit weak, so rewrote it into the one you just read. I just felt the revised one fit more with the tone of the story. (Plus, I got my idea for most of the ending from last week's season finale episode of The Office, and that's how that ended.)

So here's the original. You can take whichever one you want as the real ending.

After about ten seconds, she felt Jimmy's grip on her loosen, and he pulled back, looking into her eyes from mere inches away.

He saw the ghost of apprehension in her eyes. Slightly amazed at his own boldness, and a bit ashamed, he looked away for a moment, planning on giving her a chance to speak, but his mind forced him to look back.

Once she had gotten over her shock, she felt the burden of her secret lifted off her shoulders as she stared back into his blue eyes, for once, feeling free to show the love she had once kept hidden behind hers.

"I love you, too," she whispered as she leaned in to kiss him again.

She felt his lips smile against hers, "I know."

Hmm… What do you think? Which ending do you, the reviewer and my beloved reader, like better? Personally, I don't know which I like more, so I decided to include them both. I feel the first one is better written, and more in character (though the whole chapter is OOC for Jimmy I think, though the dream is supposed to have effected him severely, so he's supposed to be a little OOC), but the J/C shipper in me obviously prefers my original ending. Please let me know, and even if you prefer neither, let me know when you review… Thanks for reading and I really hoped you liked it. If people liked this one…. Maybe I'll write some more. Who knows?

Kle