In Your Eyes
Alternate ending to "Male Code Blue"
Casey stormed up the stairs. She was furious with Sam for listening to Derek's ridiculous "male code," but she was even more angry with Derek. What the hell was he trying to do? What difference did it make to him if she dated Sam?
Downstairs, Sam and Derek continued to stare at each other through narrowed eyes, until Sam decided it was best to go home for the night. He knew Derek and he figured he wouldn't get anywhere until his friend had calmed down. Plus, he was getting really tired of Derek pushing him around. Derek let him go and then retreated to his room.
Casey heard him come up the stairs and came out into the hallway. She walked to Derek's room and shoved Derek's still open door with both hands, causing it to slam against the inside wall.
"What the hell, Casey?" Derek shouted, jumping out of the way.
"I was about to ask you the same thing! What is wrong with you? Do you get some specific sadistic pleasure out of ruining my life?" Casey yelled.
Derek just stood there, not knowing what to say. He had never seen Casey this angry before, and he waited cautiously for her to continue. Instead of attacking him, her face seemed to crumble with exhaustion.
"Derek, I just don't understand. Can't you just let anything go? Why do you have to make it so hard for me?" Unshed tears glistened in her eyes, and she looked at him with a desperate pleading. "I know you're probably just going to laugh at me, but you took it too far this time, Derek. You can't just keep screwing up my life and getting away with it. I know we fight, but I didn't think you actually hated me that much."
Derek pressed his lips tightly together and turned around so that he wasn't facing her. He wanted to tell her that she had it all wrong, that he didn't hate her even the slightest bit. He wanted to tell her that he loved the sparks that flew between them when they were at war, and he loved the flash in her eyes when he made her angry, but he had never wanted to make her this angry. He wanted to scream that she cared so much about him keeping her from Sam, and didn't she know that Sam was completely wrong for her? That he couldn't stand seeing them together even as he stalked around watching them? That she was the most beautiful, stubborn, infuriating, amazing girl he'd ever met and that Sam didn't deserve her?
He took a deep breath and looked back at her. She was leaning against one wall of his room, her head tilted slightly back, her eyes closed. He followed the line of her neck with his gaze for a moment before he spoke.
"I'm sorry, Case, I just thought .. fighting is just what we do. I didn't think you minded so much," he said lamely, not quite sure what to say or reveal.
Casey gave him a small smile. "I don't, it's …" she trailed off, not wanting to use the word "exciting" that traveled across her mind. "It keeps me on my toes," she said instead. "But this was really important to me, and I just feel like you went and messed it up for no reason except to see me unhappy."
Casey turned her eyes away slightly, so he wouldn't see the fear in them. She didn't tell Derek that she had always secretly hoped that their fights were like childish flirtations, like when she was little and the boys who liked her used to grab the scrunchie from her hair and make her chase them around the schoolyard for it. She didn't tell him that this time had pretty much shattered that hope, because it just seemed to be pure malice on his part. She didn't analyze it herself, but Casey was more inclined to believe that Derek was doing it out of hatred than jealousy, never putting much faith in her fantasies. Sam had been a way of moving on. She did really like Sam, though he didn't inspire exactly the same feeling as Derek did - but why waste her time on something she couldn't have?
"If you want to date Sam… if you really want to… then I won't stop you," Derek said slowly.
Casey smiled. "Thankyou." She left the room and went into her own to call Sam.
Derek stood alone in his room, exhaling a breath he'd been holding. For a second when he and Sam were fighting, he thought Sam had known about his feelings for Casey. When it turned out they were only wrestling about the male code, Derek had felt both relieved and heavy at the same time. His secret was still safe … Casey and Sam didn't know.
What would happen now? He wondered. Casey and Sam would date, he would have to see them together at home, in school. He would hear their phone conversations, he would have to listen to Casey's laughter at Sam's jokes, see her smile and the mischief in her eyes directed at someone else. But Casey would be happy…
He slowly removed the picture of Casey from his pocket. Sam had left it on the endtable after talking to Edwin and Derek had picked it up and hid it quickly. He stared at the eyes in the picture, and suddenly thought he had never seen her look at anyone with the energy she showed to him.
And besides, he thought, when have I ever been that selfless?
Casey was just pushing the button on the cordless to hang up. Sam hadn't gotten home yet. She had been thinking to herself that she would be happy with Sam. He was nice and sweet, nothing like Derek. No, not as cute or funny or anything as Derek….
Casey heard a sound outside her door like a stampede, and looked up to see Derek charging through her bedroom door. In one swift move, he grabbed the phone from her hand and threw it across the room, then grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look into his eyes. She'd barely had a moment to react before her breath caught in her throat at the look in Derek's eyes. It was intense, dark, and she was immediately turned on by the strength with which he was holding on to her, both with his hands and stare.
"I lied," he said, his voice low. He leaned down and kissed her forcefully and without warning. Casey struggled against him defiantly, banging her fists against his chest, but he held onto her firmly, because she was still kissing him back. They fell onto the bed, tangled together, wrestling violently.
Casey broke away for a breath. "So did I," she said, before pulling him back down to her angrily.
(Fade out)