Disclaimer: I don't own CL or Whose Line or any of the movie characters I used.
Whose Line is it Anyway?
"Good evening everybody and welcome to 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' On tonight's show, 'I'll have the salmon in a creamy sauce.' Jeremy Belpois!" Says the host as Jeremy blows a kiss into the camera.
" ' I'll have the soup of the day.' Yumi Ishiyama." Yumi points and winks at the camera.
" ' I'll have the steak.' Ulrich Stern." Ulrich lifts an eyebrow.
" And 'I'll have the barf bag.' Odd Della Robbia." Odd stares menacingly at the camera.
"And I'm your host Kevin Narid come on let's have some fun." Kevin walks down to his desk. "Hello and welcome to 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' The show where everything's made and the points don't matter. The points are like whatever words comes out of your wife's mouth. Okay let's get tonight started with a game called 'Press Conference.' In this game Odd is going to be holding a press conference but he doesn't know who he is but Yumi, Jeremy and Ulrich do. They have to give him hints as the press."
(Odd is an astronaut who is about to go up into space.)
"Thank you all for coming. I am willing to accept any questions you may have. Yes you." Says Odd as he points to Ulrich.
"Hi, I'm from the Daily Blah. Will you use any special equipment." Says Ulrich.
"Yes, I'll be using two eggs, a bag of flour, some baking powder and some yeast. Not many people do it like that, but that's how I do. Next question." Says Odd as he points to Yumi.
"I'm from the Crapola Daily. Why did you decide to go?" Said Yumi.
"Well, there was nothing on TV. Next question." Said Odd pointing to Jeremy.
"I'm from Super Dull Daily. What means of transport are you gonna use?"
"I'm using my homemade rubber band car. It's made of a cardboard box, some tin foil, super glue and rubber bands, and I wrapped it in duct tape just in case. So I think I'll make it."
Ulrich raises his hand. "I understand you'll be very lightheaded almost weightless."
"Yes, well that's what happens after you eat 12 bean burritos and drink three packs of root beer."
Yumi raises her hand. " So are you going to past the 9th one?"
"Well, no. I was actually thinking of stopping at the 32nd. It looks pretty."
Jeremy raises his hand. "Are you calling Houston?"
"No, Houston's fine, but when I have a problem I call Oakland." Kevin buzzes the game.
"Odd, who are you?" Says Kevin.
"I'm an astronaut?" Guesses Odd.
"Yes!" Says Kevin. Everyone heads back to their seats. "Odd Della Robbia, the man who went to the 32nd planet on a rubber band car made of duct tape." Says Kevin.
"And tin foil." Says Odd.
"Okay, let's move on with a game called Scenes from a hat! This is for all four of you. Before every show we get the audience members to write down scenes, we take the good ones and put them in this hat. We take the bad ones out side a set them on fire. Here's the first one," Kevin takes out a piece of paper, " People who should never speak in public." Odd and Ulrich walk out and just stand there. They walk back and Jeremy comes out.
"That was great 1000 points a piece." He walks back. Yumi walks out and holds her hand to her ear like a phone.
"Can you here me now? Good."
"Okay, next one." Says Kevin as he takes out another piece of paper, " Bad things to say to your friend before he commits suicide by jumping off a cliff." Odd walks out.
"About that twenty bucks you owe me?" He walks back and Jeremy comes out.
"Push!" Pretends to push someone. He walks back and Yumi comes out.
"And if you buy a full time membership you'll get free car insurance." She leaves and Ulrich comes on.
"Move it! You're holding up the line!" Kevin takes out a new piece of paper.
" Famous movie lines as sponsored by famous companies." Jeremy comes out,
"I'll be back to Burger King." Odd comes out,
"ET phone home, using 1-800-call-att." Odd goes back and Ulrich comes on.
"Luke I am your father and nothing is a better father's day gift than a Sears girt card."
"Okay," Takes out a piece of paper, "Sayings that will get you a black eye."
Odd comes out, "Hey, Kevin what's with the fat bra?"
Yumi comes out, "No offence dear but your meatloaf tastes like a brick."
Ulrich comes out, " I want you to punch me really hard in the eye."
"Okay last one." Kevin takes out a piece of paper, "Things you'd expect to see in Hell."
Jeremy comes out, "Tonight at the funny house, Odd Della Robbia and Ulrich Stern."
Odd comes out, "Let's watch some TV. Whose Line, Whose Line, Whose Line, Whose line."
Ulrich comes out. " Hey Kevin."
Kevin buzzes the game over and everyone heads back to their seats. "No points for those remarks. Now lets move on to a game called Show Stopping number. This for Odd, Ulrich and Jeremy. In this game you three are going to act out a scene, but when I buzz you, you have to break into a show stopping number based on the last line you said. The scene is 'At the laundry mat.' "
"Hey what are you doing?" Says Ulrich.
"Just doing my whites." Says Odd.
"Be careful not to mix them with your colors." Says Ulrich and Kevin hits the buzzer. "Don't mix your colors with your whites. Unless you want to put on a fight. Your clothes will turn tie-dye and trippy and you'll look just like a hippie."
"Thanks I'll keep that in mind." Says Odd.
"What soap do you use?"
"I use bleach." Says Odd and Kevin buzzes. "Yes it is true that I use bleach, and I feel like going to the beach. It makes my clothes white like a bar. I made it to space in a rubber band car." Jeremy comes in.
"Hello, I'm here with the Health inspection agency." Says Jeremy and Kevin buzzes. "That is right I'm from the health place. I ought to punch you in the face. You are one big huge disgrace. You can't take a duct tape car into outer space." Kevin buzzes the game over.
"We'll be right back with more 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' And we'll find out who the winner is so don't go away!" Says Kevin.
(After the break)
"Welcome back to 'Whose Lien is it Anyway?' Tonight's winner Yumi Ishiyama. She gets to sit at my desk while the rest of us do our favorite game in the whole wide world, HOE-DOWN!" Says Kevin. "What's the hoe-down about?"
"Believe it or not you guys are going to do the hoe-down hoe-down." Says Yumi.
"Okay let's start." Says Kevin as the music starts to play.
Jeremy starts singing, "When I do a hoe-down I am filled with joy.
When I sing one I feel just like a boy.
Oh I sing the hoe-down as you can see,
Now if you excuse me I really have to pee."
Kevin starts singing. "Oh these hoe-downs will they ever stop?
I just wish the freaking thing would pop.
Why do I hate these evil hoe-downs you say?
Cause I can't sing or even get paid."
Ulrich sings his, " I keep track of every hoe-down we do more,
The last time I checked it was 394,
Why do I keep track? Well, be assured,
You'd keep track if you got paid 500 a word."
Odd sings his, "I hate hoe-downs there are like crap,
I hope that no one even bothers to clap.
There is one thing, but I don't like to boast,
I do a better one than Kevin and he's the freakin' host."
Everyone sings, "He's the freakin' host."
"Thanks for watching 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' Good night!" Says Kevin.
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