Behind the Flames

AN: Ah yes…another AkuRoku(Sora) fic, unfortunately, this one doesn't have such a happy ending. Axel's thoughts before his death. This isn't exactly cannon…but…that's okay, right? That's what fanfiction's all about .

SQUIZZY PWNS!...okay I'm done

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Axel limply held his in his gloved hands as he stood in close proximity within the keyblade wielder. He hated that damn thing, that damn thing that had rended them apart. He began talking about it first, then gradually more and more, and somehow…forgot him. Fucking forgot him. They had spent so much time together, and Axel was left wondering from the charred memories that he desperately had tried to make him remember.

They edged nearly back-to-back in the vibrant void that led to The World that Never Was. Axel had watched him fight, and he moved so much like…him. He even bore the same semblance to him, acted like him…even talked like him. Without even looking at the boy, he could sense the panic in his voice

"They're too many of them!" the wielder of the keyblade began backing closer to the pyrokenetic. Axel gritted his teeth briefly, knowing that they both would be overcome by the dusk soon enough. He watched their swift moving bodies with hatred. If it weren't for them, maybe, just maybe he'd been able to…

He had to do something quickly.

Axel closed his eyes briefly before a quick plethora of events flashed beneath his eyelids. First seeing his form on a beach drenched in twilight, holding him close to his chest in the early hours of the morning, pale lips locked, feathered eyelashes, feeling his comfortable weight on his shoulder on the skyscraper of memory.

Those blue eyes staring into his own.

I wish…I wish that I could have seen you one last time. You could have hated me, but I wouldn't have cared. Just even to see you angry would have been enough for me.

The chakram-wielding pyrokenetic couldn't quite handle emotions. Not at a time like this. He inhaled swiftly, twirling them comfortably in his hands, taking in what dusk he could. Fuck…we're really out numbered.

"I think I liked it better when they were on my side" He chuckled falsely, a sudden memory hitting him: one of his last days not knowing about the conspiracy that Marluxia and Larxene had concocted. One of his last days with…

Marluxia had shook his head, looking more pissed than anything. "Can you seriously stop making jokes out of everything. C'mon, Axel, it's getting old."

As if. Everything with you was getting old.

"Feeling a little Re-Gret?" The young voice slit his thought in twain, as he was brought back to their current situation. Oh yeah…those stupid Dusk. A cocky grin came to his lips as he turned, once again, cloaking how he really felt. It almost seemed to easy now. "Nah. I can handle these punks. Watch this!"

He shooed the keyblade wielder further behind and away from him, as he stepped forward, trying to assess the situation. He knew that the last thing the boy would have seen was a smile gracing his lips, however, that façade slowly melted away into a firm line. The boy wasn't a complete fool, but…maybe he was a little naieve. Axel did feel regret. Regret that he hadn't a heart, regret for so many things that whirled by him.

Regret for not seeing him…one last time.

Yet, that was how life worked, wasn't it? He didn't have a heart anyway, so…why did he feel. Wasn't that the exact thing that he wanted to escape? Feeling?

Well…not when he was around.

Axel gritted his teeth at the white ocean that swarmed before him. Alright, you punks. I don't care what it takes, but I'm gonna take every single one of you down with me, if it's the last thing I do.

Even though he knew that it would be his last. Dusks, though rather insignificant, could really be a fucking pain in numbers. Closing his green eyes, he spread his arms wide, chakrams out, in death grips.

Flame.

He kindled it within him, gasping at the familiar rush of adrenaline, fueling his veins. His nerves flayed open with sparks, mind squeezing shut, teeth grinding, as he felt the white hot flare grow stronger and faster. A growl began, deep from within his throat, the feeling nearly building, like an orgasm would. The pain increasing to a climax. He let out a cry as fire burst from every pore; a cry of pain and triumph, and…something else…

He swayed a bit, a haunting chill wrapping around his body. He coughed out a short laugh. That's it…you…fuckers…burn…

He dropped to the ground, a smoke peeling away his being like dark ash. Next thing he knew, the keyblade wielder was over him, worriedly looking into his face. Jesus, those eyes!

It seemed that the brunette almost wanted to lay hands over his disappearing body. Axel almost wanted him to, yet suppressed it, feeling the same, well-practiced grin coming to his face. The brunette looked at him in disbelief "You're…fading away".

"Well…that's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack, you know what I mean?—" Axel thought that he caught a small nod from the keyblade wielder "—Not that…Nobodies actually have beings…right? Anyway…I digress. Go, find Kairi."

Yeah…go find her. She caused me enough trouble anyway.

"Oh. Almost forgot. Sorry…what I did to her."

Axel felt a ghost of a smile being to fade from his lips. He thought that she would have been easy to take care of, but she was quite the opposite. The girl had made him backtrack to Destiny Islands, and then to Twilight Town…and he met Demyx and Zexion and…ugh! Just too much trouble! Yet, she wasn't necessarily bad or anything, just…quite the handful.

"You're looking for someone, aren't you?"

"Yeah…so…what's it to you?"

"You'll find him one last time…"

"Huh? What're you talking about?"

"Trust me, Axel. You'll see Thirteen one last time…"

"Wait! How do you know about him?"

"When we find her, you can tell her that yourself." Azure grazed green, and the redhead smiled ironically, knowing that he wouldn't last too long. His eyes drifted to the void above him, nearly cursing the Organization XIII symbols that floated by. "Think I'll pass…my…heart wouldn't be in it, y'know…Haven't got one."

A pale hand grazed on his bare chest as the white sheets lay pooled around them. It almost seemed like making love was the only thing that could make them both "feel". Axel looked down at the sleeping boy. His soft breath grazed his midriff, blond hair feathering his side. Axel curled his form, bringing the boy closer to him. The redhead felt a sudden urge to protect the blond from all harm, that he was capable of doing that. He knew he couldn't feel, but what was this…fluttering thing in his ribs? His large, yet slender hand, brushed through the twisted locks; they were soft, despite their appearance.

"Axel…" The keyblade wielder interrupted again "What were you trying to do?"

The pyrokenetic's eyes fluttered open, thankful that someone rended him from his angst-driven memories. He didn't even know what he was saying, until he began talking

"I wanted to see Roxas."

Laughing in his room, talking the endless night away…

"He was the only one I liked"

Lying with his head in the boy's lap, kind hands stroking across his face, his lips, his hair…

"He made me feel, like I had a heart"

Their bursting near-hearts pumping with Axel's fast-paced rythym, their moans melding into a moment euphoric, kissing tears from his soft face. Skin. Lips. Breath. Flame…

"It's kind of…funny…"

Axel turned to the keyblade wielder as much as he could, eyes briefly following what was left of him strung out in the air, hanging on the fingers of the void.

"You make me feel…the same…"

He squeezed his eyes shut; wishing that he were able to continue with the keyblade wielder, and his strange friends. Perhaps he would find his own salvation that was…

Is that him? I swear it's…

Axel whetted his lips, a strange empty feeling filling his chest, different from the emptiness before…as if he finally became cognizant of it.

"Hey…Sora…? Can I ask you a favor?"

"Yeah?" The brunette stared inquisitively into his face. Axel thought he saw him for only a fleeting moment. Those pale pink lips, those sad azure eyes that he had always loved to stare into. They had almost created a heart together…

It was better left alone.

"Kairi's in the castle dungeon. Now go!" Axel slipped his vibrant green eyes closed as he looked at the keyblade wielder one last time.

Roxas…I'm so sorry. I…I'll love you. Always.

He wasn't sure if he heard his name being called as everything faded and dimmed into nothingness.

FIN

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AN: wipes hand across brow whew! Finished that one before dinner! Just wanted a smidge of a break between Sushi XIII and a new fic that I'm starting…Scarlet Chains. Jesus, Axel and Roxas totally pwn me. Tokie-Dokie…flame? Review? Pick your poison…and do it wisely .