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Me: Yes I am J.K. Rowling. Snape: No you're not. You're a 15-year-old American girl who is trying to write and failing horribly. Me: Don't make me put Barney on. Snape: … You actually have a video of that freak? Me: Well…no. But I'll find one. Snape: Pay no attention to her. She hasn't taken her medication. Me: That's it! This is now officially a story about making your life hell. Snape: Oh, but seeing you does that immediately. Me: Bite me. Snape: When where and how hard? Me: … Fine you win this fight. But I'll win the next one! Snape: No you won't, you're just a child, and a stupid one at that.

"Do any of you know how to brew even the simplest potion? I will never be able to fathom how on earth you dunderheads managed to get into the N.E.W.T. level course of potions," Professor Severus Snape yelled at his students. He smirked when he saw them slouch in their seats. He was a very impatient man when it came to stupid people and he felt it was his curse in life to be surrounded by the morons who plagued Hogwarts. He pinched the bridge of his rather long nose.

"Professor?" Snape looked up at who else but Hermione Granger.

"Ms. Granger! If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times! Do not disturb me and get to your potion! Detention tonight for your obvious lapse in memory"

Hermione slumped in her chair. She hated this class; it wasn't really the class as much as it was the teacher. He acted as though he had a niffler up his arse or something. She had originally been against the plan Harry and Ron had formulated last night but now she decided she was all for it. Harry, what with the war being over and all, was getting a bit bored and decided that it would be… amusing to play a few pranks on Snape. She had adamantly protested this but she was really getting annoyed and she was beginning to agree with him. This would be really interesting. She heard the bell ring and gathered her things and was almost out the door when Snape yelled at her.

"Ms. Granger! The detention is at 8 'o' clock sharp. If you're late you will have a weeks worth of detention."

Snarky git. At least he didn't take away points. Hermione rushed to the Great Hall for dinner and sat herself between Ron and Harry.

"You guys I've decided to help out with your pranks. That git gave me detention tonight and I was thinking it would be really funny to do something then"

"Hermione" Harry started "that's bloody brilliant! I know what you could do! You could act as though you like him, you know. Tell him you wanted the detention because you wanted to be close to him, and you just can't help your feelings for him. He can't do anything, there's nothing in the rules that says a girl can't have a crush on her teacher and it would freak him out!"

"You've thought about this, haven't you Harry?" Ron asked between the food in his mouth. Well it actually sounded like "uf fawt bow is a'nt o, ary" but as they has been friends with Ron for years they somehow managed to hear around the food.

"Yeah" Harry admitted sheepishly. "I was hoping you'd come 'round Hermione."

"Harry! That's a good idea. The best thing is I doubt he'll ever give me another detention no matter what I do. He'd be too freaked out to give me one! I know just what I'm going to wear! Bye guys"

Harry and Ron watched as she ran out of the room.

"D'you think she seemed a little too eager to confess her love?" Harry questioned.

"Nah, you know how 'Mione is. She starts something she has to get it just right. Remember SPEW?" Ron said barely suppressing his laughter.

Harry shuddered. He still remembered when she forced them to work alongside the elves for a day. Snape will never know what hit him; it was a good thing Hermione was on his team.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh when she pulled out her black leather mini skirt that her sister Veronica had given her as a joke a year ago. She pulled out a low-cut red shirt and she even managed to scrounge out a pair of red boots that went to the knee. They were Pavarti's but she wouldn't notice if they were gone for a night, she had 23 other pairs of shoes. This was going to be hilarious. She put on her clothes and made it to the classroom just in time and straightened her hair. She was so happy that she had gotten it straightened this past summer. It was so much more manageable now. She took a deep breath and opened the classroom door.

Dun dun dun! Somewhat of a cliffhanger. Anyway… review please. Snape likes to read your flames so he can remind me I'm inferior.

-American Punk