Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of the characters nor do I own "Never Let Go" by Josh Groban. If I did own FMA I wouldn't be writing fanfiction right now, trust me.
Warnings: This is rated M for implied sex and yaoi. Also contains adultery and fraternizing. But the most extreme warning is this: I made it seem as though Archer is younger than Hughes (part of the challenge from my friend who asked me to do this). Spoilers for those of you who haven't seen Episode 25 "Words of Farewell."
Summary: He never thought that he would find love, he told himself that it only lead to pain. But can a night at the office with his superior change his mind, or is it just another heartbreak awaiting him?
Never Let Go
He was caught looking at his for the third time today as blue eyes found their way to gold. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that he would be alone with in his opinion one of the most beautiful Majors in the whole military.
"Lieutenant Colonel, Sir?" the Major asked. "Are you feeling well?"
He couldn't respond he was too captivated by those blue eyes those gorgeous artic blue eyes.
"Maybe you should go home…" the Major stated. "You have a wife and a four-year-old. I can take care of this."
"Major Archer," the Lieutenant Colonel scolded, "I'm the Head of the Military Court, this is my job."
Archer looked away, "But, Sir…"
"You should go home," the Lieutenant Colonel smiled, "isn't there someone waiting for you?"
Archer closed his eyes. Of course there wasn't anyone waiting for him. He lived his life on not getting close to people. He hated pain, he hated betrayal. Alone. You couldn't hurt anyone then only yourself.
A masculine hand was placed on his shoulder. "Major…"
"Hughes…" Archer whispered turning toward him.
"Do you ever get lonely living the way you do?" Hughes asked. "You're so cold so stiff. Yet you seem so sad like you feel empty."
Empty. How could one word describe him in such detail? How could he live his life like this?
"I've never had a full conversation with anyone in about three months now, Sir." Archer frowned. "You don't have to be the one who breaks my record."
Hughes' hand was now lovingly stroking the Major's pale neck enticing him, "I don't think you really are such an ass, I think that you're afraid of love."
Damn why does he have to be right all of the time? Archer had never gotten this close to anyone; no one has ever pinpointed his need for human interaction.
"You seem tense… take of your jacket," Hughes whispered.
"Sir?" Archer was shocked by the forward comment. Was he coming onto him?
"I don't mean it like that, Major," Hughes was blushing. "You seem unfocused. I was wondering if you wanted me to rub your back."
Archer smiled at the request as he started to slowly unbutton his jacket exposing a frugal fabric undershirt underneath.
"You're really going light on the clothing aren't you?" Hughes asked rubbing the cloth on the Major's chest.
The heat of his superior's fingers caused his chest to burn. He knew this wasn't right. He knew this was against the rules. He knew they could lose their jobs. But most importantly, he knew he wanted this.
No matter how much he tried to tell himself this was wrong he gave in to his desire to be touched, his craving for human flesh. He gave into his lust. He turned for him allowing the Lieutenant Colonel to touch him.
"Relax…" Hughes cooed as his hands kneaded the pale flesh of his back.
He let out a single sigh of contentment as Hughes' fingers traced circles on his skin. He knew this was no longer a back massage, it was sexual foreplay. But he did not deny it; he couldn't deny this touch, this moment. He wanted it, even if it was sex, he wanted it.
"So how has your life been going?" Hughes asked, Archer knew he was asking about his sex life.
"Lousy…" Archer openly whispered, the rubbing of his back ceasing, "absolutely lousy."
Hughes' hand left Archer's back and passionately grabbed the Major's shoulders and turned him around. There they stood, face to face in the shadowy office, gold meeting blue in a passionate gaze. Archer was done for.
I can't give in to him! I can't let this go any further! But he very seldom listened to his own advice and allowed the Lieutenant Colonel's lips to possess his. He allowed Hughes' tongue to invade the threshold of his mouth. He allowed Hughes to touch the fair flesh of his face as the kiss became more fervid, deeper.
"Sir!" Archer cried out breaking the kiss, "This isn't right, you have a wife! You have a wife and a kid waiting for you at home!"
"I know, Frank…" Archer was shocked how Hughes used his first name, "but did it ever occur to you that I can't work with you? Not with you walking around Central Headquarters with your breathtaking beauty," Hughes took a breath. "Don't you think it shames me knowing that when I lie in bed next to my wife that I'm thinking about you? About you actually wanting me."
Archer's eyes expanded to nearly three times their original size, was this all true? Did Maes Hughes really have feelings toward him? It was impossible. Wasn't it?
"Well say something," Hughes begged.
Archer swallowed hard, "My word…"
He was overall shocked that a superior would even be slightly attracted to him. He thought of himself as a plain-looking prude without a trace of personality. But at that moment when Hughes' arms tightened around him yet again he knew. He knew he wanted this.
"I can't understand it"
Archer closed his eyes and let out a sigh, "So you're in love with me?"
"Is that a problem?" Hughes asked tightening his grip on the Major. "Because if it is, I'll stop."
Archer couldn't believe this was actually happening to him. After all of these years of working under this man why hadn't he noticed? The glanced, the smiles, it was all obvious now. He was "head over heels" in love with him.
Another kiss was formed causing a moan to undulate through the Major's body. This had to be a dream.
"The search for the answer is left with the darker day"
This is what you've been waiting years for. Finally someone actually wants to touch you. Archer thought as the kiss intensified.
After all of these years he couldn't believe that this was actually happening, that he was actually found slightly attractive by a superior. Sure this was fraternization, but he didn't care. Hell, if this were to permanently scare his record so what. The worst thing that could happen is he could get thrown in prison.
But at this moment wrapped up in the Lieutenant Colonel's arms he knew that he never wanted this to end.
"And we've been handed these moments forever"
Archer let out a low breath as he was rested up against the wall papers falling to the ground as he clung onto his superior not wanting to release him. He never wanted this to happen, he knew he was going to get hurt, but he didn't care. The feeling that ran down his spine with every punishing kiss was enough to make him realize that this was what he wanted more than anything.
All of this time, he let love pass him by, but now he knew that shouldn't be the case. Sure this was adultery, but it would be something just for him, like a hobby on the side until he got something stable.
"But I'm reassured there's another way"
"Sir?" Archer moaned as he felt the Lieutenant Colonel's hands slide under his shirt, skin against skin. "God…"
Hughes smiled as he pulled the shirt off of the Major's body holding him close. Never would anyone suspect that Maes Hughes and Frank Archer would be in the library fooling around. Hell, they didn't plan on it either but if this is what God intended then let the games begin.
"You don't have to close your eyes; there is room for love again"
"Relax," Hughes whispered on Archer's lips the Major closing his eyes tightly, "this doesn't have to be as hard as you think it is." He kissed his chin. "You don't have to close your eyes; I'm not going to hurt you."
Archer took a deep breath as Hughes undid his own jacket, his body tensing as he thought of what he was actually going to do. He wasn't ready for this; it was going to hurt, physically and emotionally. He could never do this again. He promised himself.
He promised himself.
"Ease the pain and realize all that love can be"
He thought of all of the love he had lost, there was none. How could you lose when there was nothing really tangible, when everything in your life was an illusion? Was Hughes a mirage too? Was this just one of those moments when he was going wake up and realize that he would amount to nothing?
"Sir…?" Archer asked opening his eyes. "What do you want with me? Am I to become another one night thing?"
"Is that how you'd prefer it, Archer?" Hughes asked.
Archer's eyes started to water, "It is, Sir."
Hughes stroked Archer's face gently, "Alright, if that's what you want… but I want to know why you don't want me to love you."
"Nothing good comes of it," Archer answered his eyes meeting the Lieutenant Colonel's, "nothing good, ever comes from it…"
"Forced apart by time and sand take a stand and take my hand"
"I'll make you change your mind about people, one of these days you're going to find someone who loves you, Archer," Hughes answered, "we all do."
"Referring to your wife?" Archer asked. "Is that the one that you love more than anything? You said we all find someone, so why bother if you already have?"
Hughes was silent for a moment, "Because the one that I truly love is always so far away from me. I know he shares my feelings, but sometimes I feel as though my wife, not that I don't love her, isn't the one." He smiled. "I can share your pain, and if you need any help I'm your hand to hold."
"And don't let it go"
"I know I'm a fool, but I'll take your word for it." Archer answered stoking Hughes' face. "After all you're the superior here and I am the one who you have pinned." He smiled as Hughes moved closer. "Wouldn't it be something if someone walked in on us?"
"A sense of adventure, it seems as though you're taking my hand." Hughes smiled as he ran his fingers through Archer's hair.
"Do you want me to?" Archer asked purring softly. "You seemed so keen on me being with you for this…"
"Don't let it go…" Hughes begged.
"Never let go"
"I won't, Sir…" Archer moaned as he came closer to giving into his lust, "… I'll never let go as long as you extend it out for me. I don't want you to lose your hope because you think I don't enjoy you."
"Or that you're helping me cheat?" Hughes asked looking into his eyes.
"Or even that I am a filthy slut who is helping you cheat on your wife…" Archer laughed kissing Hughes' neck lightly wrapping his arms around him.
Hughes breathed deeply, "You're not a slut, I ignited this flame, you're just the kindling. I'm the one to blame for this fire on my wife's soul. You mean nothing to her troubled mind."
"Broken, once connected"
Archer felt Hughes' hand start to creep down his pants, "What are your intentions with me, Lieutenant Colonel? Don't think that I don't see that hand going to touch me. Tell me what's on your mind…"
"I want to make love to you…" Hughes answered, "… if you allow me the pleasure."
Archer nodded, "If you want is, Sir."
"I don't want you to say yes because I'm your superior, Frank. I want you to say yes because that's what you want. It's going to hurt, Frank… I don't think you're ready for it… make your decision wisely," Hughes warned.
Archer closed his eyes and thought: did he want this?
"We were so strong and so blessed in a simple way"
Archer looked into Hughes' eyes, he said it would hurt, but Archer's emotional pain was greater than any physical discomfort the Lieutenant Colonel could bring. For countless hours he had been so alone thinking there was no one out there for him. There was no one to hold him, no one to love him. But here he was: someone who wanted to touch him, someone who wanted all that his body could give, someone who found him attractive.
"I want it…" Archer answered pushing Hughes' hand deeper into his pants, "… even if it does hurt…"
"Strong man…" Hughes smiled.
"Strength is very simple… it's weakness that is hard." Archer answered breathing heavily at the contact of Hughes' hand. "I'm a very simple man."
"So don't let me go it alone"
Hughes dropped his own jacket to the ground never breaking contact with Archer's eyes as he wedged himself in between the Major's legs his hard flesh pulsing against his subordinate's skin.
Archer let out a low moan as he took of Hughes' glasses which were already starting to fog. "You don't need these to see do you?"
"If I get what I want then I won't be able to see through them anyway," Hughes answered undoing Archer's pants stripping him down to his plain white boxers. "You're not very surprising are you? White?"
"I don't wake up every morning and expect to get laid you know. I'm not like your friend Mustang." Archer closed his eyes as Hughes' hand came in contact with sensitive skin.
"Turn your head up to the sky"
Archer didn't know how long Hughes' could keep him pinned to the wall like this with no sense of balance at all. With Archer's legs wrapped tightly around his waist and one of Hughes' hands pinned to the wall, the other conveniently caressing sensitive flesh nurturing him until he was almost hard.
"Damn…" was the only word Archer could mutter at this time as Hughes put him back on his feet to lower his boxers.
This was his last chance to turn back. Inside of his body there was this voice screaming for him to stop it. Telling him this wasn't right. He was his superior for God's sake, Head of the Military Court. But then there was a softer voice that said he should proceed, there was no turning back no matter what, at least with the second choice he'd get some fun out of it.
He leaned back and looked at the ceiling as Hughes started going through a filing cabinet, knowing exactly what he wanted. Archer wasn't an idiot; he knew what he was in search for. It was all to make this easier, more pleasure than pain. He marinated himself in his thoughts taking deep heavy breaths as he looked off into the distance. Excruciatingly deep breaths.
"Nothing down below but me"
"You alright?" Hughes asked walking over hearing the deep breaths. "You're not nervous are you?" he stroked Archer's cheek kissing his lips lightly yet again, Archer's breathing stilled and they separated.
Archer felt himself being lifted again. This is it, Frank, this is the part that you could have avoided, the pain, the agony. Damn, this is going to hurt…
Hughes looked into Archer's eyes and kissed him on the nose, "Ever done it standing up?"
"Not when I'm in this position…" Archer answered turning his face away and closing his eyes. "Is it going to hurt more?"
Hughes smile widened, "I'm not going to let it hurt you, just hang on to my shoulders and you should be fine." And like a fool Archer was going to trust him. The Lieutenant Colonel knew what he was talking about; he knew what to do in situations like this. At least Archer hoped he did.
Archer took a deep breath before he felt a sharp pain run up and down his spine. He wanted to scream but it only came out in a small hiss of air, his fingernails digging into Hughes' shoulder blades. The louder voice in his head was right, it was going to hurt, he should have turned back when he had the chance, now only more pain was in store for him.
As he brushed against the wall still clinging on helplessly onto his superior, he couldn't help but realize that the pain was starting to become unbearable, he wasn't getting an ounce of pleasure out of this. And judging by the way Hughes looked into his eyes, he knew.
"Face the truth and realize all that we could be"
"Are you alright?" he asked looking into the Major's eyes as sympathetically as he could, holding back his own moan of pleasure. "This isn't hurting you is it, Frank?"
"What gave you that idea?" Archer winced, blood staining his fingernails.
Hughes separated them and walked over to a chair. It was a normal wooden chair, nothing too special, nothing too amazing. It had no arm rests which struck into his mind what they were going to do with the furniture.
"Come over here," Hughes smiled as he sat down, patting his lap.
Archer shakily walked over; with every step the pain was only worse, surging from his lower back all the way down to his ankles. He knew Hughes was trying his hardest and he respected him for that.
"This should be more comfortable," Hughes smiled wrapping his hands around Archer's waist suspending him off of the ground yet again. This time though when he was entered, the pain wasn't so overwhelming. It was perfect.
"Torn apart by rage and fear hold on to what brought you here"
A stream of forgotten feeling ran up and down his spine: it was rapture. The movements, the sensations, the atmosphere, everything was perfect. It only augmented the feelings when Hughes claimed Archer's lips in a passionate steamy kiss both men moaning simultaneously.
"Better?" Hughes asked breathing on Archer's lips passionately.
"Much…" the Major answered looking into golden eyes right before he moaned yet again. "You're such a great person."
Archer's eyes closed tightly as it was starting to become too much, everything in his mind was spinning in a spherical kaleidoscope, every movement bringing a little closer to the edge. His mind was detaching from his body which was dying right here on top of Hughes. He didn't want to let go, he wanted this to last forever.
"Don't let it go"
He held onto it basking in the glory of the moment, taking in the illumination of his upcoming rise to the heavens. Breathing became a little more difficult than it should have been, his heart racing in his chest. And then he finally let go with a moan, tears rolling down his face.
"God…" he breathed resting on Hughes' shoulder whose body was stiffing as well. "No wonder Roy always seems so chipper."
Hughes kissed Archer neck as he eased the man off trying to catch his breath before looking up at the other man. His eyes were watering as he reached out his hands and took the glasses from the table.
"Are you sure you haven't done that in months?" Hughes asked his glasses returning to their proper position.
"Positive," the Major answered putting his uniform back on, the room stifling and filled with the aroma of lovemaking.
"Never let go"
"Going home?" Hughes asked starting to gather the articles of his uniform.
"It's late, I think I should," Archer answered looking into Hughes' eyes. "But tonight was a blast. I love being a filthy slut." He kissed Hughes' cheek.
Hughes smiled, "You're not a slut, Archer," he ran a hand through his hand. "You're an angel. You're the closest to perfection that I will ever meet and you really made my night… no… you made my life."
"You flatter me," Archer answered breathlessly. "You're really something else." He finished the buttons on his jacket, "I could report this, you did just proposition me in a library while doing research."
"You won't…" Hughes smiled.
Archer crouched down to pick up all of the scattered papers on the ground placing them on neat piles on the table. Hughes' watched how easily he came down from all of the sexual activity; here he was going back to work after the Lieutenant Colonel specifically told him that was the problem. Oh well, at least he tried.
"Turn your head up to the sky"
"Same time tomorrow?" Archer asked noticing Hughes face on the question, he corrected himself. "For the work?"
Hughes purred lightly, "For anything you want, Major, even if we wind up having sex again." He swaggered toward Archer and kissed his lips again a chill running down his spine. "I'll do anything you want."
Archer nodded as he saluted the Lieutenant Colonel. "Thank you, Sir."
"Now we're talking about the sex…" Hughes smiled adjusting his glasses. "Just don't get into too much trouble on the way home."
"You're not leaving?" Archer asked.
"I have a few questions for Dr. Marcoh about Lab 5, and I'm expecting a call from Miss Douglas," Hughes smiled. "But I'll see you tomorrow after I get all of this sorted out, I swear, I will see you."
Archer nodded as he walked away; he knew they would meet again.
"Nothing down below"
Archer was summoned out of bed by the ringing of the phone. He had no idea who it could possibly be, he never gave out his home phone number, he had no reason to. He sat back and let it ring until it had gotten unbearable. Reaching over he gently grasped the phone and answered it.
"Hello?" he asked trying to sound as awake as possible.
"Is this Major Frank Archer?" a voice asked. "This is Major Armstrong."
"What do I owe this call to?" Archer asked. "What's going on at the office?"
A pause. Archer never liked pauses. God, were he and Hughes found out about what happened earlier tonight? Was this Major calling to tell him that he lost his job, lost everything that he had worked so hard for?
"It's about, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes… he's dead."
Dead? What the hell was he talking about dead; he was just fine when he last saw him in the office. He didn't look unwell, oh lord, he had gotten into an accident on the way home. So many scenarios filled Archer's head and he didn't want to believe any of them, they were all false.
"H-how?" Archer muttered. "What in the name of God happened?"
"He was shot in the chest and killed. Why or by whom we haven't the slightest clue." Armstrong paused again. "I'm calling to tell you, you got the job. You are now Lieutenant Colonel Archer, Head of the Military Court."
Archer's breathing became labored like sobbing, "Thank you, Armstrong."
"Are you alright, Lieutenant Colonel?" Armstrong asked.
Archer took a deep breath, "I'm fine."
"At the funeral, your uniform will bear the mark of a Lieutenant Colonel. Congratulations." He hung up.
Congratulations? How the hell could he just say congratulations? It was more than just his promotion, in order to achieve it Hughes had to die. Alchemists believed in a thing called equivalent exchange: in order to obtain, something of equal value must be lost. But this was far from equivalency, this was madness, and it was unfair.
He broke down and sobbed for the first time in a while, balled up in bed sobbing loudly as he lost control of his emotions and respiration. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare, this illusion before he got too absorbed in the moment and lost everything he had before he could turn back.
Hughes told him to never let go, and he wouldn't.
"Don't let go"
The light from the moon dimmed as clouds cast a shadow on his sky, his body shaking in shock and sorrow. He couldn't take it in; he couldn't absorb a word of it. After the intimacy, the promise they made, he was dead.
"Hughes…" he sobbed covered himself in the blankets trying his hardest not to lose everything that he and Hughes hand. "I won't let go… I won't."
AN: I know this is totally a crack pairing but it helps the flow of things better and why Archer's so cold.
On a lighter note, today is my birthday (yesterday I had to take the evil SATs!) I'm now 17-years-old (meaning all the NC-17 I can handle, but not on this site, still have to keep the rating R).
Hope you enjoyed my story!