Contemplations in the Afterlife

by: scarlet wax petal

October 25. Today would have been Nisama's birthday, I thought, as I walked alone upon the browning grass and the crisp red leaves of autumn. I gazed up at the whitish-blue sky to see more leaves being shed by the trees that towered above me.

Ah, everything in this world must come to an end, sometime, somehow... like the once-vibrant leaves of summer past that fall to the ground like rain.

Like the rain that fell torrentially that cold dreary afternoon. The afternoon Nisama was buried. The afternoon when I said my last goodbye to the most special person in my life.

I was in Japan when the news came to me. I was unprepared when I saw the dilapidated car, unmistakably his, on television. Thankfully, Yugi Mutou was there, and he roused me from the intense shock that had struck me incoherent for some time. Immediately, I rode my fastest jet and headed for America, hoping that I would arrive to find my brother alright. Yet barely an hour in the journey, and another news flash told me I was too late... Seto Kaiba, young CEO of Kaiba Corporation, my Nisama, was dead. He didn't even make it to the hospital. It was as if... he had given up on life the moment the accident happened. But Nisama was a fighter, so I had much doubt on the thought.

When I finally arrived, I found that my wife had taken care of my brother's wake. As expected, many people came to "pay their final respects." Yet, also as expected, none of them stayed. To them, Seto Kaiba had been no one but the CEO of Kaiba Corporation, the youngest self-made billionnaire, and the world's most heartless bastard. But I knew him better than that -- and he was certainly far from heartless. For Seto Kaiba is a compassionate and honorable man who cared for and protected his brother to the depths of the soul he risked losing forever. He was my Nisama. And I love him.

Nisama was buried on a Sunday. Surprisingly, Yugi and Anzu Mutou, their son Atem, and all their friends -- Honda, Shizuka, Mai, Otogi, even Jounouchi -- were present, arriving just in time for the funeral mass. They comforted me, said that they were sad that my brother has passed away. At first, I was hesitant to believe them. But their evident sincerity soon won my trust.

After the coffin had been descended, the rain fell. Everyone ran for shade. Many complained about their soaking wet suits and dresses. But Yugi-tachi had stayed, and they stayed with me, under the rain, where I had let my bitter tears wash away, my only offering to the brother who had loved me so much.

Yugi Mutou placed his hand gently upon my shoulder. "You may not have realized this, Mokuba, but it isn't only you who cares for your brother," he said.

I looked at him through teary eyes. I didn't respond.

"We will miss your brother, Mokuba," came Jounouchi, "even if he was such a..." And he slapped himself. "Oh, forget it. Your brother may have been a jerk, but he's saved our butts many times before. I guess you could call him a hero," he remarked with a shrug.

"We owe him more than can ever be repaid," said Anzu. The rest nodded their heads in agreement.

Yeah, I know, I thought bitterly. But have you ever regarded him as more than just a comrade? Unlikely; given my brother's often arrogant attitude, Yugi-tachi would never have gone beyond the level of respect -- if they even respect him, that is.

As if in response to my silent question, Yugi looked up at the sky, and sighed, closing his eyes contemplatively. "You know," he finally uttered, after a moment of silence, "your Nisama was everything to Yami Yugi. Yami Yugi loved him from the bottom of his heart."

"Really?" I blurted in surprise.

Yugi nodded his head solemnly, and smilingly blinked his large innocent eyes. "Yes. Really." He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, and smiled. And there, I believed him.

It pleased me to know that there was someone other than me who regarded my brother in a very special way.

Yugi-tachi left days after the burial, while my family and I returned to our home, to our lives. I had hoped it would be as easy as everyone claimed. Unlike them, I was inconsolable. Part of me had wanted to die. But I remembered my wife and my daughter, and found that I couldn't (and wouldn't) give up on life... for the simple reason that I want to always be there for them. So sometimes, I wonder: Now that I'm all grown up, with a family of my own, and strong enough to protect myself, did Nisama allow himself to die? If I had been younger and weaker, would Nisama have survived? Guess I won't know, for now.

As everyone knows, my brother left no heir, which instantly elevated me to his position. I know I will never be as good a CEO as my brother was, but I promise that I would try my best to uphold his legacy for the young and the young-at-heart.

Many months have passed since then. The wounds of losing my precious brother have healed to some extent. I know that I will get over this someday, and be free to move on -- for my sake, and for the sake of those whom I hold dear to my heart.

I now stand reverently before my brother's gravestone, and remember the good times we've had when he was still alive, as I stare at the lovely white carnations that I had laid in his memory. And then I look at the sky, and I know... that he is there, somewhere, in heaven.

Nisama, I pray that you have finally found peace wherever you may be. Yami Yugi, I hope that you are finally reunited with the man you love. In our hearts, you will always be our heroes, our friends, our brothers. I pray that you both obtain your well-deserved rewards.

Till we meet again. May you both rest in peace.

Chapter 19: Uncertainty Resolved

"Kaiba! Kaiba! Where are you, Kaiba? Answer me!" I yelled and yelled, yet there was no response. Immediately, I re-entered the gates of the afterlife to seek my priests' help in tracking down Seto Kaiba.

I arrived at the temple to find them, looking clueless on what they should do. I glanced around; there were only five. Dear Gods...

"Where's Seth?" I demanded indignantly. "Didn't I tell him to await me here?"

"He has been taken away..." Isis tearfully whispered. My priests and I immediately headed for the afterlife court. When we arrived, we found Seth seated before the omnipotent judicial council of the Gods, with his hands and ankles bound in iron chains. Despite that, there was still a proud, dignified air about him. And the pain that was there in his eyes before was, strangely... gone.

The council acted as the prosecutors, while my priests and I acted in Seth's defense. My priests had been reluctant at first, but it was evident that as the trial bore on, they became more intense in their resolve to save my High Priest. Most of the priests reasoned on basis of Seth's numerous merits, while I reasoned that, given only Seth's actions, fate would have gone on as planned; therefore, his punishment shouldn't be as severe. I didn't dare mention about what happened to Seto Kaiba; it was likely that they already knew, but I was willing to take my chances that they didn't.

Arguments were thrown by each side to the other. And, after an exhausting daylong trial, the verdict was in: Seth was guilty of tampering with the Book of Life. However, instead of a millennium of fiery torture, his punishment has been commuted to a century of imprisonment, with visiting privileges for one person each week. Furthermore, he would have to relinquish his rights as High Priest forever.

The result of the trial wasn't an acquittal, and I didn't hope it would be (Seth was, after all, still guilty), but I was greatly relieved with how things had turned out. As a parting gift, my priests and I decided that the visiting privileges would be used only by Kisara.

Just as Seth was about to be taken away, I managed to grab a moment to ask him about Seto Kaiba. In response, he smiled serenely, puzzling me at first. And then he replied:

"His heart has led him to where he wishes to go. I wish for your happiness from hereon, my Lord."

From his words, and from his calm eyes, I caught a faint glimmer of hope, and I smiled. "See you in a hundred years, my High Priest," I whispered. "And, if what you said is true... my eternal gratitude is yours."

"It was my duty." He nodded respectfully, and then turned himself in to fulfill his sentence, not looking back as he walked down the halls to the dungeons. I watched him through teary eyes until he was out of sight.

As soon as we got out of the afterlife court, my other priests and I parted ways. It was already late in the evening, and thousands of stars littered the blackness of night. I should be home now, fast asleep. Except I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. So I was still walking around, hoping to find whom I was looking for. I went to the river banks, searched the marketplace and library, and paid a visit to the temple. He wasn't there. He was nowhere to be found.

Maybe he has come to his world in the afterlife? I wondered, remembering what Seth had told me on my first day here. I decided to ask Isis for assistance on the matter the following morning. But, for now, I would have to go home and rest.

Sadly and slowly, I trudged the road home. I found that the lamps were still brightly lit. How odd... The servants should have turned down the lights by now. Unless... someone has entered my home without permission!

Cautiously, I gave the door a push. A terse greeting immediately welcomed me.

"Took you ages to come back. I didn't know the King of Duelists has such a poor sense of direction."

The voice was young and mocking and firm. Almost commanding, with a taint of conceit. But it was just right, so familiar, almost too good to be true. For before me proudly stood its source -- tall and slender, in a flowing white trench-coat, with the soft brown hair I've been wanting to touch and the deep blue eyes I've been longing to see...

Seto Kaiba. I mouthed, pinned to where I was in shock. I rubbed my eyes, trying to erase the apparition. Except this was no mere vision. Seto Kaiba was actually here, standing in the middle of my living room!

"Kaiba..." His name finally escaped my lips. "What... How did you end up in here? You were supposed to be back in the world of the living!"

He simply shrugged. "Who cares? And don't give me another lecture on destiny. I'll just shut your words off." He smirked triumphantly, and chuckled. "Didn't I tell you that I am beyond fate? Or must I always remind you about that, so that you won't forget?"

I silently watched him as he turned and settled himself very comfortably on my couch. Yeah, it looks like you've done it again, Seto Kaiba. I shook my head and smiled. Kaiba -- Seto was back to being his usual annoying self. The usual annoying self that I found so strangely special. Just like I did the rest of him.

I sauntered nearer, not once taking my eyes from him. And he stared back, with a grin of mischief and arms crossed arrogantly over his chest, reaching me, making my heart beat faster with every second, every step, every thought of what was to come...

Our faces were now mere inches apart. Seto lifted his head to meet my gaze levelly, drowning me further into the ocean that were his eyes. "Well?" he asked breathily, his voice tinkling with playful contest. "Answer my question, Yami Yugi. Must I stay here just to get that fact right to your head?"

My voice was caught in my throat. I was speechless, and gasping for breath, my heart pounding rapidly, excitedly in my chest.

Seto moved, gently brushing my cheek with the delicious warmth of his exhale. I swallowed in tension. Gods, his face is so painfully close... The heat of his breath now rolled over the sensitive skin of my ear. A touch of wetness swept it for a moment, and I groaned in bliss at the contact.

"I am waiting, Yami Yugi." Seto whispered huskily, his voice thick with heated desire, "Answer me. Now."

My mind was struck blank; I couldn't think of any words with which to respond. Instead, I decided to answer Seto's question in another, more certain way: an answer that I knew Seto would approve of so much more than mere words...

I grabbed him by the collar of his trenchcoat and pulled him to me, hungrily enveloping his lips in the warmth of my own. And Seto immediately replied, with as much intensity, as much longing for contact. He plunged into my mouth with his tongue, almost too eagerly, too roughly, like a pilgrim in a desert finally offered a fount to soothe his thirst. Aye, Seto has been deprived of this for too long, I thought, as I gladly received his assault, knowing that the feeling was mutual.

When we parted, reluctantly, to catch our breaths, and I found my power to speak. Gazing into his deep blue eyes, I whispered upon his lips his name. "Seto..."

His voice was soft, exhaled, as he caught his breath in deep heated gasps. "What is it?"

"You're a moron," I remarked, quite sharply, and smiled.

"I know." His right arm snaked over my nape, cupping the back of my head with his hand. And as he traced with his left fingers upon my cheek, he whispered, "And so are you," before gracing my lips again with his hungriest kisses.

Fools indeed. And I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Epilogue: Paradise... At Last

I glanced dazedly around the room, where our clothes lay scattered in different places. Somehow, from where we had started -- on the living room couch -- we had ended up lying naked and exhausted upon the kitchen floor. In the heat of our passion, Yami Yugi and I forgot where we were; we didn't even make it to his bedroom, so I was glad that his servants were not around tonight.

My actions had been torrid and zealously unrefined, as I touched him, undressed him, pleasured him in all ways possible. As I ravished him. As I claimed him, took him as my own as I did many years ago. I wanted to make up for the long time we had been apart, now that we are finally together. Now that I finally have him.

We lay there, on the kitchen floor, recovering in our postcoital embrace. As I stared hazily at the ceiling, I recalled the times when I had denied him, maligned him... those lost times that should have been happier, should have been like this. And then I look at the man in my arms, and see what is now: my present, my future. And I have no regrets.

Out of curiosity, I had asked him: "Why do you even bother with a jerk like me?"

And he answered, quite simply:

"Because you're you, Seto Kaiba. And I love you." He dropped a subtle kiss upon my nose and, raining gentle kisses upon my face, he whispered, almost breathlessly:

I love you. I love you. And I love you... over and over again, reassuring me, renewing his promises with every touch, every kiss, every caress that he placed upon my skin. With him in my arms, at long last, Yami Yugi would make me believe in hope, in trust, in eternity. In everything that is him, and in everything that is me. In everything that are us, together.

He continues to say to me those words, softly, repeatedly, as if I would forget if he didn't. But, of course, I will never forget. And I will never tire of hearing him say those words, to me. For of all the rash decisions I've ever had, I've finally made the one that truly, wholly pleased me with my power to make a choice, to stand up for what I want. This was -- is the best choice I've ever made. And I will hold on to it. Forever.

-o-o-o-

I am Atem, once Pharaoh of Egypt. I lingered in the world of the living for three thousand years, all the while believing that my sole mission was to find my lost memories. But now, as I bury myself deeper in my beloved's warm embrace, I realize that I have journeyed, and suffered, for three millennia in order to find, not just my past, but also my future. My destiny. I have defeated time in order to find him. In order to love him. And I have no regrets. No more loneliness. Only pure bliss in love that transcends the depths of eternity.

Tonight, I gaze tenderly at my beloved's face and, seeing the soft glow of contentment upon him as he slept, I smile. Seto Kaiba has finally found the peace he has long sought. And so have I. I may have been in the afterlife for some time now, yet it is only recently that I have entered paradise. In his arms. Forever.

And ever.

owari (The End)