Title: Anaesthetic
Author: Angel Leviathan
Disclaimer: Doctor Who, characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.
Spoilers: Vague for everything, I guess.
Notes: Since the show is shot around here, I had to include the Gower really as the Gower and an actual beach on it.:)
She runs ahead of him, feet pounding on the sand, spinning round and round like a child. Rose smiles up at the sky as she spins, then runs on again. She pulls off the jacket she's wearing and throws it behind her, knowing it will be caught. The sun is shining and the sky is blue and she's just happy. The sea seems far away, but she won't be beaten, and she'll reach it eventually. The beach goes on for miles, miles of clean, golden sand, tall cliffs with little white clouds dotted around that have to be sheep with a taste for the dangerous life.
"What did you say this place was called again?" Rose calls back, pausing momentarily.
"Rhosili. South Wales. We're around an hour and a quarter from Cardiff," the Doctor replies, slinging her jacket over his shoulder.
"I thought it always rained in Wales."
"Yeah, but the coast always gets summer before the rest of Britain," he paces steadily along behind her, smiling as she breaks into a run again. Its good to see her smile. Its always good to see her smile.
Rose can see the bright sun glinting off the sea and she wants to reach it at a faster pace than the Doctor seems to want to travel. She somehow envisioned him running along beside her when he said they were going to the beach. But she's realised now that he only seems to run when he has to. And god knows they do enough running already. He seems strangely quiet and restrained. She's running like a little girl, shrieking with laughter, and he's behaving like a guardian. Like the responsible one. Which he is, of course, but it makes her feel small. He can be just as immature and silly as she can be, and it somehow hurts that he isn't joining her.
Sometimes he hurts her more than she can ever say. Sometimes is becoming more and more often these days. There are times when she wonders if he sees her as a charge he has to look after. She has got into her fair share of trouble, granted, but she's also saved his backside on more occasions than he will ever admit. She used to be sure that when he called her a silly little girl he didn't mean it…now she has doubts. He has the universe in the palm of his hand, and he has to have secrets, but it doesn't stop her hurting when he refuses to tell her things. Rose thinks she might be in love with him. To hell with might. She thinks she is. And she thinks he knows it. Whether he loves her back, in that way, is a void point, as she knows he loves her on some level, but the innocence and the determination to ignore what could be dangerous in their relationship often drives her mad. It hurts to love him and be afraid of saying it. Because, for all she knows, time might just, literally, stop.
Rose runs along the beach and pretends she's free. The TARDIS might not be cramped, but sometimes she finds herself feeling trapped. They can go anywhere in the universe, but its always together. She doesn't usually have a problem with that, but when they're both pretending everything's fine…that's when the problems start. And the pain and the heartache and the need to…run away. She wonders if he really is oblivious. Its not like she'll get an answer anyway. Rose slows to a walk, brushing her hair from her face. She catches her breath for a moment, before her jacket hits her square in the face and a hand grips hers.
"Come on, keep up!" the Doctor teases, dragging her along at a running pace.
She catches her jacket before it falls to the ground and has to practically jump into a run. Her laughter joins his, and she knows she really does love him, and, because of this, she'll put up with the pain it causes her. Maybe he really doesn't know he hurts her. Maybe he really is as innocent as she tries to be.
…Or maybe he does and he isn't…
But she trusts him to never truly break her. That she can only do herself.
Fin