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Broken promises
By sushi-genius
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She thought a part of her was torn out.
Touya had refused to see her even until the persuasion of her parents. She felt as though she had lost a brother. He did not stop by the house anymore and when she went to his townhouse, she was rudely informed by the butler that her brother was otherwise occupied.
It had been a week since the announcement of her engagement to Syaoran but Touya was still fuming with anger. Twice he had left the balls when he saw her approaching. She tried to tell herself that it was because she had approached him with her arm hooked with Syaoran's was that the reason for his avoidance. Except the fact that he had even refused to see her in his own home was blatantly obvious enough.
She was so upset that thrice she had refused Syaoran for a ride in the park even when riding was one of her favourite past times. She had not seen him since that day when they had announced the engagement. It still came as a shock to her that one, she was engaged and two, to her brother's worse enemy. Although she had nothing but herself to blame.
She had never thought that she would be in a loveless marriage. She knew she cared about him but did she love him. Somehow she felt that her feelings were not deep enough to be counted a love but yet deep enough that it was more than adore. She was also unsure of his feelings for her. He wanted her but did he like her?
It was depressing to know nothing of her own fiancé except that she burned and melted at his kisses. However, was that enough for a successful marriage? Her fiancé was a renowned rake. She would satisfy herself by saying that reform rakes make the best husbands but what if her rake does not reform? What if after their marriage he still sought the beds of other sophisticated women? She knew her heart would break then.
Sakura sighed. Her faithful companion perked up his ears and came over to lick her hand. She stroked his fur as she contemplated her future. She was seated in the library with a book on her lap. An hour had past and she was still on the same page.
"Thinking of me?" A deep voice drawled out as Syaoran appeared at the doorway.
Shocked, Sakura quickly stood up, dropping the book in the process. Before she could react, Syaoran swiftly picked it up, flipping through the pages.
"Gone with the Wind," he read out the title. He looked at her puzzlingly. "Isn't this in Latin?"
She nodded her head, the brand of bluestocking already tattooed on her forehead. Instead of the usual 'females need not be heard but seen', he just smiled at her and handed the book over.
A deep growling could be heard as Kero bared his fangs. It was the usual reaction the opposite gender received whenever he came to close to his mistress.
She looked on in surprise as instead of backing away from her pet, Syaoran bent down and patted in on its head. Kero immediately quitted his bluster and let out a happy bark, licking Syaoran all over his face.
"His name is Kero." Somehow she felt inclined to introduce her dog who had somehow come to adore Syaoran. That horrid traitor! "He is a mix breed."
"He is a good dog," Syaoran replied as he stood up. Kero let out a whine when he was not petted anymore and went to rub his head against his mistress's legs. "Who gave him to you?"
"Touya found him in a barn and brought him home," She answered, scratching the dog behind his ears. "He wanted him to keep me accompany while he was away at Eton." At the mention of her brother, she grew quiet, her eyes slowly filling up with tears.
She blinked in surprise when Syaoran took hold of her left hand and slipped a ring onto her ring finger. She gazed at the simple yet elegant ring on her finger which held an emerald and diamonds beside it.
"This is your betrothal ring," he explained, as he gazed into her eyes. She could feel her heart beat faster as she lost herself in the depths of amber.
"Thank you," she said softly, looking away. "It is lovely, I shall treasure it always."
Then without warning, her tears started to fall. She covered her hands with her face and began sobbing. Stunned, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her shaking body. Her dog encircling their bodies, licking her feet.
She pushed herself away from his chest, wiping away her tears. "I am fine."
He smiled a sad smile, tilting her face towards his. "I don't think so. What's wrong?"
She bit her lips, her feelings pouring out in a gush. "It's Touya," she blurted out, her tears trailing down her cheeks. "I've hurt him so badly. Now, he does not want to have anything to do with me."
She placed her head in his chest, willing the tears to stop. "I don't know what to do anymore."
Syaoran patted her back, silent anger directed at Touya. If Touya wanted to blame someone, then blame him. He was the one that taunted her with her hairclip, forcing her to go to his room. It was not her fault that she was attacked by the bloody son of a bitch and then forced to marry him. It somehow seemed very unfair to him that Sakura was shouldering all the blame.
He handed her a handkerchief, a plan forming in his head. It was a time to bring this to an end. She sniffed and took the handkerchief from him, drying her eyes.
"Don't worry." He found himself assuring her. "Touya will come through his senses. After all, you are his only sister."
Unsure of his comment, Sakura nodded, feeling more miserable by the moment. "Did you come here only to pass me the ring?"
"And to talk of our wedding plans."
"Oh." Suddenly, Sakura did not feel like entertaining him anymore. Part of her wanted to stop this charade, to end this and resume her life as always. Yet, she wanted to be married to no one but Syaoran. He trilled her like no one ever did in her life, arousing feelings that she never thought he had. "Have you discussed this with my mother?"
"I thought of asking you first," he said pointedly. "After all, you are the one getting married, not her."
"It depends whether you want a long engagement or a short one," he continued. Sakura sank back into the chair, not sure of how to react. "Although I prefer a short one."
She jerked back when his hands caressed the side of her face.
"Why is it that I cannot control myself whenever I am with you?" he asked harshly. Her lips were always a temptation to him, like Eve to the apple in the Garden of Eden. "Even now, I want to kiss you."
What answer could she possibly have to that? She trembled when his lips touched hers, just the slightest touch, brushing to and fro. Then suddenly, he stopped.
"I can't do this," he mumbled, lifting up his head. Sakura sat there in shock. Was he getting tired of her already? Were her worse dreams coming true?
"My lord," Sakura meekly said. Syaoran turned to look at her. She lifted her head bravely and looked at him squarely in the eye. "There is something you must promise me. Or else, I won't marry you."
"And what is it that is so grave to your heart?"
Sakura hesitated before plunging on. "I won't accept you having a mistress no matter what I said previously," she said determinedly, her posture like a queen's. "It is a matter of honoring your vows," she carried on to explain, her fingers wringing her dress.
"I see."
She looked at him and was annoyed to see a grin on his face. "Does that thought amuse you so, my lord?" she said curtly, pinning him with her emerald gaze. She could not help but feel hurt at his callous behavior.
"I am afraid so," he answered honestly. His grin fell when he witnessed the hurt look on her face. "You don't suppose I would cheat on you? Adultery is not high on my list!"
"Says the one who I caught committing adultery right on the balcony!" she shot back. The scene of him and his mistress burned fresh in her mind. How many more women were there? "Isn't she one of your conquests?"
"Firstly, it is rude to spy. Secondly, both of us are not exclusive anymore." Seeing her blank look, he carried on to explain. "I broke things off with her as well as many others when I met you."
"You lie."
"It is true, whether you believe it or not." His voice took on a hard edge, his jaw in a grim line. "I would warn you never to question my word."
"Even in marriage?" She could not help but ask, not hiding the biting fury in her voice. "Seriously, my lord, I have learnt that words mean nothing at all. Actions speak louder than words."
"Well then, let me prove it to you."
He caught hold of her hand and pulled her to him. "Let me go!"
"Not a chance," he shot back, angry that she would doubt his word. "Like you said, action speaks louder than words."
His lips caught hers in a bruising kiss, his hand forcing her jaw to open. She resisted him, her lips unmoving while tears of frustrations flowed down her cheeks. His lips trailed down her neck, awaking feelings that she did not welcome.
"Stop it," she managed to cry out, afraid that her body might betray her. "You have made your point."
Syaoran felt like a bastard when he saw her tears and lessened his hold on her. His head snapped sideways when she slapped him. His face stung as he stared at her with open eyes.
Disgusted by her own actions, Sakura took a step backwards and recoil her hand back. She was shocked and stood rooted to the ground. Never in her entire life had she ever laid a hand on someone else before. Her own hand stung where it had made contact with Syaoran's face.
There was a telltale sign on his face, his cheek turning red.
Neither of them moved for the next couple of minutes. Sakura braced herself for the fury that she was about to receive. Her heart dropped when Syaoran turned and walked out of the room without acknowledgement.
Was this the end? she thought to herself. It had been inexcusable for her to slap him. After all, he was not the only one that had stolen a kiss from her. She shuddered at the thought of Lord Everly, the nightmares that plagued her every night.
Yet, she was upset rather than angry at Syaoran's unwarranted attack. She had not expected to be treated that way. Somehow, she had thought that he was different, the man she was marrying was better than that.
He had proven her wrong
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Syaoran boarded his carriage without a backward glance at the house. Fury burnt his gut when he recalled how they had parted. He was irate - how could he allow himself to treat her like that?
He remembered Lord Everly and his self-loathing grew as he compared himself with Everly. What difference was there between him and that pig? Both of them had forced themselves on Sakura, reducing her to tears. But he cared - Everly did not.
He had cared that he was the one that caused her tears and regretted terribly for his actions. He did not blame her for slapping her - he deserved every bit of it. And yet, the impact of it had stunned him, woken him up to see his actions.
Was Sakura ever going to trust him again? Somehow, someway, he swore to himself, he would make her care for him. He had not realized how much he needed her affection. He wanted to deserve it in order for her to give it freely.
She was an affectionate and caring person, he could see that. She was tearing herself apart when her brother was ignoring her. She was close to her family - she was willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of her family.
He was proud that he was marrying Sakura but he needed to know that she cared for him in order to make the marriage work. At first, he was only satisfied with a ton marriage. With Sakura, he wanted more than that. He wanted to awake with her lying beside him. He wanted her to be on his arm every single party and ball they went to. But mostly, he wanted her to love him.
Maybe if she loved him, she could teach him how to love in return.
He considered himself disabled when it comes to matters of the heart. Too many years of war had turned him cold and cynical. He knew nothing of love. All of his years he had showered his mistresses with jewelry and dresses but nothing deeper. One of his mistresses had once commented that he was like a diamond - shiny and lovely on the outside but cold and hard inside. He did not disagree with her.
Was she still in love with Tsukishiro? His stomach clenched at that thought. He could not marry her knowing that she loved another, no matter how much he wanted her. In the beginning, he cared for naught, now he was not so sure.
If he had his way they would be married a week ago. However, he wanted her approval as well as letting her have an engagement. The only thing he had been afraid of was her backing out of this. Her uncertainty worried him. There may a chance that she would cry off especially after his treatment of her this afternoon.
He had to make it up to her and he knew how.
Two hours later, he found himself at the doorstep of the Marquess of Havenwood. He knocked on the door which was answered by an elderly butler.
"The Marquess is not in," the butler told him in a superior voice. Syaoran resisted the urge to put the butler in his place. After all, he was a duke and deserved better treatment than this!
"If the Marquess is in and you do not let me enter," Syaoran warned with a deadly voice, his eyes a pale amber. The butler gulped, wiping his hands on his livery. "I will show you a fate worse than death."
"Well then your grace. Please come in. The Marquess is situated in the study."
Syaoran smiled for the first time over two hours and walked through the door. His boots clicked against the shining marble floor as he followed the butler.
Photos hung on the walls. Syaoran grinned as he spotted painting of Sakura. She was seated on the grass with a bonnet on her head, looking far away. He wanted to pocket that painting and hang it within his own walls.
The butler led his to a huge oak door. "My lord is inside."
Syaoran dismissed the butler with a curt nod and opened the door. Havenwood was staring outside the window blankly with a glass of brandy in his hand. Syaoran grinned with admiration when he noticed than almost half the whiskey was gone in the bottle on the table.
"Havenwood," Syaoran called out, his voice hard and cold. He could not help but feel dislike towards him, even more so when he was causing Sakura pain.
Touya was shocked, the glass in his hand dropped onto the floor, breaking into a thousand pieces. The deafening sound resounded around the room, like a bomb that was set off.
Syaoran took joy in Touya's appearance. He was unkempt. He obviously had not shaved in a few days and his dark raven hair for once was messy.
"What do you want?" Touya commanded in a hostile tone. He was face to face with the man who he hated above all others. The man that was to marry his sister.
Touya could not comprehend what had happened. He could not come to terms with the matter. The image of his sister in Li's arms had seared his mind. His sister's betrayal had cut deep into his soul.
When had it started? He could not help but ask himself. He for once did not believe that they knew each other since he was in Eton. His sister had never once visited him and he had made sure that Li and Sakura did not meet. Yet somehow, fate had meddled with his plans, handing him the biggest joke.
He could not stomach the thought of Li and himself becoming relatives. The thought was almost ironic. The fact that his sister had not confided in him hurt most of all. She had not trusted him enough. However, he would have surely disapproved of it from the start so there was no point.
It scared him that his sister was growing up. It was going to be hard to hand over his responsibilities to another, even harder when the person was Li.
He found that he could not bring himself to be happy over this marriage. That was why he avoided his sister whenever he could. He had no right to force his sister to give up her happiness for his own selfish reasons but he knew that his disapproval would upset her. Thus, he kept his distance. It was hard. He would rather slice off his arm with a blunt sword.
Someday, he would be able to accept it, to be able to be in the presence of Sakura and Li without cringing, without frowning and most of all, to be able to give them his blessings. However, now was not the time, especially when his nemesis was in his study.
"I want to end this," Syaoran said firmly, looking Touya in the eye. It was time to bring all of this to an end.
Touya scoffed, resentment eating him inside. "And what makes you think that I will be willing to end this?"
Syaoran could not help but smile. "Because you will do anything to make your sister happy. And with both of us getting along with each other, she will be happy."
Touya felt his defences crumbling. Sakura's happiness was the most important thing in his life but was he willing to bury this grudge? "It doesn't matter if I approve or not. Both of you will be getting married anyway."
Syaoran slammed his fist against Touya's face, frustration building up inside. Touya fell backwards. A crash was heard as a table overturned. Blood trickled down the corner of Touya's mouth as he looked at Syaoran with burning hatred.
"Go on, hit me back," Syaoran taunted, keeping his eyes on Touya. "I know you have been dying to get your hands on me."
Touya pushed himself up and hurled himself onto Syaoran. Glass broke as Syaoran was throw against a glass cabinet. Glass pieces like rain, fell onto them both, blood dripping down their faces.
With a yell, Syaoran turned to face Touya and both of them went for each other. Furniture were overturned and papers were strewn all around the room as both of them let out the contempt they had for the other. Touya kneed Syaoran in the ribs while Syaoran punched him in the stomach.
Battered and bruise, they stood facing each other, both unwilling to give up. Suddenly Syaoran straightened and wiped away the blood from his face.
"Don't you think that this is stupid?" Syaoran commented, wincing as he prodded at a tender spot around his eye which would soon form into a bruise. "Both of us going at each other like there is no tomorrow. What would we get from this?"
"I for once would get immense satisfaction for punching your face in," Touya conceded, grimacing he sat down on the chair. "But as far as I hate to say this, you are right."
Syaoran helped himself to Touya's whiskey, blinking in pain as the drink burned his raw throat. He felt bruised all over his body. He thought he had been knocked down by a carriage. It had been a long time since he had fought with his bare fists. His knuckles were scraped raw.
Insouciant as he may have wanted to appear, Touya could not help but ask the one thing that had been on his mind. "Why Sakura?"
Syaoran's hand paused midway to his mouth as he pondered. "Because I am attracted to her."
"But you are not in love with her," Touya prodded, getting more confuse by the minute.
"Did you know that on the same night, Belmont was going to offer for her?"
Syaoran froze, his blood going cold. He did not know how Sakura would react to this news. Probably call for the engagement for her love, he thought grimly, letting the bitter liquid flow down his throat. No matter what, he could not and would not let her go.
He swallowed hard, his voice trembled as he spoke. "Whatever you do, do not tell Sakura about this." He looked at Touya hard, hoping to intimidate him with a glare. It however did not work.
"Why the hell shouldn't I tell her," Touya demanded, still bitter about the engagement. "After all, it should not affect her. She is engaged to you!"
Syaoran let the sarcasm in Touya's voice, his co-operation was vital in keeping this secret. "I don't want her to feel bad. I know how close she is to Belmont,"
Seeing the desperate look on Syaoran face, Touya sighed. "Hell, if this is for revenge, I will not hesitate to kill you."
Syaoran flared up. "Don't you dare say that this is for revenge," Syaoran warned, his voice low and menacing. "What I have with Sakura is more than that. Honestly, I don't give a damn about what transpired between us. It was so long ago."
"But it still happened," Touya retorted, his face grim. "I wanted to marry that girl. You ruined everything for me."
"She was nothing but a common trollop! She would have spread her legs for anyone."
"I hated you ever since that night," Touya spat, anger resurfacing all over again. "All along in Eton we competed in every single thing. You were in my face most of the time. What a blow I felt when you stole her from me."
"It was all physical, it meant nothing to me."
"Even now, you are still stealing what I treasure most in this world."
Syaoran straightened up. It was time to settle this once and for all. "Sakura made her own choice. I did not steal her from you."
"I still cannot believe it," Touya confessed, running his hands through his hair. "But now that she has you, she does not have to worry about me."
"That is bullshit!" Syaoran shouted, his fists clenched at his side. One wrong word and his hand would have made contact with Touya's face once again. "Because of you, she has been miserable. She does not allow me to escort her to parks and she locks herself in the house."
Touya's face showed his worry and Syaoran plunged on, taking the chance. "She has lost weigh. She needs you by her side right now. If you don't give your blessings, there is no way on earth that she will be willing to marry me."
"Will you grant her happiness? If you don't, I cannot give her to you."
"What do you think?" Syaoran asked, gazing outside the window. "For her, I have to be relatives with you! I am making a huge sacrifice here."
"Same here and I did not even ask for it."
Both of them grinned, having come to a agreement. Syaoran turned and walked towards the door. "Promise me that you will see Sakura by today."
Touya nodded. "Yes, but don't think that makes us friends now."
Syaoran turned back and smirked. "It is worse. We will be relatives soon."
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Sakura hurled the jewelry box on to the floor, the sapphire necklace spilling out on to the floor. The sight of it irked her.
How dare he deliver this to me! Sakura fumed, her face red with fury. Petals were strewn around the room as she had deflowered an entire bouquet of roses that had been sending to her. She reread the note that she had crumpled in her anger.
Dear Sakura,
Pray forgive me for my misconduct this afternoon. I seek your forgiveness with this gift and I hope I will still be able to see you at our engagement party tomorrow with it around your neck.
Your fiancé , Syaoran Li
Did he think that she was so easy to pacify? She was not like other ladies of the town. Precious stones and furs and dresses meant nothing to her. They helped to beautify but nothing more. Did she appear that shallow to him?
The fear that he might treat her like most ladies of the ton was instilled deep within her. Rather than choosing dresses, she preferred riding and staying out in the sun. That was one of the reasons why her skin was slightly tanner than the rest.
She looked at the dress which her maid had hung up in her wardrobe. It was deep blue and had a high waist. She fingered the material and wondered how on earth did he find out that her gown was blue. Her mother had ordered it especially for her engagement party and even she did not see it until today.
She straightened up when she heard footsteps along the hallway. True enough, there was someone entering her room.
Her heart swell when she saw it was her brother. She rushed towards him and stopped, unsure of how he would receive her. Her tears fell when he opened up his arms and she threw herself into his chest sobbing.
"I am so sorry," she choked out, her tears soaking up his shirt. "I did not mean to hurt you."
Touya held his sister with trembling arms. He was the cause for her tears and he knew that her happiness was in his hands. He stroked her hair softly. "I am sorry too. I was an ass. I overreacted."
Sakura shook her head fiercely; a curl of hair came loose from the pin. "It was entirely my fault. If I only had not-"
Touya shushed her before she could continue. "I don't blame you."
It was surprising how much those words meant to her. Her heart lifted as she looked up at her brother. He had been her protector since young and she knew how much her marriage would kill him. Yet, he still gave her his blessings.
She stepped back and finally noticed the bruises and cuts on his face. "What happened to you? Did you get knocked down by a carriage?"
Touya could not but grin at her exclamation. "If I had been knocked down by a carriage, I would have suffered more than just minor bruises." He patted Kero that was prancing about at his feet. "The fact is that I met your fiancé."
"Syaoran?" Sakura gasped out in shock, her legs feeling like rubber beneath her. She could not help but worry what had happened between them. "He caused you to look like this?"
Touya bristled. "He does not look so good himself either," Touya said defensively, annoyed that his sister had thought that he was weaker than Syaoran. "I think he looks worse than I did."
Sakura's stomach turned as she imagined Syaoran with serious injuries. Her nails bit into her brother's arms as she enquired about her fiancé. "Is he seriously injured? Touya, I have told you so many times to mind your own strength. Now see what you have done!"
Touya took a step back, unaware of how to react. He looked at her anxious face and he felt as though he had been punched. She had obviously cared for Syaoran; she wore her emotions on her face. There was nothing he could do now, just hand over his position willingly and hoped for the best.
"He is fine," he heard himself reassuring her. "Only suffering from bruises like me. What do you think we did, throw ourselves at cupboards?" He had neglected to inform her of the damage that their fight had caused. The fight that had occurred in his own house to which he had to pay for the damages! He was making sure that Syaoran would pay for at least half of it.
That somehow seemed to ease Sakura's tension a little as she sat down on her bed. Touya immediately took notice of the ring on her finger and he tried to force a smile.
"I will be moving back to the house for about two weeks," he announced in a matter of fact tone. Sakura looked at him, puzzlement evident in her eyes. "I will be acting as your 'chaperon'"
That was the excuse that he had came up with when he decided that he was going to keep an eye on the relationship between Li and his sister. Any mistreatment of his sister and he would make sure that the engagement was off regardless of what anyone else said. Then he noticed the flower petals on the floor as well as the necklace.
He walked over and picked the necklace up, admiring the cutting of the blue stone. He looked at Sakura whose eyes had sharpened into slits upon seeing the necklace. She apparently found the object offensive.
"Did Syaoran give you this?" If possible, her look had darkened. "I can't remember seeing you having this before."
"Yes, he did," she said, her voice sounding strained to his ears. "He also sent me a bouquet of flowers this morning."
"Where is the bouquet?" Although the answer was clear, he could not help but ask. He could not understand why his sister would destroy the presents bestowed on her by Li, who she was reputed to love. "Lovers' quarrel?"
Sakura refused to answer and gave her brother a withering look. Thanks to him, she was once again reminded of Syaoran's demeaning actions. She still could not contemplate what she did to deserve such a treatment.
"Are you coming tonight?" she asked, determined to change the topic. She did not feel right discussing Syaoran with her brother. "Mother will be so happy that you will be staying."
"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world."
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Sakura donned the blue gown over her chemise, letting the silky material hug her body. It was exquisite. The bodice was low yet demure, hugging her breasts. The dress shaped her figure, the colour like midnight blue.
Her hair was piled at the top of her head. Shiny and silky curls framed her face. Long and sooty eyelashes complimented her eyes, which looked like glowing emeralds.
She hesitated for a moment before clasped the sapphire necklace around her neck. After all, it did match her dress. She slowly made her way down to the ballroom; the party was already on in full-scale.
Tonight was her night, she told herself, taking in deep breaths. For some reason or another, she was haunted by some inner anxiety. There was a part of her that feared that Syaoran was not going to turn up tonight considering the way they had parted that morning. His note had not reassured her least.
Then almost by instinct, she knew that he was beside her.
"I was worried that you would not come tonight," she confessed as she took his arm.
"This is my engagement party."
With that, her fears vanished and they walked down the stairs. Immediately, they were surrounded by well-wishers, congratulating them on their upcoming marriage. She smiled and thanked them.
She could sense some of their surprise as they inquired about how they had met. Syaoran was almost silent throughout, only replying in clipped answers. Sakura's unease returned as she gazed at his stonily features.
As if sensing the tension, the people around them began to give them a wide berth as they carried on with the activities. Suddenly, he broke into a smile as he left her side, walking hurriedly to the group that had just arrived.
Touya walked up to her, handing her a glass of wine. "That would be his family," Touya explained, gesturing to the five ladies. "Your future relatives."
She took a sip of wine. The night was not going as she had expected. She could sense Syaoran's displeasure at her and she only hoped that her parents and her brother had not noticed. He had not even asked her to dance!
Syaoran walked back to her, taking hold of her hand. He nodded a greeting at Touya before turning to Sakura.
"I would like to introduce you to my family," he said as his arms encircled her waist. They made their way through the crowd. "And please do not show your displeasure on your face."
"My displeasure?" She gasped out. "What on earth are you talking-"
Before she could continue, she was face to face with his family. She swallowed a lump in her throat as she faced one of the most formidable women that she had ever seen. She prayed for courage as she braced herself. But most of all, she prayed that they would accept her.
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A/N I could only finish this chapter after my prelims. I am so happy with my results that I decided to speed up. I can't wait for my exams to be finally over!
Please review! Your opinion matters.