Disclaimer: Not only do I not own Harry Potter, I don't even own the idea, as I am borrowing it from Rorschach's Blot's omake in Odd Ideas.

Animagus Uh-oh

"Just focus on your inner animal," McGonagall advised. Harry was taking a super duper advanced Animagus elective and he wanted to get things right the first time.

"Alright Professor," Harry agreed.

The students watched in shock as Harry began to transform. His arms and legs became more muscle and his clothing tore off, unable to handle the strain. Long tentacles grew out of his back and chest . . . you guessed it, Harry was the first tentacle demon Animagus in history.

"I suggest running away," McGonagall screamed on her way to the door. "Mr. Potter may not be able to control his new instincts for a few minutes."

All of the girls screamed and rushed out of the classroom . . . that is to say, all of them except for one.

"You guys go ahead," she called out to her retreating classmates. "I want to try something."

"Retineo-Votum" cried Hermione, casting a lovely spell she had found in the library, perfect for fellow students who don't understand that she just wasn't interested in them. Sadly the spell only seemed to agitate Harry, now a giant mass complete with writhing tentacles.

Realizing her folly, Hermione bolted towards the still open door, only to be stymied as Harry lunged toward her and used his superior 'reach' to slam the door shut, then hooked his appendage around her leg and began to drag her towards him.

Bugger! I hope Harry can forgive me… Hermione mused as she began casting her ace in the hole. With a brutal slashing motion and a firm "Castro" Hermione used her only firmly Dark Art spell. The Castration spell had been the product of her special research after Draco appeared to discover his hormones late last year. Should it have ever come to that, well, she would have claimed self-defense. Sadly, this time proved that books and self study are inadequate teachers alone for the Dark Arts, and with the wrong emotional input the spell failed to do more than produce a sickly off white glow that didn't even leave the wand.

Said white glow only attracted Harry's attention and he quickly knocked her wand away from her and then pulled her further into his clutches…

break

At first glance it wasn't an odd sight to see Harry and Hermione enter the Great Hall together without Ron. Ever since they took the elective animagus course without him, he would arrive earlier in order to eat more. Not even Harry apologizing profusely was too out of place. No, the odd sight was Hermione's bowlegged limp and thousand watt smile.

AN: Gotta keep it at least clean (in the literal sense if not in the implications) if I want this to stay on I have NOT made a lemon scene, because, although it would be interesting to try, I don't want to post this a million places.