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He agreed and tried to sound a little less delighted with the idea. He was in heaven. He was so happy he was certain he could not have been more. His little girl, the gorgeous woman that was haunting him every night, his every dream, with her deep black eyes and that bright smile that was able to run him out of his mind, totally absorbed by her, hypnotised, the princess of his whole world – if not the queen – had just phoned him to ask him out. Well, more or less, he thought with a smile. She had just invited him to her place to watch a film and spend the night together. He was delighted. He was over the moon, joyous, ecstatic. He was totally in love. As he forced himself to go on with a normal conversation on the phone, listening to her –even if it was becoming really hard for him not to scream how he loved her at the top of his lungs – and answering in a normal way, his mind was focused on her only. How she would be sitting on the sofa while they spoke, looking nowhere and playing with the cord, how she would look, her face, her smile, how she bit her lower lip while he was talking... He needed her. So much! "Well, Toran, my sweet... I should go upstairs now... Mom's calling me..." He nodded and said a sad farewell while he felt his heart tearing apart. Within a few seconds she would be at home, doing whatever her mother wanted her to do. And he would be alone. So alone and desperate he would not be able to bear it. Not after talking to her, not after she had brought her light to his life, he would not be able to live through the hours that were left until they met again. But he would, thought absentminded, still talking to her, he would for he was going to see her later, only a few hours later. "Well, so, see you later, uh...?" "Sure", he exclaimed, knowing that those were the last lines she would speak before she hung up. "Are you sure you don't have anything better to do...? I mean, it's just a film, and..." "No", he shook his head to give emphasis, although she couldn't see him, "I'll never have anything better to do than spending any minute of my life with you!!" He heard her chuckle and wondered if he had been too enthusiastic. Ugh, no wondering, he had...! 'Never mind', he heavily thought. 'Since it's already done...' "That's exactly how I feel around you, you know?", she asked, her voice almost dreamy, his heart racing and his eyes wide open. "What do you mean...?" "Just what I said...! I'll never have anything better in my life than you, either. Never." He felt his chest full with emotion and happiness and smiled brightly. Yay! "You have to go, huh...?", he asked, fearful of a positive response and trying to find a way to retain her longer. He heard her sigh, tiredly. "I suppose I should... I don't know what mum wants, but... But I guess she can wait for some minutes more...", she ended naughtily. He felt relieved when he heard that she was going to stay a bit longer with him, even if it was on the phone, and sat down more comfortably in his armchair. "So, little Panny, we can talk a bit more...?" "Yep!", she exclaimed, happily. "How's life going, Toran...?" He smiled at the nickname. Only she used that nick for him and he had to recognise that he just loved when she did. It was just a short form from his name, Torankusu, but the way she used it was what made it so special. She always said it in a soft whisper, caressing and sweet, with a smile... He could see her, intently, as if she were really beside him. "Nothing special...", he finally answered. "Still the same boring, most eligible bachelor's life...?" He chuckled softly at her matter-of-factly voice. He remained the same, year after year. "Why...? Did you expect me to change...?" She chuckled as well. "Me...? No..!! I've known you all my life and all my life you've been the same old Trunks... The perfect bachelor... So attractive..." He blushed at her words "But, still, bored, alone, even if you don't want to tell, feeling you don't fit in your life..." He nodded silently, knowing she could not notice. Bored... yes, he was, his job was boring and monotonous, never catching his attention. Some people had asked him how he was able to deal with the pressure and he himself wondered for a while, until his angel came with the answer. For him there was no pressure. He didn't like his job and had never got interested enough to get involved. It was his work, nothing else. He'd seen her programming in the middle of the night, in bed, having dinner. For her, her work was a dare, something she liked to do, a problem she could not forget until she solved it, either in the office or at home. It was not her life, but she enjoyed herself doing it. For him, though, it was something that had to be done. It was the job that his mother had ordered him to do. It was a way to earn money. He hated it. And was mortally bored. That without taking into account the foolishness he had to bear everyday in the office with the secretaries having crushes on him. Torture. And alone... Alone...? How did she know that he was alone...? "Panny... tell me, are you alone...?", he went on, lost in his thoughts. How did she know that he was alone if he had never told anybody?! For he was alone since the morning, half a year before, when she first shined in his life. In fact, it was not like that. It had not been the first time she had shone... she'd probably been shinning since she was born. Being a teenager when she was born, their relationship had always been a special one... He was not a member of the family but was treated as an older brother or similar. She grew up by his side. She became a young pretty girl. And, god, how it hurt him. He found she did not need him anymore that she had grown up and he had been betrayed by time, for then he was no longer the worshipped older friend he'd been for her. He wanted her to go back in time until she was again little Panny and stay like that forever. Luckily, he got over it really quickly. He accepted the changes, simply, not knowing how to judge them. And still he had never felt that he was alone. Never. Little by little, little Panny became charming Panny, young, self-confident, lovely and so pretty that it hurt. He stopped seeing her as the child she had been, he forgot who she was and somehow the connection between the woman she was and the girl she'd been became weaker and weaker, only reminded when they talked about the past, that was very few times. She became his best friend. His only friend. The only one he cared for. She, who always had said that friendship between a man and a woman both single and heterosexual, was impossible. It would certainly develop into something more. "Sometimes, Toran... Some nights, when I can't sleep... Life seems heavier in the night, in bed, doesn't it?" Uh, yes, it did! "Aha... but what's the matter, Panny...?", he asked, worried. To love someone is not something you can choose. And he did not, god, he was sure he hadn't. He didn't have a very good concept of himself, in fact he considered himself too low for his angel. And Pan was just so... fresh...! So... full of life...! The morning he had realised how alone he was, was the morning after Pan's first business trip abroad. She had just been promoted to director of her department and went abroad to a convention. She had left that very morning, very early, having convinced him not to go to the airport to farewell her. A day, a whole day, without the perspective of seeing her, of having lunch with her, as usual, something he'd had for what seemed ages, one single day knowing that she would not appear in his office was... more than he could bear. And then, just then, he realised she'd been shining on him and that he needed her, that he was addicted to her so badly that perhaps it was more than friendship and... maybe... but... it could not be...! That night, the first night he was conscious of how alone he'd been his whole life; he started wondering if the need for her was something more than the need for a best friend. When she came back, only two days later, just seeing her and embracing her – he couldn't help himself, he had missed her badly – he had no doubts. What he was feeling could be nothing but love. He loved her. Since then, as she herself had said, he had kept being the most eligible bachelor... but just outside. Inside him was a man who was totally in love and who was dying to stop being bachelor, inside him, his only thought was her, he missed her the second after saying goodbye, he loved her deeply, painfully. Slowly, he came back to reality. She had kept silent for a little while after his last question. "Panny...?", he asked, worried. "It's nothing...", she said, thoughtful. "Your mother's calling...?" "No, no...!" He bit his lower lip. She was not very well, she was a bit sad and thoughtful... He could tell by her voice. He wished he could see her, smell her hair, touch her soft cheeks and comfort her. "Panny... do you feel alone now...? Do... do you want me to come, darling...?" "No... I'm good... Just... sorry. I had no right to remind you that you're bored and alone... I mean..." He smiled softly, still concerned. "No, Panny, it doesn't matter! Come on!! I'm alone! And bored!! But only when I'm not with you...!" "Still...", came her voice, sorry, "I had no right..." "You did nothing bad, you hear me?" "But it made you silent..." He chuckled and imagined her face, sorry, looking to the ground, her lips showing how much she cared, her long black silky hair falling straight, hiding just a bit of her beautiful face. "I was just thinking of you, Panny" "Of me...?!", she asked, surprised. "What were you thinking of...?" He whispered silently. Great. What could he say he was thinking of, huh? How much he loved her? When he had realised that he was alone...? That could serve... but it was dangerous as well! "I was thinking that I've not always felt alone... And that I only feel alone when you're not around, Panny. So, look, maybe my life's changed after all...! I'm not the same old Trunks!" "I'm glad you don't feel alone when I'm around... It... it makes me feel... loved..." Uh, loved. If she only know how much!!! "You are, sweet" "You are too, honey!", she exclaimed, a smile on her voice, as he forced himself to stay calm, it meant nothing at all. "Well, Trunks, now I should really go... I've got things to do and..." Bad news, huh? He felt his heart break at the thought. "Yes... Go, go, I'm keeping you here... I'm sorry." "No, don't be! I love talking to you and you know it!" "But you have things to do... I'll be there in less than two hours... Shall I bring something...?" "No, nothing... Just a bright smile on that cute face of yours, ok?" "Only if I see one on yours!" "You could see it now, if you were in the right place..." "Ouch, I'm missing it!!! Wait, keep it, I'm coming right now!!", he joked, with an evil smile on his lips. He heard her laugh and smiled too, again, this time from pure happiness. It was always the same. Whenever he was aware that he was making her happy, he felt dumbly happy and couldn't help to express it. Pan should be tired of his stupid grin... "Come on, little Panny... You must go now..." She sighed on the phone, making Trunks wonder what her mother would like that was important enough to disturb his beloved one. Knowing that she was already late, he decided to end the conversation right there. "Well, Panny... See you later, ok?" he asked, not being able to hide his disappointment. "Yep... See you..." "Are you sure that you don't want me to bring anything...?" "Yes, don't worry! We have everything under control...!" He chuckled a little and whispered one last goodbye that she answered in a sigh. "Toran...?", she said, after a pause, when he was about to hang. "Yes?", he asked too quickly, delighted when he had almost convinced himself that the chat was over. "That... that...", she started, and he felt that she was a bit unsure of what to say next. "That... I'll miss you..." He couldn't help but smile. Oh, he loved that girl!! "I'll miss you too, darling... See you, uh?" "Yep. See you... Bye..." He answered with a murmur and looked nowhere, waiting, just waiting, until he heard her hang. Feeling suddenly the lack that he was already getting experienced to feel, he looked briefly at the phone before putting it down. Missed. Loved. She had said so... Shaking his head, he rested down and sighed. Their friendship was endangered... And, between a light fear, he felt a naughty completeness. |
