Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and after reading this fic you'll be thankful I don't.

Summary: It wasn't until they saw the flames of the burning building that Aang and Zuko realized that alcohol and bending don't mix.

Warning: Rated for underage drinking, swearing, and utter chaos.

Drinking Game

- - - - -

Zuko had never really liked the taste of alcohol. His life had been ruled by discipline for so long he never allowed himself to seek pleasure in some of the more questionable comforts of life. He had often seen his uncle and crew partaking in a night of singing and drinking and needless to say it wasn't always a pretty sight. Zuko never understood why intelligent men would make such complete asses of themselves and call it "fun." But then again, there were a lot of things Zuko didn't understand these days.

He stared at the sake cup in his hand for a while before taking a slow, testing sip. It burned as it traveled down his throat, but strangely it didn't bother him quite as much as it should have. The tavern was dark and relatively empty, perfect for a fugitive. He sat in the shadowed corner as far away from the candlelight as possible. Not long ago he had walked proudly in broad daylight in the capital of the Fire Nation as its future Fire Lord, respected by all. Now look at him, hiding in the darkness like a common criminal. He was nothing more than a fugitive. No home, no allies, nothing. Not even Iroh.

He took another drink at this depressing thought. He had no one to blame for the separation but himself. It was what he wanted. It was what needed to be done. He couldn't rely on Iroh forever.

"Excuse me, sir. Would you like some more sake?" The serving girl gestured to his empty cup. Zuko nodded his agreement and the girl poured him some more of the hot liquid. He allowed his eyes to scan her features. She was slim, but not overly so and her long dark hair spilled over her curves like silk. Her large doe-like eyes completed in giving her an overall pleasant appearance. Zuko briefly wondered what a pretty girl like her was doing serving spirits to seedy customers, but after he finished off his second cup he didn't give it too much thought. How he was going to pay for his drinks was a more important question.

- - - - -

The monsoon season was upon this area of the Earth Kingdom, lashing out with wind and rain that never seemed to stop. The sun rarely shone through the dense clouds, the sky remaining a miserable dull gray.

That was fine with Aang. In fact, it perfectly mirrored how he felt. Depressed.

Damn those prisoners and their love advice. Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel, they said. What a load of crap.

He thought she would understand. He thought she would return his feelings, but to his utter disappointment and shame Katara hadn't done either. You're like a little brother to me. Little. That was the way she would always think of him as. The little guy. Never strong or mature or handsome, just little. Family and nothing more.

He walked aimlessly through the streets of the small village. He had lost track of how long he had been walking, but found that he didn't care. Aang wasn't ready to face Katara again. He just wanted to forget everything, if only there was a way to wipe the memory from his mind.

Aang turned the corner and saw the entrance to a tavern. That was the idea came to him in all its reckless, hideous, alcoholic glory.

- - - - -

"I'm telling you Aiko, one of these days I'm going to get out of this hell hole and make something of myself." In the kitchen of the tavern Wei gave her friend a look of utter determination.

"I know Wei," Aiko soothed. "It's the battle cry of the overworked and underpaid." The young woman poked the grilling fish in front of her, more out of boredom than concern for her cooking.

"Ha! You mean overworked and not paid at all!"

Aiko immediately realized she should have chosen her words more carefully. When Wei started on one of her rants the spirits themselves couldn't shut her up.

"If my father hadn't drunk himself into debt I wouldn't be working here. Now I'm paying off a debt I don't even owe! I swear if that man wasn't already dead I'd kick his ass myself!" She flicked a strand of her long, dark hair out of her face as though showing her friend the threat was serious.

Aiko tried to stifle a laugh because really, Wei's plight wasn't funny at all. But the mental image of her younger friend digging up her father's grave just to beat the hell out of his dead corpse would not leave her head. And Wei was the kind of woman who would do it.

The sound of a customer entering the tavern stole the serving girls' attention. The next thing they heard was a startled cry and something that sounded like, "What are you doing here!" Both girls quickly stepped out from the kitchen.

The first thing that came to their minds was too young. The customer that just entered couldn't be older than fourteen. His strange red and yellow clothing, along with the hand-woven bamboo hat, gave the impression of a foreign traveler. Although what a boy would be doing traveling alone, much less visiting taverns, was beyond them.

The customer that had been sitting in the corner drinking alone was now on his feet, pointing at the boy. Both seemed equally dumbfounded.

"May I help you?" Wei asked in as pleasant a voice she could muster. Someone had to break the tension.

They continued to stare each other down and the girls wondered whether a fight would break out. With the constant flow of alcohol, inebriated fights weren't uncommon, but that didn't make them any less annoying. Or any less of a mess to clean up after. Blood was a very hard stain to remove.

It was such an irony, thought Zuko. All those times he had went in search of the Avatar and the one time he just walks up to him is the time when catching him would be meaningless. There was no point anymore. But old habits died hard.

- - - - -

"What's it called again?" Aang tentatively sniffed the cup in his hand.

Zuko resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "It is sake, you idiot."

Aang gave him a hard stare. How was he supposed to know? He was only twelve. The Avatar slowly lifted the cup to his lips and --- sweet merciful spirits!

His face contorted into a look of disgust as he coughed and gagged.

Zuko simply smirked. "It's an acquired taste. I knew you couldn't handle it."

Aang couldn't help but notice the insult. "Oh yeah, well I don't know why anyone would want to get used to drinking this stuff! It's awful!"

"Which only proves just how much of child you are."

The Avatar shot him a look of daggers. Child. He hated being called that. Little boy. Well not anymore. He wasn't a child and he would prove it, dammit! He lifted the cup again and to Zuko's amazement he swallowed the rest of the sake in one gulp. Aang slammed the cup back down on the table and continued his hard stare at his companion. Zuko gaped as the boy's face turned pink, then red, then purple. The gape transformed into a smirk.

Aang felt like he had swallowed liquid fire. Not a pleasant feeling.

"Amateur," Zuko took a sip of his own sake. "If one cup is your limit you really are pathetic." All those times Aang had escaped his grasp would not go without retribution. His prey was taking his bait. Revenge would be sweet.

"I'm not pathetic!" He shouted back with a little more vehemence than Zuko expected. "I bet I can drink more than you!"

Hook, line, and sinker.

"Really? Then why don't you prove it with a little drinking game?"

"Fine! Just name the challenge and I'll take you on!" If Zuko thought he was going to back down he was wrong. Aang never lost when it came to games.

Zuko's gave a smirk that could only be described as sinfully wicked. "Do you know how to play Pai Sho?"

- - - - -

Aiko would never understand men. Never. As long as she lived she would never understand why they continually needed to prove themselves by drinking. But hey, as long as it made her money she didn't worry too much about it.

"I got them the Pai Sho game," Wei joined her friend back in the kitchen. "I still have mixed feelings about letting the kid drink sake. I mean, we can't just do that, right?"

"Does he have money?"

"Yeah."

"Then we can do it."

Truly, Aiko's logic never ceased to amaze her. "Fine, well if we get in trouble for this I'm pointing the finger at you."

Aiko muttered under her breath about certain fingers she'd like to point at Wei. Luckily, her friend was too busy peeping through the doorway at the two customers to notice. "They look familiar somehow…" she mumbled.

"They're both pretty strange looking. One with a scar and one dressed like a monk. They make an odd pair."

"In fact, I know I've seen them before," Wei continued on as if she wasn't listening.

Aiko joined her peeping friend. "You know now that I think about it, the one with the scar isn't that bad looking. Those amber eyes are so predatory, he just oozes danger. Huzzah!"

Aiko's taste in men may have been questionable, but her comment sparked Wei's memory. That was when the idea came to her in all its sly, risky, money-making glory.

- - - - -

"Here are the rules," A Pai Sho board set between Zuko and Aang with many, many bottles of sake around them. The ex-prince was explaining the game. "If you lose any of the lower tiles, like the lotus or ox tiles, you take one shot. If you lose any of the higher tiles, like the tiger or dragon tiles, you take three shots. Got it?"

Aang nodded. He had played Pai Sho dozens of times with Gyatso and he had always been a pretty good player. He would beat Zuko, no problem.

Zuko was looking quite satisfied with himself. This was going to be easy. The boy had no tolerance for alcohol and all those years of playing the game with Iroh had taught him well. Pai Sho was a game of strategy. It took thought and patience. And he had all the time in the world now.

The game started out civilly enough. Aang had taken the lead early on, but Zuko was biding his time. The ex-prince had taken a few shots and his face was beginning to turn pink, but otherwise he felt fine. Noooo problem.

He studied the game board for quite some time, trying to decide what move to make.

"Hurry it up already!" Aang shouted a little louder than was necessary.

"I'm thinking! Shut your mouth!" Damn, that boy was a mean drunk. Zuko grinned as he made his move and eliminated one of Aang's tiger tiles. "Woot! That's three drinks!"

Aang grumbled as he poured himself the first cup.

One.

Hic! What the hell? When had he gotten the hiccups?

Two.

You know, this stuff wasn't so bad after you got used to it.

Three.

Damn, why are the walls moving? Walls aren't supposed to move, right?

"S'alright," Aang put the cup down. "Easy peesy." He may have been tipsy, but it wasn't enough to keep him from playing.

The game went on, each player taking shots as tiles were lost.

- - - - -

"Where the hell is my staff?"

"You're holding it dumbass!"

Aang pointed the "lost" staff at Zuko. "Don't gimme that shit! You're hiding it from me! Don't cha know who I am! I'm the Avatar, dammit! I wore a dress in a past life! I'm mature!"

This was about the time when the other customers quickly and quietly made their exit.

Zuko chuckled. "Damn, you are sooooo shit-faced." He knocked the staff away and was about to take another drink when he noticed a lotus tile floating in the sake. "What the hell is this doing in my cup?"

"Ha!" Aang laughed. "I did it. And you wanna know why I did it? I…" He trailed off as he hiccupped. "Cause I thought it'd make it taste better or something…"

Zuko took the tile from his drink and threw it at the airbender, hitting him in the side of the head. "Hey! This is my tile! You've been cheatin'!"

"What? Nuh-uh." Zuko took another drink, the game being long abandoned.

Aang pointed an accusing finger. "You're a lyiiin', cheatiiiiin', scar-faced, fiiire-flingin'…"

"I wanna be a ninja," Zuko confessed mournfully. "If I can't be a prince then I could at least be a ninja."

"Ninja-lovin'…"

"I'm not a bad person, really." Zuko continued on. "But shit just keeps happening to me. It's like I'm the universe's bitch."

"Bad bitch…shit…"

"I've allllways had to fight. Everything's a damn struggle, a dance of death. Can Zuko ever catch a break? Noooooo."

"Break dancin'…"

"All I ever wanted was for him to say, 'I'm proud of you son.' Just once. But it was always Azuuula this and Azuuula that." When saying his sister's name his voice got high and squeaky. "What the hell is so great about her anyway? She clips her damn toenails with her teeth. Her teeth."

"Teeth…son…ass!" Aang jumped on the table, knocking some of the sake over. "I could whoop your ass any day of the week." The Avatar turned and stuck his butt in the air to taunt him. "Look at me! I'm Zuuuuko! Nobody loooves me!"

"Shut the hell up!" The ex-prince got unsteadily to his feet. "You need a beat down, bitch!"

Aiko and Wei looked on in horror. "Sweet merciful spirits," Aiko muttered. "I really hope they don't do too much damage. I don't feel like doing any overtime tonight."

"This is perfect!"

The older girl raised a brow at Wei. "Perfect?"

"I have a plan. We'll be free from this place yet!"

Now Aiko was very worried. Her friend's plans usually involved someone getting hurt. Or destruction. Mass destruction.

The girls were lucky though, inebriated though they were, they did have enough sense to take the fight outside. A small crowd had gathered around the scene, Wei and Aiko left to join them.

Aiko nudged the younger girl, "Hey, want to make a bet?"

She grinned, "Sure. I bet my next paycheck the boy wins."

"You jackass! You don't get paid!"

"Alright, alright." Wei waved a hand dismissively. "My next meal then."

"I cook your damn meals, too!"

Aang swung his staff in an arc, sending a strong gale forward. Unfortunately, the sake had affected his aim and his attack ended up blowing some of the crowd off its feet.

"Hey! Watch where you're aiming!"

"Dammit Zuko!" The Avatar yelled loudly. "Why are there so many of you!"

Zuko took an unsure step forward and unleashed a jet of fire. Aang managed to deflect the blast, once again, into the crowd.

"They're crazy!"

"Let's get the hell out of here!"

Aang glared at his opponent. "Stay still, all of you!" He attacked with another gale, this time it hit its mark and sent Zuko flying. He landed on his back; the world was spinning around him. It took a great deal of effort to get back on his feet.

"I'll kick your ass!" Zuko declared even as he almost lost his balance. He wasn't going to let the opportunity slide. He was going to make the Avatar pay for all the suffering he had caused him.

The prince-turned-fugitive let out a drunken roar and charged. He threw a fiery punch at the boy's head, which Aang was barely able to evade. The fight quickly turned into a childish brawl. They rolled on the ground, punching, kicking, biting, swearing, and making what was left of the crowd sigh in boredom.

"This is so disappointing," Aiko confessed. "By the way, what was it that made you want to bet on the kid and not the one with the scar?"

Wei gave a sheepish grin, "Just a hunch."

"Oh no. Come on, tell me."

But the girl remained silent. Aiko raised a brow as Wei made her way back inside the tavern.

Zuko landed a punch on the side of Aang's face. "Take that you scrawny-assed little pansy!"

Aang whipped out his knee and nailed Zuko in the stomach, then managed to turn the tables by ending up on top of the older boy. He unleashed several punches, but with this small body weight they didn't do much damage. "Oh yeah? Well who'd want your ugly scar-faced pyro ass?"

"Your momma never said no." Zuko retorted, throwing the boy off of him.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself cause my momma's been dead for over a hundred years you necrophiliac!" Aang prepared to launch himself at Zuko again, but in his alcohol induced haze he couldn't quite decide which image of his opponent he was seeing was the real Zuko.

Before the Avatar could attack, Zuko was back on his feet and aiming a fireball at the younger boy. It flew by Aang's head and landed on a cabbage cart on the other side of the street.

"My cabbages!" The vendor squealed in misery.

With Zuko's attention momentarily focused on the cabbage man's plight Aang tackled him to the ground. He grabbed the back of the ex-prince's head and slammed it as hard as he could in the dirt. Zuko's arms reached back for his opponent, trying to grope for a better position. "Get off me! Let go now you bald son of bitch and I won't kill you too quickly."

He finally managed to twist around and grab the Avatar by the throat. Aang clawed at Zuko's arms, drawing blood, but couldn't escape his grasp until his foot connected with his opponent's gut. Zuko loosened his hold just enough for Aang to breath again. He used this opportunity to sink his teeth into Zuko's hand.

"Ouch! Damn you, bastard!" The ex-prince used his uninjured hand to pin Aang down, then whaled on his head.

A sharp blast of wind sent Zuko flying off the boy. Both stumbled back to their feet.

"This is it!" Zuko declared. "Your ass is mine!"

"Are you gonna fight or try to pick me up?"

In a fit of drunken rage, Zuko sent a wild shot straight for the Avatar. Aang shielded himself from the attack, but in doing so he sent the stream of fire bouncing back…toward the tavern.

Both boys stared in horror at the building. They were both sober enough to remember that alcohol and fire don't mix well. At first, it seemed like they were safe. Then smoke began to poor from the tavern, flames could be seen through the windows.

"Daammmmnn," Aang muttered. "You are so screwed," he pointed at Zuko.

"Me? You're the asshole who knocked my attack away!"

The crowd was beginning to resurface and point accusing fingers at the two inebriated, bruised, and bloody fighters. The sound of "wheel of punishment" was enough to make them realize they better get the hell out of here.

Without uttering another word, Aang and Zuko took off down the street, angry villagers at their heels.

- - - - -

"Wei! Wei!" Aiko called from just outside the burning tavern. "Where are you?" Just as she was about to panic, the serving girl saw her friend emerge from the back entrance.

"Thank the spirits you're safe." Aiko grabbed her friend by the shoulders and pulled her in for a relieved hug. "I was worried there for a minute."

"Everything's going to be fine now!" Wei stated enthusiastically. "No tavern, no debt, no work!"

Aiko gave the younger girl a skeptical look. "Wei, you didn't…I mean, you couldn't…you wouldn't have…"

She brought out the matches triumphantly. "I recognized them from the wanted posters. All we had to do was wait until they started to fight and bingo! The firebender would catch the tavern on fire. Or at least that is what everyone will think. Now we're free!"

Aiko's eyes widened in realization, then narrowed in annoyance. "The wanted posters? You idiot! You realize we could have slipped something into their drinks to knock them out then collect the reward? We could have paid off your debt and still be set for life!"

The younger girl blanched.

"Wei? Wei are you okay?"

"…oh shit!"

Aiko shook her head. Next time, she would come up with the plan.

- - - - -

Author's Notes: This is in response to me-obviously's writing challenge, which I so bravely (or stupidly) accepted. I hope it met all the criteria. Now it's your turn.

Writing challenge for me-obviously: You are to write a story about Ozai's Angels, and because you practically begged for it, it must include Azulaang. It must also contain these three phrases.

"What's with the screaming?"

"I think that falls under the 'stupid question' category."

"What is that doing up your sleeve?" (In reference to Mai)

Have fun and good luck my friend.

Why do I get the feeling that we've started a snowball that's going downhill and will only get bigger and stronger until it destroys a small town? Oh well. It's too late now.