A/N: All right, everyone, I'm back! Yay! I haven't written in a while (I'm sorry, really I am!) and it feels good to be 'fanfic-ing' again. I have at least been planning, so if I'm lucky, chapter...what is it? Four? Well, the next chapter of Now or Never should be up soon...anywho…yup.
Okay, this fic is called "Memories" (Readers: No, really?) but for those of you who know about the musical thing (If you don't know, don't ask…), it's nothing to do with the song. Anyway…
Disclaimer: Sadly, Eoin Colfer owns all AF characters. What do I own? Welllll…um…I own the camera! No, wait, Foaly owns the camera. I own…erm…oh! I own the beeping codes for Foaly's screen! Yay! I'm not broke yet! (Does Can-can)
Everyone else: (stares)
Root: What—
Me: Don't ask.
(That little joke was brought to you by the Opal Deception. If you haven't read it, go read it now!)
Anywho, on to the fic! BANZAI!
Foaly was bored. Completely and utterly bored. He was so bored, in fact, that he was seriously considering killing his computers for not automatically providing him with something to do. A very unusual thought for Foaly (well, not to mention how under earth a computer could be killed—but that was, to the centaur's way of thinking, another matter).
I am SO bored, he thought. B-O-A—I mean, B-O-R-E-D. BORED. I'm so bored I can't even spell 'bored' anymore. I am going to die of boredom. What an untimely end for a genius.
He sighed and rummaged around in his drawers for the gajillionth time. He knew it was useless, knew there was nothing in there for him to do, but it couldn't hurt to look.
"Ouch!"
He'd hit his hand on some sort of loose panel in the drawer. Maybe he could fix the panel so he wouldn't be so bored. Foaly shook his head at himself. He was actually considering physical work out of boredom. What kind of genius was he, anyway? Then he sighed and pulled out a hammer.
Now, how do you work this thing again? he wondered, staring down at it hopelessly. He pulled open the drawer—and dropped the hammer in surprise, narrowly missing his hoof. He didn't even notice.
The secret panel! Of course! Why didn't I think about that earlier?
Because he had forgotten about it, that was why. He stuck his hand into the space, desperately hoping to find something in there. It was his last hope for sanity. He couldn't remember how to do the physical work, so if there was nothing, he was doomed to die of boredom in a padded cell. Not a good way to die, he thought grimly, moving his hand around some more.
Nothing.
He groaned and scrabbled once more. If he didn't find something now—just then, his fingers touched something. Relieved, he grasped it and pulled it out.
It was a small disk in a plastic case, nothing more. Probably just some old report. He was about to chuck it across the room in disgust when he noticed the label.
Memories.
Just one word. Memories. Normally Foaly wouldn't have had the faintest idea what that meant. But now, he found himself recalling something…
Holly placed the mask over Artemis's eyes and pushed the button. Seconds later the teenager slumped in his chair. Immediately, lines of Gnommish text began to flash across the screen behind him. In the days of Frond, Gnommish had been written in spirals. But reading in spirals gave most fairies headaches.
"Commence deleting," ordered Foaly. "But keep a copy. Sometime when I have a few weeks off I'm going to find out what makes this guy tick."
Foaly grinned. He loaded the disk onto the computer and clicked on the file marked, "Artemis." Then he settled back to read.
Some time later, Foaly was still reading. He hadn't stopped for quite a long time, and he wasn't about to stop now. This was interesting. It wasn't like a normal human's memories might be. Artemis was, after all, a genius, and saw things in an entirely different way. But—
Foaly suddenly stopped short and stared at the screen, unbelieving. Had he really read what he thought he'd read just then? He read the passage again. Yes, it was the same thing. Suddenly he burst out laughing. Tears of mirth ran down his cheeks, and he rocked back and forth in his specially modified swivel chair.
He finally gained control, and sat up, ribs aching, to read the rest of the memories. This he did, stopping every now and then to laugh.
When he was finally finished, he closed the document, stood up, stretched. Then he clip-clopped over to the door. He definitely wasn't bored anymore. Now, he knew exactly what he was going to do.
Grinning, he opened the door and went out. Dear Frond, this is going to be fun, he thought, and closed the door and trotted down the hall, leaving the empty and currently boring Ops Booth behind.
When he got to Holly's office, she was at the desk, typing away on her computer. She looked up expectantly as he came in.
He spared a moment to panic because he hadn't thought what to say, then inwardly sighed with relief as she took the lead.
"Hey, Foaly."
"Hi," he said, and fell silent again, still not sure how to ask. Holly waited, and the quiet stretched.
Finally Foaly sat down. "Um…I was wondering…" he said, attempting to force the words out and not managing. "Uh…"
"Well, spit it out already!" she said good-naturedly.
Foaly made a face—she sounded too much like Root for comfort, even if her face wasn't red—and spit it out. "I, uh, wanted to know if…if you've ever been in love." There. He'd said it. Now she would either be confused or hurt him. Hopefully the former, as he didn't like to think about what the latter could involve. A Neutrino at the very least.
He got lucky. Her face had an expression of complete bewilderment on it. "Why do you want to know?" Then she suddenly grinned. "Oh, I get it. So, who's the lucky lady?"
Foaly was baffled for a second, then he groaned. He should have known she would take it like that. "Nonononono. That's not what I meant at all," he said hurriedly. "I just…um…I just wanted to know how it felt, is all."
"Okay," she said, looking confused again. "Well…I think I can tell you…I'm pretty sure I've got some of the symptoms now," she added, blushing.
"Oh, really? Who…"
She cut him off. "Don't even think about asking that question. Not telling."
"Oh, come on."
"Nope." She folded her arms and looked away.
"Trouble?" he guessed experimentally.
She shuddered. "Eww, no."
"Chix?"
She made a gagging sound.
"Julius?"
She looked at him, her eyes widening in shock. She mouthed wordlessly for a few seconds, then began to sputter. "Commander…me…Vinyaya…Are you INSANE?" she demanded finally.
He chucked. "Relax, I was just kidding."
She rolled her eyes. "Could have fooled me."
Foaly grinned. "So who is it then?"
"Still not telling," she said, and sighed.
He moaned, then said in mock hurt, "What, don't you trust me to keep your secret?"
"Maybe. But I definitely don't trust you not to laugh at me."
"Fine. Maybe I'll just go read your diary and find out myself," he said, getting up and starting to leave. Halfway down the corridor, he heard her answer come back to him.
"You do that."
He grinned. They both knew that he'd never be able to find it, since it wasn't on a computer. It was, in fact, hidden in her house somewhere, as he knew from the time he'd tried to find it. He winced suddenly. That time had been painful. To his dignity, anyway. Which was why now even the mention of eggbeaters and meringue made him glance anxiously at his mane, just in case.
He made a face and headed back to his office.
When he got back, he had a surprise waiting for him. His screen was beeping.
This was not unusual in itself. But Foaly had the beeps coded. And the beep pattern the screen was currently making was the code for, "Mindwipe victim has remembered."
As far as Foaly knew, the only mindwipe victim currently being tracked by the program was…well, who else? Artemis Fowl.
Normally the centaur would have been…frustrated, to say the least. But now he laughed. He then sat down in his swivel chair and ran a check to make sure it was actually the Mud Boy who had regained his memories, and not some Mud Man from centuries ago who hadn't been taken off the alert list. When the world map appeared on his screen with a pulsing red dot over Fowl Manor, Foaly almost cheered, then stopped himself for fear the commander would hear him and come to investigate. Instead, he punched his fist into the air silently. Then he got up and tiptoed out of the room.
Foaly pushed open the door of Holly's office. She looked up. "Foaly? Weren't you just here a few minutes ago?"
"Yes, but when I got back to my office…" Here he hesitated. How exactly to break the news? "My computer was beeping."
"What code?" she asked immediately.
"Mindwipe victim has remembered."
There was a long silence. Then Holly said slowly, "And…which mindwipe victim, Foaly? No, let me guess. Artemis."
Foaly nodded. Then, to distract her, he said, "Come on. We're going to the surface."
"We?"
"Yes. For some odd reason, Julius said that I should come too. Don't ask me why."
"I'll ask him then."
"Unless you want your head blown off, I wouldn't suggest it."
"Oh, one of those days, huh?" she said, sighing. "Okay. Let's go, then."
They got to the door of Fowl Manor (with some difficulty, as Foaly couldn't use wings) and hesitated, standing on the doorstep. Then Foaly sighed and pushed the doorbell. They could hear its echo through the house. Then a distant voice issued from inside.
"I'll get it, Butler!" It paused a moment, then went on. "No, Butler. I'm perfectly capable of…" The person was interrupted, then continued, sounding dry, "No, Butler. Answering the door one time won't kill me. Unless of course there is a trained gunman waiting to shoot the first person he sees, but you'll forgive me if I consider that unlikely."
Foaly grinned and looked at Holly. She was a little pale. As he heard the door being unlocked, the centaur quickly straightened his features. If he messed up at this stage of things…
The door swung open, and Artemis peered down at them. "Good evening, may I help y…" He stopped. There was silence for a moment, then he said, keeping his face emotionless, "Foaly. Hol—Captain." He nodded to each, then said, "Well, come into our humble abode." Holding the door open, he gestured for them to come inside, then led the way to the living room.
As they walked, he said, "I would assume you've come about the mindwipe."
"Good, Mud Boy," said Foaly
They entered the living room. "Sit down," said Artemis, and sat himself. They followed his lead.
"So," said Foaly, "you've regained your memories."
"Obviously."
"Would you like to tell us how?" asked the centaur.
"Not particularly."
"Well…anyway…" Foaly said, a little thrown off balance. He stopped, then said, "You know, normally I'd complain about this, but this time I'd say it's a good thing."
"What do you mean?" asked Artemis, looking ever so slightly confused.
This was it. Foaly held back a smirk, and turned to Holly. "Hey, Holly, do you remember when I took a copy of Mud Boy's memories after we wiped him?"
She nodded uncertainly, and the centaur continued, now fighting the urge to start laughing. "Well…allow me to read a passage from them." He pulled some crumpled paper from his pocket, smoothed it out, and began to read in a somewhat mocking voice:
"Ever since we got back from Russia, I can't stop thinking about Holly. I don't know why, and it has been bothering me. I shall have to figure it out.
She comes up to me now and puts her hand lightly on my shoulder to get my attention. I think I'm going to faint. I am not usually this weak, and again I find myself wondering what is going on.
'Artemis,' she says, 'I have the research you wanted. In the computer lab.' She leads me there.
As we walk, she chatters. Soon I lose track of what she's actually saying and instead find myself listening to the music of her voice. A beautiful voice for a beautiful fairy. Wait. What am I thinking? And why is this so difficult to figure out?
I will just have to try harder."
Struggling to control his mirth, Foaly stole a glance at Artemis. The Mud Boy was, for once in his life, looking completely shocked, and his face was crimson with embarrassment. That was it. Now choking with laughter, Foaly said, "Well, then, I'll leave you two alone to…er…catch up." Before either could move, he ran out of the room and locked the door, then fell against it, laughing hysterically.
Inside, Artemis groaned and put his head in his hands. Holly watched him silently for a few moments, looking as surprised as he was, if not more.
Suddenly she glared ferociously at the door. Then she leaped up and began banging on it. "Foaly!" she shouted angrily. "Foaly, you liar! Let us out! I don't want to hear those lies! If you don't admit that you wrote that you don't know what I'm going to do to you when I get out of here! You…"
She was interrupted by a quiet voice from the couch behind her. "Don't hurt him. He's not lying."
Astounded, she looked over at Artemis. He still hadn't taken his head out of his hands. "He's not lying," he repeated quietly.
Holly stared. Then, tentatively, she came over and sat down beside him. "So…if I do this…?" Slowly she put her hand on his shoulder. He shivered.
They sat in silence. At last, Artemis said, "Holly?"
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I…truly didn't mean to…I tried not to…I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"Well…it's probably going to cause you a lot of trouble, isn't it?"
"What kind of trouble?" she asked, frowning.
"Foaly obviously doesn't like it," he said, with just a hint of bitterness in his voice.
She looked at him for a moment, seeming confused. Then suddenly she laughed. "Oh, no. You've got Foaly wrong. He does like it. That's why he read that thing. He wanted me to know so that I could do something about it if I wanted to."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Then why did he have to be so…frivolous about it?"
"Oh, that's just the way Foaly is," she explained. "I wonder if he could have done it any other way."
"Oh."
They were quiet for another few minutes. Then Foaly said, "Have you kissed yet?" They could hear the laughter in his voice, even through the door.
Holly grinned at Artemis. "No," she called. "We were just about to!" Then, ignoring the boy's widening eyes, she pulled him close and pressed her lips to his. After a moment, she let go.
Artemis stared at her. "But…what…I…you…I thought…"
"What, did you think I didn't return the affection?" she asked, looking amused. "And you call yourself a genius." She stood, grabbed his hand, and pulled him towards the door. "Come on." Then she hammered on the wood with the flat of her hand. "Foaly! You can let us out now!"
"Prove it," came the centaur's voice. They heard the click of the lock, and Foaly stuck his head in, then quickly came the rest of the way in so neither Artemis nor Holly could get out.
"How? How do we prove it?" asked Holly.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something," said Foaly, trying not to laugh.
Holly sighed, looked at Artemis for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed him again.
"There, are you happy?" she asked Foaly after she pulled away.
The centaur grinned. "Yes." He held the door open for them, and Holly dragged Artemis out. He seemed to be in shock still.
As Foaly closed the door behind them, he heard Holly ask the Mud Boy quietly, "So…are you doing anything on Saturday?"
Holly came into the commander's office, practically skipping. This was unusual enough in itself, but what was even more unusual was what she was wearing. She had on a short-sleeved blouse and—Root had to rub his eyes to make sure what he was seeing was real—a green skirt. Confused as he was, the commander decided to do what he always did when he was confused—take the offensive.
"Captain!" he roared, face turning an interesting shade of puce. "Where have you been?"
"At the movie theater," she replied cheerfully. Root stared. Holly? Cheerful? The words Holly and cheerful really didn't belong in the same sentence.
"The movie theater?"
"Yes," she said. "On a date."
The commander was now completely confounded. He sputtered. Finally he managed to say, "You? On a—a date?"
"Yep."
"With who?"
Foaly stepped out of the shadows and started to say something. Holly yelled and covered his mouth.
"Don't say it!" she shrieked.
He wrenched her hand away. "I wasn't going to," he said calmly.
She looked sheepish. "Oh. Go ahead, then. I'll just…leave…" She went out of the office.
Foaly cleared his throat and, grinning, began to read the passage from Artemis's memories that he had read earlier. Just as he got to the last part, Holly came back. Hearing the words, she froze for a moment, then dashed inside just as Root asked, "Donkey, what was that?"
Holly threw her hand out to cover the centaur's mouth again, but was too late.
"Mud Boy's memories," said Foaly. Holly moaned.
Root opened and closed his mouth several times. Finally he said, "Do I like the sound of this or not?"
"I don't know," said Foaly. "Now, let me show you a little video…" He picked up a camera he'd put down when he first entered the office.
Holly stared. "You didn't," she whispered.
Foaly smirked. "Oh, but I did."
The captain shrieked again, grabbed the camera, and bashed it against the desk. Bits of broken plastic and camera parts flew everywhere.
Instead of yelping, as Root had expected, Foaly just grinned. "It's a good thing I have that on disk," he said, producing a disk from the same spot as the camera.
Holly gasped, snatched the disk and snapped it. Foaly grinned again and sauntered over to a closet in the corner. Holly followed, darted in front, and yanked the closet open. There was a large crashing sound, and suddenly she was buried under a gigantic pile of disks.
"Leave me under here," they heard her say faintly. "Please."
Foaly smirked again and picked up one of the disks. "I was going to give one of these to each LEP officer for Christmas, but…" He put the disk into the computer and let the commander watch the video. As soon as Foaly heard his own voice say, "Prove it," he dissolved into helpless laughter. When the video was over, he still wasn't capable of speech.
"All right, donkey," said Root. "Stop laughing and clean up those disks. And the camera parts. I don't want them cluttering up my office floor."
At that, Foaly did stop laughing, and gaped indignantly. "But…but I wasn't the one who broke the camera, or spilled the disks!"
"Yes, but it was your fault," the commander said. "Now, get to work."
Grumbling, Foaly got a broom and dustpan and began to sweep up the smashed camera.
"You know," said Holly, sticking her head out, "it's really kind of comfortable in there."
"Captain," Root said.
"What?" she asked, looking wary.
"About dating the Mud Boy…"
"Yes?" A little fear was creeping into her tone now.
"Go to it. You have my blessing."
Her mouth dropped open. "But…" Then suddenly she grinned. "First of all, who says I need a blessing? And second of all, thank you!" She threw her arms around him, pecked him on the cheek, and rushed out of the office.
Root stared after her, one hand to his cheek. "I'd…better go wash my face now," he said after a moment, and left, looking confused.
Foaly smirked and picked up the last of the disks. Then he switched off the lights and went out the door.
"Now to go read Butler's memories…"
A/N: I may continue. If I get reviews. So review please! And if you do you will get a virtual treat! Some of my faithful readers are collecting quite a number of treats! Thanks to:
Annie-morphs
1st female LEPrecon
refloc
By Grace Alone
Valta
Holly's Home Girl
Zandreda DragonLove
Born of Flame
Anywho…review please! BANZAI!