Epilogue

Allucia opened her eyes. She recognized Sickbay's ceiling. Letting out a strangled gasp, she bolted upright. Ryoga— She turned to the biobeds to her side. They were unoccupied. Her view shifted to the surgical bed. Also empty. Maybe they're in hospitals in Nerima—

The Doc noticed Allucia sit up, and watching her look around the room in a panic, left his office. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the ensign.

"Where's Ryoga?! You beamed him up too, didn't you? Didn't you?! Or is he still down on Yamato?! You gotta let me—" Tears began to stream down her face as realization slowly began to dawn on her. She put a hand to her head. "I—all of them—but maybe... oh God..." She sent a pleading look to the hologram. "Doctor..."

The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment. "Ens—Allucia... I'm very sorry... but we only had time to beam you out... no sooner had we done so, we registered a large explosion on the surface. Then we left the system. I'm very sorry."

Allucia began shaking her head. "No-no-no-no-no... we hafta go back... and get Ryoga-kun... turn around!" She lifted her other hand to her face; and noticed something clenched in her hand.

A yellow piece of fabric, with a black geometric design... Allucia stared at the bandanna, and grew silent. "You should have left me down there... I was supposed to die with him..."

The Doctor took the moment to tap his combadge. "Commander Chakotay, please report to Sickbay immediately."

Not a minute later, Chakotay rushed into Sickbay. Sobbing could be heard. The commander followed the sound to its source, carefully stepping around an up-ended cart that was dented in such a way it looked as though it were almost folded in half. Allucia was behind the intensive care bed on the floor. Several of the glass panels behind her had several spiderwebs of cracks in them; one had even shattered to the point where it had completely fallen from the walling, revealing the light source behind it. The holographic doctor was standing behind the console for the area; at least if he couldn't get close to Allucia he could still monitor her. He gave his commanding officer a despaired, worried look.

As Chakotay made his way around the bed and the ensign came into view, he could see her arms were wrapped around her legs, tightly pulled to her chest; she was rocking back and forth, shaking her head. The young woman was mumbling to herself; the commander couldn't make out what she was saying. He could see a strip of yellow patterned fabric in clenched in one hand; the knuckles around it probably would have been white if they weren't covered in blood.

His heart sank. She'd made so much progress in the last year and seemed so happy, it physically pained him to see her like this. Chakotay slowly walked up to Allucia and knelt on one knee next to the sobbing girl. He put a hand on her shoulder, but could not think of anything to say. She made no move to acknowledge him.

"Allucia," he began finally, "everything will be okay. Things will get better, and you'll move on. You'll see; you've done it before."

The ensign's head snapped up. She looked at Chakotay, becoming silent. Her eyes were red and puffy, her face marred by trails of tears and streaks of her own blood. She brought her hands to her face again.

The bandanna fell softly to the floor.

Some days later, Allucia sat curled up on one of the window seats in the mess hall. A melting, untouched bowl of Jimbalian fudge ice cream sat on a nearby table. It was dark in the room, being after-hours. The stars streaked by at warp speed. She stared out the window, unseeing. Ryoga... I'm sorry I left you there... Oh God, I miss you so much. A tear seeped out of the corner of her eye. The ensign abashedly wiped it away on the sleeve of her uniform. She fingered the end of her braid; she'd made a ribbon from some of the bandanna's material. She vowed not to cut her hair again, no matter what, in honor of him.

Neelix watched the raven-haired youth from his kitchen, just finishing his cleaning for the day. He glanced in worry at the untouched ice cream. She was never one to refuse food, especially anything containing chocolate. He felt so sorry for her; it was obvious that she had fallen for that nice boy from Yamato. And then she lost him... he knew how she must feel, remembering when Kes had departed.

The Talaxian left the kitchen, and walked over to the young pilot. She tore her trance-like gaze from the window as she heard the cook approach. "Hi Neelix," she said quietly, nearly in a whisper.

"Good evening, Lusha." Neelix said as he took a seat. "How are you?"

Allucia harrumphed. "That's a good question." She sighed, a frown crossing her face. "This has been happening to me all my life. Just as things begin to make a turn for the better, something happens, and it all comes crashing down on me." She sighed again. "Will it ever end?"

Neelix slowly nodded after a moment. "It does... Before I came to Voyager, I had to search for even water to drink, in an area fraught by warring factions. Not only that, but I made my living bartering trash and salvage." He paused for a moment, deciding to omit his sales in narcotics. "Don't worry. Eventually the good things will outnumber the bad."

Allucia shrugged, then picked up the buried in the bowl of ice cream, idly watching the melted blue goo ooze off the spoon.

"Would you like me to get you another ice cream?" Neelix asked.

Allucia shook her head and pushed the bowl away. "No thanks. I think I'll try and get some rest. 'Night, Neelix." She got up and left.

Neelix watched her go, and couldn't help thinking (like so many others) how much she had been through in such a short time, given her age.

Instead of going to her quarters, Allucia headed directly for the holodeck.

1999 Spaz Productions