The Rosary

Rating: T (For swearing)

Summary: My brother isn't a saint. He wasn't killed for some higher purpose. No matter how much I clean this thing, I will always see Jack's blood on it.

Disclaimer: Still own nothing. Same thing as before. The italic likes are from the movie.

"Jackie."

I lose all hope of winning this fight with Sweet standing between Ma and Jackie's graves. Green got buried today too. We just keep losing more and more people who were on our side.

My brothers and I make our way back home and I silently chastise myself. All the bullet holes. No matter how well we fix this place up when this shit is all over, I will always see them. Just like how I will always see Jackie's blood on his rosary.

I take a seat and tears fall down my face.

"Never should have came home. Never should have came."

I think about Jackie. I can't help it. My face wet with tears, but not for him. It's for me. I'm so fucken selfish I can't believe it. I cried when Ma died, but I can't even cry for the brother I just buried. I cry because I'm confused.

Damn. No matter how hard I try to stop it, I can't. But I can't let it all out. Not now. I can't let my emotions get the best of me. But I can't help but think about how it would be if I stayed where I was. Which was far away from Detroit.

At least Jack is close to Ma now. My mind goes back to the rosary I'm wearing. And I can't help but think about when Jackie was younger.

He always kept the rosary near him. I guess it made him feel like he was close to Ma when he went off somewhere playing a gig. Ma gave it to him. She showed Jackie how to pray it a few times, but I will never know if he ever prayed it without her.

I remember seeing Ma with her blue one in her hands, kneeling next to her bed when she felt one of us needed God's help. She prayed a lot when Jackie first came to us. I think that is why she gave it to him because she knew God would watch over him.

She would have given one to me, Jerry, and Angel, but I guess she knew that we, or at least I, didn't believe in that. And if we did, we wouldn't say. I don't know about Jerry and Angel, but I felt that God would never forgive me for all things I've done. Especially as of recently. I think Jackie is the only one God would have forgiven.

I mean, I said my prayers when I was told to, but it was mostly to make Ma happy. And it worked. The making Ma happy part.

When we were young, I was always the one trying to keep Jackie out of the action. Well, more like dangerous situations that I would get us in. I knew that coming back would put us all in yet another dangerous situation, and yet I tried to keep him away, while forcing him to come along.

Even when we were chasing the shooters that killed Ma, I had to watch over my little brothers. I tried to keep the car driving in a straight line while Angel shot at those bastards, and all that I could yell at Jackie was to put his seat belt on. I even made him stay back when we shot them. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. He wouldn't be able to shoot anyone. There was still a lot for me to teach him. He was too nice.

He even said that we should have let it go. He loved Ma just as much as we did. But I wanted revenge. And he wouldn't leave it alone. And in the end, I couldn't protect him. He was our voice of reason, and without him, I lost all reason.

Like I said, I didn't know about anything anymore. I lost Jackie.

I did. No one else.

God, I miss my brother.

Jerry comes up with a plan or at least something as close to a plan as it can get. I don't know if it will work. My heart isn't in it.

I still want revenge as much as Jerry and Angel for Ma and Jackie's deaths, but my heart wants it to wait a day or two. The funeral was a few hours ago. But like Angel used to say when we were hustling when we were young, "Revenge is a full-time job."

Jerry leaves to get everything for his plan in order. He comes back and for some reason, Sweet is going for it. All of Ma's money. Sweet is gonna take it from my brother, then kill him. I'm not gonna let that happen. I hear Fowler's name brought up and I want blood. But not just his.

So we have three hours.

I stand in Jerry's driveway and watch him kiss his family goodbye. I can't help but think that if I could ever have that. Or if Jackie could have had that. I'll never know about my second thought.

Camille tells me to watch over Jerry. Like she even had to tell me. Of course I'm not gonna lose any more of my family. Especially if I have any say or anything to do about it.

"Hey, I got him."

That call set everything off. So far, everything was going to plan. Fowler was out of the way. What I would have given to see the look on his face when Angel got to him. I just wanted one shot at him. He deserved it. But I have other things to deal with. Angel can take care of himself and Fowler.

I walk on the ice to where Jerry is supposed to be. To where Victor Sweet is going to die. I walk into the circle of people and silently thank God that Jerry is still alive.

I see Sweet and he is just as ready to throw down as I am. Actually, I think I am way more prepared for this than he is. One glimpse in his eyes and I saw a hint of fear, but it disappeared just as fast.

My hand goes to Jackie's rosary that is around my neck. I wear it to feel close to my lost brother, like he did with Ma. I kiss it and tuck it under my shirt. Maybe Ma and Jackie are looking after me right now. I'm not a religious person, but maybe I need someone to believe in right now while everything seems beyond my power.

The men throw Sweet into the water after I got my punches in and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. We're okay. At least, as okay as we can be. After we deal with the police, everything will be okay. Then I can finally cry a little more for the little brother I lost. I already cried for Ma, but I still need to cry for Jack.

I bring my hand to my chest and feel the cross and beads. I'm slowly starting to understand why people believe in God. I don't know if I do myself, but if there is a God, maybe this rosary can be a way I can talk to my mother and brother.

I look at my brother and listen to him worry about the whole situation with the cops.

"Cops love the Mercers, Jerry."

The End

Oh my goodness. I never thought that you guys would like this so much. Thanks a lot for the great reviews. Well, this is the first story that I've ever written in first person. Also, this is my first finished fanfiction. I hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment. Thanks for reading and please review. Lil-Rock