-1a/n: I posted this a while back on another site as part one of a two-parter. However, I was informed by a reliable source that this could do well as a stand-alone. So, I decided to share it with the rest of you. For those who have already read it on the other site, forgive me for the repetitiveness.

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How It Happened

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He could have called and checked on her, but he knew she would just tell him she was okay, and he knew she would be lying.

Part of him ached to go to her. To comfort her. And, the other part of him feared his heart wouldn't be able to handle it. The thought of seeing Pete there, comforting her, his things in her home, his ring on her finger. It was too much for his old heart. But, he would go to her, anyways. He had to.

He knew how great the chance of a repeat of awkwardness, like there was when she showed up at his house during his date with Kerri a week ago. But, his heart almost craved for the awkward situation. He had seen the look of devastation in Carter's eyes when Kerri came out of his house, and his heart felt the need to be punished for hurting her. Even though she had hurt him ten times as much when she started dating the cop in the first place.

It was different, though. He understood her need to have a normal life. He had one, once. Long ago, in another lifetime. But, she had never been able to experience that. And, he loved her so much, he wanted her to have that experience. To know what it was like to come home each night to a family. To look into the eyes of your first-born and see all the innocence of the world staring back at you.

And, so he let her go. Into the arms of another man. And, even though he knew she wasn't his. Never really was and never would be. He knew, for the rest of his sorry-excuse for a life, that he would always be hers. Other women might come and go in his life, in his bed. But, he knew none of them would be more than a substitute. A substitute for the one woman he couldn't have.

He pulled up outside her house and his hands instinctively gripped his steering wheel tighter. His nervousness showing in his white knuckles and rigid frame.

He was scared.

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill was scared of his heart breaking completely when he stepped into the house of his colonel and saw how blissfully happy she was living with her future husband.

Jack shook his head, trying to dislodge the unpleasant thoughts from his mind. No. She wasn't blissfully happy. She had come to him a week ago. He knew she had doubts about marrying the cop. He knew, as much as he knew that he would always be hers, that he was the reason for those doubts.

But, as much as his heart wanted to sing in joy that she still had feelings for him, his mind felt guilty, knowing he hadn't done enough to push her away, to give her the chance at the life she craved.

As much as he wanted to be the man to give her that life, at the time, he couldn't be. And, they both knew it. So, she walked away. Into the arms of another man. She apparently found what she was looking for.

And, now, the goa'uld were no longer a threat. The replicators were destroyed. And, their time had finally come. But, it was too late. She was engaged. She had already walked away. If he had held onto her for just a little while longer, this could have been their chance. But, he hadn't. His chance of having her was gone.

He took a deep breath. Put on his brave, general face and got out of his truck. The thought of jumping back in it and speeding off crossed his mind briefly and the door swayed, hesitantly, before he finally pushed it shut and walked up Carter's walkway.

He knocked twice before the door opened and revealed his colonel. Her hair was messier than normal and she was wearing sweatpants, with a hole in one knee, and an old stretched-out air force t-shirt with the cuffs rolled up so they didn't hang over her elbows. Something he knew that bugged her. She couldn't stand things rubbing on her elbows.

"Sir! Hi!" she greeted in surprise, immediately opening the door wider to let him inside.

"Carter," he greeted and entered her home, shutting the door behind him. He followed her through the breezeway, noting several boxes lining the wall. He felt his heart start to panic. She was packing. She was moving into Pete's new house!

Sam walked to her kitchen, opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of beer, handing it over to the general. She smiled as he took the proffered beverage.

He smiled back as he took it.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the counter, watching him open the beer and down half of it immediately. "So," she started once he pulled the bottle away from his lips and wiped his mouth off on his sleeve. "What brings you by?"

He looked at her then. She looked genuinely happy to see him, but he could see a deep sadness in her eyes as well. More than likely due to her father's death. The reason he was here in the first place. "I came to see how you were holding up," he told her plainly.

Sam felt her heart flutter at the care in his voice. After everything, he still cared. She should have known he would come by today. It had been three days since her dad's memorial service. He had told her he would always be there for her. That word had meant more to her than anything.

It told her he still cared.

"I'm okay," she said and he snorted. "What?"

"I knew you would say that. That's why I came by instead of just calling."

A small grin appeared on Sam's pale face. Somehow, no matter what, he could always make her feel better. "Really, sir, I'm good."

Jack sized her up. His warm eyes searching her face, her posture, for any sign that she was out-right lying to him. When he got to her eyes, he had all the proof he needed. "Liar," he whispered in a deep, soft voice that rumbled from his chest.

Sam sucked in a gulp of air. She just couldn't do this. Not now. She wasn't ready. She was still too emotionally unstable. He was going to rip her apart and she was going to break down.

Carter's don't cry! Carter's don't cry!

How could he do this to her?

She looked up at him, her eyes filling with unshed tears and he had the decency to look guilty at the pain he saw there.

He looked away, his own heart not able to cope with seeing his colonel hurting. He turned and started walking towards the living room, once again seeing the boxes on the floor. "Packing?" he asked in a lame attempt to change the subject and give her some time to come to terms with the previous conversation.

Sam closed her eyes briefly before responding, pushing the tears back behind her eyes. "Uh, no. That's Pete's stuff. He, uh, moved back to Denver. I was packing his stuff to send to him."

"What?" Jack gasped, swinging back around to face Sam. "He moved? Why?"

Sam couldn't maintain eye-contact. She dropped her gaze to her hands, clasped together in front of her abdomen. "I called off the wedding. I couldn't do it. It was a mistake."

"Carter…"

Sam looked up, tears wetting her cheeks. The soft way he said the name he always called her was enough to break her. The tears had won their freedom and were cascading down her face.

He felt his heart plummet. He stood there, speechless. She needed this. She needed to cry and get this all off her chest. He had come to help her deal with Jacob's death. But, he wasn't expecting to have to help with a break-up, too. How much could his old heart take?

"What's wrong with me, sir? It's like I'm romantically-handicapped! I finally found someone who could love me and I couldn't love him back!"

"Carter…"

Sam shook her head and turned around. She couldn't stand to let him see her like this. "Pete was the only man to love me, sir." She snorted. "Jonas never really did. And, before him there was no one worth mentioning."

Jack took a step towards her. "You're wrong, Sam. Almost every man who knows you is in love with you. You just don't see it."

Sam snorted, but didn't turn around.

"I'm not kidding, Carter. You are loved by everyone. Even aliens!"

Sam sniffled.

"Come on, just since I've known you there's been Narim…..Martouf…AND Lantash…..uh, there was that ambassador guy, Joe. He had that whole love-at-first-sight look in his eyes every time he looked at you. You even had a damn, all-mighty ancient fall in love with you!"

"You do realize everyone you just named is basically dead, right sir?"

Jack took another step towards her. "All the scientists, especially Felger, are in love with you."

Sam snorted, indignantly, and wiped away the tears that kept falling.

Jack took another step, standing right behind her. In a voice, so soft a feather dropping would probably muffle the sound, he whispered in her ear, "Me."

Sam stopped breathing. Her body freezing in time.

"I'm in love with you, Carter. I'm alive. I'm not a scientist."

Sam swallowed the lump in her throat, unable to speak.

Neither moved for what seemed like forever.

"I love you, too, sir."

The soft sound of her voice and the words she confessed was enough to fill his entire body with a warmness he hadn't felt in way too long. His hands came up and turned her around.

He looked in her eyes, the piercing blue brighter than ever in the pool of tears. The sadness was still there, but he understood it now. It wasn't sadness over Jacob's death. It wasn't sadness over her break-up with Pete. It was the sadness of knowing she had betrayed the one she loved the most. And the fear that she could never make it up to him.

He brushed a strand of wet hair from her face and stroked his thumb over her rosy cheeks. Her hands came up and settled flat on his chest, the need to touch him taking over. He lowered his head slowly, capturing her lips in a kiss that had been a long time coming.

The End.