Doomed

(No actual demons were harmed during the making of this story)

(But, uhhh... Bob and Dexstrang were)

Our story begins in a small town marine corps facility just outside of Salt Lake City. A young boy around 17 years of age was a well trained, sharp thinking, always killing children, calling Michael Jackson to come and capture little boys, man who loved his job. His name was Derek James. He had joined the Marines thinking he was actually subscribing to a porn website.

FLASHBACK:

" Man this is going to be great," he kept saying to himself, " finally I'll have full access to all my favorite porn videos." He scrolled down the screen. "Click here to subscribe," he said to himself. He clicked. Then a pop-up said, " Ha , you're a retard! You actually thought that this was a porn website? Ca mon. The site is called PLEASE JOIN THE you stupid ass. Oh well, there's no turning back now. You're in and you're never coming out. We will teleport you here in 3...2...1. Derek was instantly zapped to the Marine Corps facility where he began his 13 year training.

BACK TO NORMAL LIFE:

Derek was sitting next to his good friend Jack Stalls who he's known since he came to the Marines. Him and his other squad were all geared up and armed. Derek knew something was happening.

"Man, I wonder why Sarge wants us in our uniforms?" Derek said to Jack. " I hate these damn things. You can't scratch you're balls or anything."

"I here you bro," replied Jack. A whistled then sounded and the squad came to attention.

Sarge walked down the stairs. (His actor is played by The Rock)

"Alright men, we have a mission to do," said Sarge, " and as you all know, I was one of the main characters of the movie DOOM, so I have expeirience with demons.

Just then a demon came down and devoured Sarge.

"Experience my ass," said the demon. He flew away.

"This is going to be a long mission," said Derek unhopefully.

Metro City

"Hey Bob, check out this porn site!"Yelled the dog with the IQ of lower than 20. "I'm subscribing both of us right now!" The pop-up said " Well we expected this from you Dexstrang. But you also signed up Bob so both of you are going. Bye." They were instantly sucked to the marines corps.

Salt Lake City

Bob and Dexstrang instantly appeared by Derek. "Heeeeeeeyyyyyy," said Dexstrang.

A new sarge suddenly appeared. "Alright men, since The Rock was a pussy and I just got here by subscribing to a porn website, I am your new Sarge. He pointed to Bob and Dexstrang. "And these two here are your new targets, I mean Privates...privates...ya...privates." He walked towards Derek.

"Aren't you Peter Griffin from Fox's FAMILY GUY," Derek asked. Sarge stood quietly. He began, "Uhhhhhh, hey look over there!" Everyone looked to the left. Peter grabbed a checkers board out of nowhere and threw it into a car and drove away.

4 hours later

Peter came back in. "Was there a point to all that?" Derek asked.

"Not really," Peter replied. "Anyways your mission is simple, go to the Olduvai Station on Mars and beat the living shit out of the demons from DOOM 3. You know that game actually is pretty good. It has some intense graphics and..." Derek cleared his throat. "Oh sorry. Well you get the message," said Peter.

After two hours of preperation, the team enetered the Ark and appeared in the Olduvai Station. "Well here we are," said Derek. Just then a demon came down and ate Jack. Bob screamed, and Dexstrang laughed like a little girl. The demon turned towards everyone.

"Heh heh heh, you guys are fucked," he said.

WILL UPDATE SOON. PLEASE REVIEW