Alone

Author's Notes: This story was written to a really pretty song by Heart entitled Alone. All indicated text was written by and belongs to Heart. Enjoy!

The candlelight framed his face in a perfect picture of melancholy, the glow giving him a gaunt, eerie pallor of pasty white as it flickered about. Sighing, he blew it out with a weak puff and watched sadly as the smoke curled up in a lazy trail towards the ceiling. It was just as well, he didn't need the light to see.

-/I hear the ticking of the clock
-/I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark
-/I wonder where you are tonight

He glanced at the phone sitting silently next to his black leather couch, reaching for it forlornly with outstretched fingers only to pull back at the last instant. What if no one picked up? He had so much to say... So much he'd meant to say, but never had.

-/No answer on the telephone
-/And the night goes by so very slow
-/Woah, I hope that it won't end though
-/Alone

Once again, he reached for the phone, not noticing that he'd sucked his breath in and held it as soon as he heard the dial tone echoing in his ear. Breaking into a cold sweat, he dialed the number from memory. So much to say...

-/Till now, I've always got by on my own
-/I never really cared until I met you
-/And now, it chills me to the bone
-/How do I get you alone?
-/How do I get you alone?

The love he had was frightening him, and he had never before brung himself to admit that it was even there. He'd always pretended that their relationship was strictly a special friendship. Very special, intimate in some ways but platonic in others. And he couldn't ever say that it was more... He couldn't without risking everything.

Every fragile thread their relationship hinged upon was based on restraint. He restrained himself from losing his temper, from breaking rules that had been tacitly set forth in order to keep making progress, just to stay close, just to be able to watch his love from afar, never truly admitting to himself that he was most likely wasting his time. It would never work... But... No amount of reason could stop his heart from misbehaving.

Love, what a frightening emotion. It left him quaking and breathless, yearning for something that he would never be able to have. And it was killing him, simply because he couldn't say anything. He wouldn't say anything. If he were to admit it, what friendship they'd been building slowly, would be lost. And if he were rejected he didn't think he'd ever be able to face his life in Toronto again... He didn't think he could take it...

So much to say...

"Hello?"

He breathed in quickly as the other end of the line was picked up. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to say a word, caught speechless on the brink of confession. He couldn't.

So much to say...

-/You don't how long I have wanted
-/To touch your lips and hold you tight
-/Oh, darling
-/You don't how long I have waited
-/And I was gonna tell you tonight
-/But the secret is still my own
-/And my love for you is still unknown
-/Alone

He hung up the phone quickly, even as the echoes of the frantic "hello's" on the other end of the line drifted through the room and refused to silence themselves. Damn! He'd done it again. He simply couldn't...

So much to say...

-/Till now, I've always got by my own
-/I never really cared until I met you
-/And now, it chills me to the bone
-/How do I get you alone?
-/How do I get you alone?

Reluctantly, he picked up the phone again, dialing again, holding his breath again in quiet anticipation. He would talk this time. Maybe they would be able to work things out...

So much to say...

"This is Nick Knight, I'm either in bed or incommunicado, so if you want to leave your name and number, go ahead."

He slammed the phone down in frustration, his earlier hang-up had ruined any chance he had.

-/How do I get you alone?
-/How do I get you alone?
-/Alone
-/Alone

LaCroix sighed as he glanced at the grandfather clock lazily chiming midnight across from where he was sitting.

It seemed that he was alone.

THE END