Authors' Notes
This story is written by a friend of mine and me. My friend did the script, I put in the detail. If you love SpongeBob, TURN BACK NOW! This is not for the feint of heart, nor is if for little kiddies! 17 or older please! We will not be responsible for little children crying...

DISCLAMER
We do not own Spongebob! If I did, the whole thing would be taken off the air altogether because we think SpongeJerk sucks ass! The only character we do own is Trouser Trout.

Nickelodeon has signed a deal for yet another season of Spongebob Queerpants-Sorry, Squarepants...but anyway there wasnt much in this and well they're gunna keep cranking out more of this shit anyway. For those that hate Shitbob Suckdickpants, enjoy. For the Shitbob fans...fuck you all. FLAME ON!

Here we are again, yet another rousing day at the Krusty Krab. Squidward sighed and flipped a page of his art and dance magazine while Spongebitch diligently mopped the floor and the stingy Mr. Krabs was counting his money. Suddenly, there were cries and screams coming toward the Krusty Krab, and the whole undersea floor was trembling. It seems Mr. Krabs fat ass daughter is really upset. (A/N: How the fuck does a krab have a whale for a daughter anyway!Oo)

Pearl burst through the doors crying her little eyes out. "Whaa! Daddy Daddy!"

Krabs ran to his daughter's side and asked, "What is it?"

"I got a STD! Whaa!" Pearl yelled sobbing her little fat ass hear out.

"But did you get the money!" Krabs asked fastly, his hand out streched greedily, ready to except his payment.

"You just don't care do you?" She watched her dad for a moment then said with a sigh. "Here's the money!" And showed her father a stack of hundred dollar bills.

Krabs greedily snatched the money from his fat ass daughters hands and drooled at the sight of the booty his daughter earned. As soon as he came to his senses, he turned back to his daugther and said, "And your cut..." handing her a raggedy peice of shit ten dollar bill. He then went back to drooling over his dirty money.

"Jee thanks dad..." She said flatly. "Ten bucks might almost buy me a ride back home on the bus." And so the whiney bitch left.

Spongebuttslut, astonished at what he just saw, walkes up to Krabs saying, "Wow, Pearl sure seemed upset..."

Krabs was immedialty annoyed that he had been interupted from having an orgasm with his money. "Shut up," he yelled, "and get back to work! I dont pay you minimum wage to meddle and fuck around."

Spongedick saluted and yelled, "Yes sir! One more question though sir!"

"What is it now boy!" Krabs yelled back.

"Where did you get the new fur coat?" Spongedick asked.

Krabs answered with a smile on his face, "Me daughter is 16 now! I'm a pimp now! Har har har har har!" Krabs laughed as he made his way to his office to do you-know-what with his pile of dirty money.

A slam of a door signified that someone had entered the Krusty Krab. Slutbob immedialty went up to the door to greet the costomer. Upon getting there, he noticed it was fat ass pink boyfriend, Patrick.

Patrick greeted everyone with, "Hello Krusty crew!"

Squidward sighed at the sight of the bloated pink blob in the middle of the room and said, "Spongebob, tell your overweight retarded boyfriend we do take food stamps!" then went back to reading his art magazine. He turns a page a few seconds later, when a porno magazine falls out. (A/N: You all know damn well that he hides porno in those books and uses his extra legs to whack off!)

Frustrated, Patdick walks out saying something about how mad he was and how much he wants ice cream.

"What a retard..." Squidward said as he put his porno back into his art magazine and went back to whacking off.

A few minutes later, just as Spongeslut was busy washing the tables, the door slammed open again! Spongeforbrains, like the little slut he was, went to greet the costumer.

"Welcome to the Krusty Krab!"

"Is there a Mr. Krabs here?"

Hearing his name, Krabs immediatly stepped out of his office and ran his fat ass toward the man. "What do you want?" He asked.

"Hi, I'm Trouser Trout, the porno billionare from Playfish. I'll give you ten million dollars for your daughter!"

Krabs' eyes light up and foamy drool leaked from his mouth as he said, "Te- Ten Million Da- Dolllars!"

Spongecunt yelled, "Mr. Krabs, you can't sell your daughter!"

Being the greedily little bitch he was Mr. Krabs said, "The hell I cant! In fact, I'm selling the restaurant too! And I'm calling Plankton to sell the secret formula! Your all fired, and I'M FUCKING RICH!"

Squidward marched up to Krabs and yelled, "You can't fire us!" (A/N: Hey, did ya ever notice his face looks like a dick?)

Krabs looked at Squidward, "Squidward, your forty years old. You can get a real job."

Spongecunt looked at his boss, with eyes all puffy and teary, "But..but...Mr. Krabs..."

"I wont have your morons in here anymore so, get the fuck out the both you!" Krabs yelled and kicked his former employee's out, literally.

Squidward and Spongeslut landed on their asses with a loud thud. Squidward humphed and walked away while Spongeforbrains sat there crying like a fucking baby, for the rest of the night.

Spongebuttslut walked back home when sun up arrived, after crying all night, telling himself it was a joke. While walking home, he figured he might as well go and comfort his friend and sexual desire, Squidward.

Spongeprick knocked on the door to the easter island head house, but didn't get an answer. He knocked again and still no answer. So he yelled, "Squidward!" at the top of his lungs, as he entered the house. He walked up the stairs and into the only bedroom. He jaw dropped and his eyes widened in horror at what he saw.

Squidward, his friend and sexual desire, had hung himself. (A/N:Yes, it is a sad, sad day in Bikini Bottom...And nobody fucking cares.) Spongeprick took Squidwards body and buried it in the sand, leaving only the head and one tentacle to stick out so that he could watch him and whack off to his dead body in the middle of the night.

And so, Spongedick left Squidwards body lying there in the sand and left for driving school. It was Thursday again and school starts soon.

Spongecunt, slanked into the classroom and sat at his desk, the one right next to the teachers desk.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Puff walked in staggering about, looking fucked up, then flopped on her desk and grabbed a rather large bottle of pills out of her teacher's bag, which read Oxycotine. Mrs. Puff then gulped a few pills and relaxed. With those pills, she could finally tolerate Spongeslut's bullshit.

Spongeslut turned to Mrs. Puff, eye's full of tears and said, "Mrs. Puff! I have a problem!"

Mrs. Puffsondick blankly stared at Spongebuttslut for a few minutes before saying, "I'm a teacher Spongebob. What makes you think I give a fuck about you?" Mrs. Puff popped a few more pills.

"But...but..." Spongeprick studdered.

"You've been coming to learn to drive for 5 years and it's just not happening. Go home!" Puff yelled and popped more pills.

Spongeforbrains sighed, giving up and walked out the door. Before leaving, Spongeslut turned back to Mrs. Puffsondick and noticed that he head had fallen to hard top of the desk and she wasnt breathing. Fortunately, Spongebrickhead, couldn't tell wether she was sleeping or not and left without a second thought.

On his way home, he stepped on Plankton and killed him, but didn't notice, grabbed a newspaper and looked over the front page which read, 'Krabs Sells Restaurant Then Dies'. In the second column it read, 'Millionare's Playfish Girl Dies Of AIDS Virus' underneath, a picture of that whiney bitch Pearl.

This day had been the most horrible day he had ever had and he needed a bit of relaxation and love. He needed a hug. And his only friend left now was his bestfriend and boyfriend, Patrick.

Spongedick knocked on Patrick's rock and Patrick let him in. "Patrick!" he yelled, "They are all gone! All of them! Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Mrs. Puff, Squidward...Oh Patrick, what am I going to do?" Tears flowed down his spongy cheeks as he grabbed ahold of his friend and hugged him tight.

Patdick grabbed his friend and sat him down on the sofa. "I think I know what you need." Patrick ran a finger up Spongeslut's body, making him tremble.

"Mmm...Pat..." Spongeslut said, already he was horny, even though you couldn't see it. (A/N: We all know, that Spongebitch has a small dick. Otherwise he would have had Sandy a long time ago.) Patdick pulled off Spongebitchinheat's square pants, tossing them somewhere, the started to finger his friends holes. This caused Spongebitchinheat to buck and moan.

"Mmmm...Pat...more!" He moaned out as his boyfriend started to fuck him up the ass, his spikey read poker moving harshly in and out of one of his holes.

Just as Spongecunt was about to cum, Patdick placed his 300 ton self on top of Spongecunt, squishing him to death.

Seeing this, Patdick decided he better fit in with the crowd and kill himself too. So, with all the stupidity that he could muster, he found a sharp object and stabbed himself 50 times.

To this day Patrick and Spongebitch are still entangled with one another under a rock, in Bikini Bottom, which has been quadruple threated, bombed, and nuked by Mange Wolf carrying the Mac 10's, Raven Croft carrying the Colt's, Lucifer Night with his magic, and Chance Whitefang carrying the M-16's and the rest of the weapons!

The End.