A/N Yes, I've started writing the sequel, despite the fact I haven't quite finished the first one. Never mind.

Disclaimer: I said it enough before, but I don't own Doctor Who, or David Tennent (damn!). Ask the BBC.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0

1 – 'I'm a MAN!'

We open with our new Tennent-style Doctor mooching around his

'Troublesome Alien Requires Ditzy Intern Side-kick' ((Thank you to ShirleyAnn for this one!)), he's obviously quite impatiently waiting for Rose to hurry up and finish saying her goodbyes. It's the equivalent of a taxi honking its horn loudly to try and get you to hurry up, 'cept he really will leave without her if she doesn't hurry up. Hint hint Rose, take the damned hint. But no, she takes very little notice of the Doctor's warnings, even less of mine and pauses to give Mickey-the-Idiot a goodbye kiss. …But hasn't Mickey got another girlfriend? Apparently Rose has forgotten and Mickey's not about to remind her.

Anyway, Rose is fully in 'intrepid explorer' mode, as evidenced by the massive camping rucksack and our Time vampire has already picked the destination, so they're off. For the first time since acquiring Rose, the BBC decides to show us a different planet other then the Earth (in various time periods) or space stations above the surface of the Earth. Cue viewers keeling over in shock.

After collecting the Doc's coat (which I reckon was the closest he could reasonably get to a dashing, heroic cape. Well, it certainly flaps around like one) they step out of the

'Trouble Always (finds) Rose (and the) Doctor In Some (explosions) ((This one comes from Briar Elwood, thanks loads)) onto the planet of 'New Earth'….imaginative name, really. And that is the city of New New York. You can tell they were really stretching their brains to come up with that one. However, their presence has not gone unnoticed and somebody's getting suspicious.

Oh look at that, one of the props from the last series has escaped – that spider-thing will look exceedingly familiar. Weren't they responsible for nearly getting the previous incarnation of the Doctor blown up? But then again, that really doesn't narrow it down as that description pretty much covers everything from the last series…

Given the hint of the spider-droid, viewers might recognise the voice directing it. If you do, you might just think 'Y'wot? How? But-? Supposed to be dead!'…and that's pretty much the reaction Rose has later, when she meets -…err…the controller.

However right now, Rose wants to go to the city and do some sight-seeing. But, unfortunately the Doctor's inbuilt 'I'm-about-to-have-to-save-the-world-again' radar is going off. So he drags her off to the local hospital.

Trouble-on-legs explains he has a mild case of Nosocomephobia and Rose laughs that 'the Doctor' doesn't like hospitals. And what is it with him and his 'Shop'? Won't let go of an idea, will he?

Anyway, they take separate lifts, because …they just do, and our Timelord 'forgets' to warn Rose about the fact that the lifts have a nasty tendency to spray water at people they don't like. Which is everyone. So Rose gets a shock while the Doctor enjoys his impromptu shower. With all his clothes on. They've invented teleportation but this is the most efficient method they have for disinfecting someone? Something seems a little backwards here…

Up in Ward 26, only one member of the duo has made it intact and he's busy talking to all of the cats. No, really, they are cats. But then he spots someone familiar, and it appears that almost all of the characters for this episode (okay, okay, three of them) have been lifted straight from 'End of the World' from the last series.

In the mean time Rose has gone and gotten herself in trouble again with the return of the bitchy trampoline and also Random-disposable-doodle-dude-with-the-edible-name, who has …an obsession…with the trampoline that borders on the really, really, really creepy. Rose agrees with me and backs up towards the exit. Not quick enough though and…she's not exactly Rose anymore. After discovering that she's not quite so flat now she hurries off to allay our alien's worries.

For some, as yet, unexplained reason our vampire is prowling around the ward with his glasses on ((My theory on this is that he thinks the glasses make him look intelligent, so whenever he needs a bit more respect, he puts the glasses on)). Cassandra-Rose stares at him and thinks 'That's not the Doctor, he looks totally different, he's got glasses, he's just a random…hunk' without any further ado, she pounces on him. And, I swear, once she stops kissing him and lets him go he makes the funniest noise ever: he tries to talk and he squeaks.

Oh well, once he's capable of moving by himself again he follows Cassandra-Rose, who's displaying a suspicious knowledge of technology. Inside the 'intensive care' Last Timelord explains this week's major problem which he has to fix. Lots of sick people. Well, this is a hospital y'know.

Being a 900 plus year-old time-travelling alien means that he really is quite observant and so knows that Rose isn't actually Rose. Huh? Well, if that's him being calm I don't believe I want to see him miffed. Cassandra-Rose shakes her head at his temper, taps him on the shoulder and sprays holy water right into his face. Our vamperic hero goes "Ack!" and faints on the spot. Ahhh, the perils of being a vampire.

He slowly wakes up in a stand-up crypt. Or at least, it will be his crypt if he doesn't get out of there, pronto.

Cassandra being Cassandra (even if she looks like Rose), she tries to blackmail the cats into giving her money. She still hasn't changed her objective, nice to see a villain stick to their guns for once. But since that doesn't work she switches to 'Plan B' and releases a whole row of killer zombies. And also Trouble incidentally, making this one situation that he got out of without doing anything. Remind me how releasing a load of deadly people will help your evil plan, Cassandra? Oh? You don't know either? Uh oh…

The random-pieces-of-flesh-people are actually a bit cleverer then Cassandra-Rose gave them credit for and they manage to free all of the rest of them. But that's ok, they'll be grateful to Cassandra-Rose for freeing them, won't they? Err…won't they? Maybe they are, but one touch and you die. Ah, not so good then. I believe that now the best plan would be a strategic withdrawal. The Doctor agrees with me: "RUN!" he yells.

Back to Cassandra's basement room where she decides (after some shouting) that she's gotten bored of the 'bouncy castle' and opts to test-drive the vampire. All very well and good. The only problem with this is when the Random-disease-flesh-people break in. This is because Trouble-on-legs is sealed within his mind and any save-the-world information he might have…well, he's not sharing.

Later, stuck on a ladder only metres away from disease, our alien and Rose play a game of Cassandra-tennis.

Back to Ward 26 (Whatever else they're doing in this episode, you can't deny that they're getting a lot of exercise. Bearing in mind that Cassandra's room is in the basement and Ward 26 is up quite a bit and that they go between them at least twice. Yeah, exercise) where the Doc's finally had an episode-saving idea. After collecting all of the pretty-coloured bags of cures he manages to persuade Cassandra-Rose to let him give her a piggy-back ride down the lift shaft.

Just a point, but sliding down that fast would give him SERIOUS rope burn on the inside of his trouser legs. They'd probably catch fire actually…which prompts the question: what are they really made of to avoid combusting?

Not to pick holes in this, but another point: intravenous solutions are supposed to be administered into the blood by drip-feeding NOT by skin contact. It wouldn't work. Unless…the combination of the cures did something…possible, this IS the Doctor after all.

Oh well, our Timelord doesn't listen to me and takes another shower while saving the day. For once he's lived up to the title of 'Doctor': he's in a hospital and he's just cured a load of patients.

Which puts him in mind of the face-in-a-jar. 'It's said he'll talk to a wanderer, …to the man without a home…the lonely god…' as if he needed something else to make him think he's all-powerful, they're now telling him that he really is a god. But the Face doesn't want to talk today, save for their last meeting. The Doc pouts a bit at this, but forgets it as the jar, face included teleports off.

Now, what to do about the fact that Cassandra's still inside Rose? Simple. Shove her into her Devoted-disposable-doodle-dude (try saying that 5 times fast). Who then dies. Oh. So she's dead again. For real this time? We can only hope.

0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

Summary of the Synopsis: The NewNew Doctor proves he's as trouble-friendly as the last edition, as he saves the New Earth and nearly dies (several times) in the process.

0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

If you have any of your own TARDIS acronyms and want to share please, please tell me! Even if you don't, I would love a review. Hint.

Nosocomephobia is the real word (I hope) for the fear of hospitals.

Next time, when I type it (hopefully less then a week, no promises): The Doctor meets a fellow creature of the night……oh yeah, and there's a werewolf.

Tai