This is what the game didn't want to show you. Either cause they were to embarrassed or they just didn't feel like it. Ladies and gentlepeople, what Kingdom Hearts didn't want you to see.
Kingdom Hearts: Bigger, Better and Uncut!
After a hard day of slaying heartless, Sora, Donald and Goofy went to Destiny Islands to rest. "Wanna chill out over at my house?" asked Sora. Donald and Goofy nodded and went to Sora's place. When they arrived however, they found lots of other people at Sora's place. "What is everyone doing there? It's not my birthday you know." Said Sora.
"We know." said Kairi. "I was cleaning up the house, and I found this." She held out a small DVD box, in which was labeled Kingdom Hearts: Bloopers. Sora looked at the box.
"Bloopers?" he said puzzled.
"Yeah." said Riku. "It looked good, so me and Kairi invited everyone over to watch it." Sora jumped on the couch and put his arm around Kairi.
"Sweet, well what are we waiting for? Role that thing Riku." Sora said. Riku nodded and popped in the DVD.
Kingdom Hearts: Bloopers(Scene were Riku is being absorbed by the darkness.)
Riku: But I'm not scared. I'm not afraid of the darkness. (darkness begins to swallow Riku) WHAT IN THE… HEEEEELP! (now crying) SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEE! GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!
Director: Cut. Okay someone get him out of there.
End
Everyone cracks up laughing. Riku didn't find it funny at all. "Hey you would cry too if you got swallowed by a black hole."
(Scene where Donald and Goofy are walking to the Gummiship)
Goofy: Oh I got ya. While were in other worlds we can't let on were we're from. We gotta protect the world order.
Donald: Boarder. Huh……………wait a sec.
Director: Cut. (Take 2)
Goofy: We gotta protect the world odor.
Donald: (sighs) Its boarder Goofy. Boarder!
Director: Cut. (Take 3)
Goofy: We gotta protect the thing I'm supposed to say. (Donald trips and falls down the stairs.)
Director: CUT!
End
All laugh and Donald puts his hand on his forehead.
(Scene were Sora is falling the beginning of the game)
Sora is falling through the darkness, when suddenly he falls smack into the stain glass floor of Beauty.
Sora: Ow! That really hurt. Ain't I supposed to fall on my feet, and who put this floor here? (sighs) I need some coffee. (Sora walks off set to get a cup of coffee)
End
(Scene were Sora is in the secret place at the beginning game)
Ansem: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness. Soon to be completely eclipsed. (mean while Sora is looking around in the darkness for the cloaked man)
Sora: Hello? Anyone there? Hello?
Director: He's behind you Sora.
Sora: Well I can't see him, it's freaking dark in here.
Director: Cut, okay lets try it again.
Take 2
Ansem: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness.
Sora: Who's there? Who are you?
Then Sora feels a hand on his shoulder and panics and runs into the wall.
Director: Cut. ANSEM!
Ansem: Okay, okay, sorry. Lets do that again.
Take 3
Ansem: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness.
Sora: Who is that? Whose there?
Just then Sora felt his pants get pulled down. Riku had just pants him.
Sora: RIKU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!
Sora turns around and tackles Riku and starts wrestling with him. Riku was laughing all the while.
End
Sora looks at Riku who is trying to suppress laughter. "Okay Riku. I can take a joke." Said Sora calmly.
"Good." Said Riku. "Because it isn't over just yet."
(Scene where Sora, Donald, and Goofy meet Riku in the Transverse Town)
Riku: So this is the keyblade?
Sora: Hey give that back!
Riku: Here, take it.
Riku magically throws the keyblade back to Sora, but it appears behind Sora, and hits him in the back of the head, and knocks him out.
Director: RIKU!
Riku: What?
End
(Scene where Sora Kairi and Riku are running down the beach)
Sora, Kairi, and Riku are running down the beach, when suddenly Riku puts his foot out and trips Sora making him eat a mouth full of sand.
Director: RIKU!
Riku: He tripped himself.
Sora: I did not you tripped me!
Riku: Come on! With feet that big how could you not trip?
End
Back in the house everyone is in stitches. Sora is red with anger, but Kairi feels sorry for him.
"Don't worry Sora. I'm sure you're not the only one they make fun of." Just then Riku cut in.
"Your right Kairi. Your in here too."
(Scene where Sora is looking at the drawings in the hidden place)
Sora is looking at the pictures of him and Kairi in the hidden place. Sora has the flash back, but when it comes back to the present, he has drawn a mustache on Kairi's picture.
Director: SORA! Hey, thats pretty good.
Sora: Thanks. I should be and artist.
End
(Scene where Sora is a heartless and Kairi is hugging him)
Sora as a heartless runs to Kairi, and she reaches out and hugs him. Sora transforms back to a human, but suddenly farts.
Kairi: SORA! Come on! That was disgusting!
Sora: Oh give me a break. Heartless can't fart, and I've been holding that in since lunch.
End
(Scene where Kairi and Sora are near Kingdom Hearts, at the end of game)
Sora: Kairi!
Kairi: Sora!
They run towards each other, then the ground shakes. Instead of catching her however, Sora misses and Kairi falls into the endless abyss. Just then Pain and Panic appear at Sora's side.
Panic: She isn't gonna be happy when she gets out.
Pain: If she gets out.
Sora: If. If is good.
End
Back at the house Kairi glares at Sora. No one speaks, afraid they might set her off.
"We are going to have a talk about this later." Said Kairi very strictly. Sora frowns.
"I'm sorry Kairi. I've been a bad boyfriend." He said, and Kairi looks back at him.
"Don't even try it." She said, and Sora muttered 'Damn' under his breath.
"You two are so cute when you fight." Said Riku, but Kairi smiled evilly.
"Now come on Riku. Did you really think that you where left out of the fun?"
(Scene where Riku and Sora are on the bridge at Destiny Islands)
Riku: Sora! Here catch.
Riku tosses the Paopu to Sora.
Riku: If two people eat it the Destiny's become intertwined. I know you want to try it don't you?
Sora: (excitedly) YEAH I HAVE! (swipes fruit from Riku) Kairi, come here and try this.
Riku chases after Sora.
Riku: Hey! Come back here! I wanted to try that with her!
Director: Cut!
Take 2
Riku: Here catch! (tosses the fruit to Sora)
Sora: What the… (Sora hits fruit back to Riku and the fruit hits Riku in the head)
Director: SORA!
Sora: What? That thing could've killed me!
Take 3
Riku: Here catch! (tosses fruit to Sora)
Sora catches the fruit, then smiles evilly.
Sora: Here Riku!
(Riku turns around, and Sora tosses the fruit back to Riku, and it hits him in the nuts. Riku makes a weird face, and falls off the bridge into the sand.)
Director: SORA!
Sora: What?
End
(Scene with Maleficent and Riku in the Tranverse Town)
Maleficent: See? He traded you in. Tossed you aside and simply replaced you.
Riku frowns, but then feels a hand on his butt.
Riku: What the hell?
He turns around to face Maleficent. She then winks at Riku.
Riku: Oh God!
Riku begins to throw up.
Director: MALEFICENT!
Maleficent: Well I can't help it. He's cute.
End
Back at the house everyone was on the floor with laughter. Riku has sunk completely into his chair. His face red with embarrassment.
"Don't worry Riku, I'm sure someone had it worse then you." Laughed Sora. Steam came out of Riku's ears.
(Scene with Cloud and Sora at the end of the Coliseum)
Cloud: Here. Take this and never lose sight of the darkness.
Cloud puts something in Sora's hand. It's a girl's thong. Cloud grabs it back from Sora and quickly pockets it.
Cloud: Sorry that's mine.
Cloud blushes.
Sora: (sweat drop)
End
Arieth glares at Cloud. Cloud has his head down in embarrassment.
"You aren't going to get off so easy." Said Arieth threateningly. You couldn't see through the scarf, but Cloud was scared out of his mind.
(Scene where Sora is in the hotel with Leon and Yuffie)
Kairi: Hey! Wake up you lazy bum.
Sora: Huh? Kairi?
Sora sits up dazed. Looks around the room to see Yuffie and Leon making out in a chair in the corner of the room.
Sora: (sweat drop)
End
(Scene where Sora, Donald and Goofyare about to fight Leon and Yuffiein the Coliseum)
Donald, Goofy and Sora are ready for battle. The caption says Final Battle: Leon and Yuffie. They get ready, and the caption is removed, and there stand Leon and Yuffie. However they are standing there making out.
Sora, Donald and Goofy: (sweat drop) and then begin to laugh)
End
Back in the house, the DVD screen says Intermission. Donald turns the lights on and Leon and Yuffie are in the back making out. Suddenly Leon breaks off.
"Hey! What happened? Turn the lights back off." He said angrily.
"Sorry you two love birds. But we have to stop here. The movie is at and intermission." Said Riku. Sora spoke up.
"Well what are we supposed to do until it starts up again?" Just then Kairi grabbed his ear.
"You and me are going to have that talk remember?" she said. She pulled him towards another room and saw Cloud going the opposite way with Arieth.
"I hope this is a short intermission." gulped Sora.
To Be Continued…