Hotline
By UltimatePalmTree
"Are you sure you two want to go through with this?"
It was Axel who spoke. They could barely see him in the dark hallway, but they definitely heard his voice. The two other Organization XIII members nodded resolutely, unsure if Axel could actually see him. "Good. Let's move out," he said. The red-haired Organization member stood up slightly, and scuffled over to a nearby trashcan. He quickly ducked out for a second before nodding to Marluxia and Demyx and starting at a brisk trot down the hallway.
"What are we supposed to be doing again?" Demyx whispered to Marluxia.
"I have no idea," was Marluxia's response. "He said just let him do everything in this one,"
The three Organization members made their way through the darkened building, a bit apprehensive of their surroundings. As far as they knew, everyone was asleep. As far as they knew, almost everyone was a sound sleeper, and they wouldn't hear them doing… whatever they were supposed to be doing. Axel had been quite mysterious about this whole affair, which is what sort of intrigued Demyx and what sort of repulsed Marluxia. He hadn't been quite the same since he saw Axel and Roxas… Yeah, I'd better stop right there.
Axel finally reached a door, looked through the single pane of glass and nodded. "This is where we want to be," Axel said after a moment's hesitation. His black-gloved hand went into a pocket as he fished around for something before taking out a small sliver of silver. "Here we are," he nodded again and set to work, picking the lock.
The door sprang open after a few minutes of working it. "Wait," Marluxia said, grabbing his companion by the hood of his cloak. "Where'd you get that hairpin?"
Axel pointed to his hair and said, "How do you think I get it to stick up like this? The gel sometimes ain't enough!" With a swish of his cloak, he disappeared into the room. Marluxia shrugged at Demyx and the two of them followed suit. It was a relatively small room, with three or four windows at the other end of the room. There was only one piece of furniture in the entire room: a small end table situated in the center of the room. Sitting on this piece of furniture was—
--a telephone.
"Um? Axel?" Marluxia asked, thoroughly confused. "What is that?"
Axel looked at him as if he was nuts and said, "What does it look like?"
Marluxia was forced to answer, "A phone…" And then said, "But why a phone?"
"Shush!" Axel growled, now fiddling with the key pad of said phone, "I need to concentrate,"
Marluxia and Demyx exchanged a glance that said, 'What the frell?' quite plainly. "It's ringing!" Axel hissed happily. "It's ringing!" At this, the Melodious Nocturne and the Graceful Assassin sat down near Axel, who was now holding the black phone in his lap. Demyx noticed the little Nobody motif on the front of it, near the key pad. Classy… was his thought.
Axel straightened up as if an electric current had suddenly gone through him and said, in a voice that was definitely not his own, "Hello, is this the Gamblers Anonymous Hotline? Yes, I have a friend who has a gambling problem. His name is Luxord, and…"
Demyx had a feeling Luxord was going to be pissed the next morning.
Another crackfic inspired by the vessel of evil! Woot! So, the story on this one, you may ask? I have a friend who's actually quite funny, and she just recently got into Kingdom Hearts. My other friend and I were explaining the Organization members to her and we got to Luxord. Somehow, the topic of a gambling hotline came up, and she said, "You know what we should do? We should call one of those Gamblers Anonymous hotlines and say that our friend Luxord has a gambling problem!" I agreed we should, but we didn't get around to doing it. Sadly… I probably wouldn't do it anyways… I don't like getting in trouble…
So, what'd y'all think of this one? I kind of like it myself, but I wanna know what you guys think. I tried making it sound like Axel was gonna do somethin' really bad, but I'm not too sure on that. It sort of sounds perverted to me, and that was my goal… So maybe I succeeded.
So, wanna see more crackfics? Well, they're comin' with no signs of stopping. I love writing crackfics; they're fun!
Another note: If I owned Kingdom Hearts and everything to do with it, this fanfic would've probably made it into the game somehow. Play Kingdom Hearts and try searching for this fic situation. I guarantee you will not find it in there. So, what does this tell you?