Resident Parody 4

By BahamutZERO

Chapter 4-1

(radio)

Salazar: Oh, what an emotional moment we have here. Too bad you'll never get to do her in the ass.

Leon: We'll see. I'll kick yours and do hers.

Salazar: You're just an extra in my script, so don't get carried away.

Leon: I don't remember being a part of your crappy script. Oh, snap!

Salazar: Then why don't you show me what a first class script is like... through your own actions.

Leon: What the hell does that even mean?

Salazar: ...

Leon: ...

BEOOP

(Leon and Ashley run around they reach the nest. Suddenly, giant bugs fly out and grab Ashley)

Ashley: LEON, HELP!

Leon: You asshole-bitch-whore-cunt-sluts! (shoots the bugs)

(Leon makes outside. Cue radio)

Salazar: I wonder if you can see me, Mr. Kennedy.

Leon: If you even touch her, I'll break your bones. Oh yeah...

Salazar: Don't worry about Ashley; her ass is nice and safe with me. The ass-pounding ritual here will make me a happy man.

Leon: DAMMIT!

BEOOP

(Leon reaches Salazar's throne room)

Salazar: Don't you know when to throw in the towel, Mr. Kennedy? (throws switch and Leon falls)

Ashley: NO!

(Leon uses the grappling hook)

Salazar: Where is the satisfying sound of one's impalement?

Leon: Not falling for this old trick! (farts)

Salazar: Ack! Enough games! Kill him! KILL!

(radio)

Salazar: So maybe you have 9 lives after all. But it doesn't matter now Mr. Kennedy! I've sent my right hand to dispose of you.

Leon: Your right hand comes off?

Salazar: Why didn't I see that coming?

Leon: Well, I was asking because that red-cloaked figure you sent after me appears on your LEFT in every cut scene.

Salazar: ...

Leon: ...

BEOOP

Next: Chapter 4-2 and 4-3