I was comforted solely by Edward's reassuring and loving arms that were wrapping around me.
When would it end? I was better this way, couldn't they see that.
Several Months Pass
School is over now. I applied to colleges, mainly to appease Edward and Charlie. I was accepted to a local college and plan on attending in the fall. Though I would never admit it to Edward, I am sort of glad to be going to college, it's a once in a lifetime kind of thing. Well, at least it is the first time you do it. I knew I would be attending college more than a few times. Besides, Edward made it into the same school, which pleased us both; of course I never had a doubt. He's amazingly smart – okay, perfect, but I already knew that.
My parents and I have had our share of arguments by now. Mainly, over my new home and lifestyle with the Cullen's, but eventually they settled down (for the most part). They insist that if I'm going to marry Edward – which I am – that I do it sometime after college. They want this for a few reasons: first, they would prefer to delay a wedding for me for as long as possible, you know, give us time to break up. And, second, they're hoping that one – or both – of us will find someone new to focus on and this whole first-love thing will blow over. Not likely.
It doesn't matter though, Edward wants me to marry him but he doesn't care when. Though I think he would prefer sooner rather then later. And so would I for that matter. I think it'd be nice for my parents to see me happy with my husband for a while. I say "for a while" because I know that my relationship with them cannot last much longer. Once I hit my mid-twenties, Carlisle explained, I would be pushing it. In fact, he thinks it would be better if I "died" less than a year or two after graduation.
But it hurts to think of faking my own death. I hate to think of hurting the ones I love. Even though I know that one day they will be gone and I will be here, tearless in my mourning. I try to think that this is best. That I will still be able to watch them and protect them, but I don't know. I am trying to leave that kind of planning to the Cullen's – whose name I will take once I "die" – and I am working on my relationship with my parents. Though part of me says that it would be best if I left them alone and just disappeared, cutting off all contact, rather than dying, but I want them to know me.
Like I said, I try not to think about it too much.
On the other hand, life as a vampire is fantastic. I have even joined in on the occasional baseball game, though most times I prefer to watch with Esme. I think the others wouldn't mind if I played, but strange things happen when I play. For one, Edward runs faster than ever – when I'm happy – and my other teammates – like Rosalie – tend to fumble more than normal. I try to stay out and contain my powers. I'm learning to handle them better and better each day. School was the best at teaching me to contain my powers. Everyday occurrences would make certain emotions flare-up and cause people to trip or fumble or walk with an amazing amount of grace. It gave Edward and Alice a good laugh at school to watch.
Even at graduation the amazingly graceful Cullen's were more elegant than usual. And certain friends walked across the stage with more poise than normal.
And now my eyes have started to lose their red. I am told it normally takes a year to completely fade into topaz, but I can wait. I have all the time in the world, so to speak.
AN: It's over. I was reluctant to finish, and I thought that this was the best way. There wasn't much more I wanted to put and I wanted to wrap it up. Tie up all loose ends.
Sigh.
Bye All!