He was laying on his side, arm tucked under his head, watching her sleep through half-closed eyes. She rolled onto her back, licking her lips in her sleep and sighing. The blanket slid down to her waist. He reached over, drawing it back up to cover her. The air conditioning was on and it was cool in the apartment. He wanted her to be comfortable. Watching her snuggle down in the bed and sigh again, he decided she was.
He slid out of the bed and went over to the window, which looked out over an alley. What the hell was he doing? God help him, he'd done it now. She'd knocked him so far off kilter he was never going to regain his bearings. It had taken him this long to find his place with her, and now...he was lost again. He had no idea where he stood any more. What did she expect of him now? Was this just a one-shot deal and tomorrow everything would be back to normal? Normal...what the hell was normal now? He was terrified that things were going to be awkward between them. He wasn't sure he could handle that.
Geez...he should have listened to that little voice in the back of his head...the one that started telling him to go home when he'd started thinking about her outside the realm of their friendship. Yeah, that was when he had quit thinking with his head...hell...
But what about her? He looked over his shoulder at her sleeping form and he sighed. It was hopeless. No matter what he did, he could no longer deny that he loved her. He still couldn't remember when he'd fallen for her, but he knew why. She was smart, spunky and fearless, but most of all, she stood by him. Even when she questioned his judgment, she stood by him. When the tides turned against him, she never did. And when he faltered, she was always there to catch him. Always. In the uncertain world that made up his life, she was his only certainty. And what did he do? He slept with her. He let his hormones dictate his actions and now he felt like his life was balancing on the edge of a precipice. On nudge from her in the wrong direction, and everything would fall apart. How the hell could he have let this happen?
You'll find her, Bobby. Maybe you already have. He'd asked her what she meant by that, and she had never answered him. Now his mind strayed back over the later part of the day. Shopping for dinner ingredients...he smiled. He'd loved hearing her laugh like that. And it had set the mood for a fun evening. She wouldn't stay out of the kitchen, knowing it annoyed him when he was trying to cook, until he'd threatened her with his cuffs. He was almost disappointed that she hadn't called his bluff. But it was damn near too much when she'd slipped in front of him at the sink...then grabbed his belt...and...all the tension...sweet tension...that had been building between them demanded release. Years of longing, of lust, of unrequited love...all brought to resolution in one sweet night...first crashing like storm waves against a rocky cliff, and then tender, loving...
No...she wouldn't...not her...she would never take advantage of him, use him...she'd shared this night with him. It was theirs. And now, she was his, and he was...hers. But hadn't she already had him? For years? Without ever even knowing she did?
She rolled over in her sleep, reaching out for him, intent on snuggling into his body for warmth, comfort, and reassurance. She had to convince herself that it had not all been a dream...a wonderful, passionate dream, but a dream nonetheless. And her arm fell upon air. Frowning, she opened her eyes. Had it been a dream?
Then she saw him, silhouetted by the window. She knew he suffered from nightmares, but after what had happened between them...? Ah, but who the hell ever knew how his mind worked. "Bobby?"
He turned quickly. "I woke you," he said softly as he returned to the bed.
"No. But when you weren't here..."
"I'm sorry. I...couldn't sleep."
He slid in beside her under the blanket, into her arms. "Why?"
He hesitated. Should he tell her...? "I...I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
"Of...losing you."
She thought to herself again: who could ever figure out how the hell his mind worked? She certainly couldn't. "I don't think I understand."
"What's going to happen, when we go to work tomorrow?"
"We're going to go back to work on this case until we solve it, and then we'll move on to the next one."
"Ok..."
She lightly kissed his cheek. "But after work," she whispered softly into his ear. "That's when everything changes...when you quit being the genius and I quit being the tough cop and we revert back to being us."
"Us..." He let the word tumble about in his head. "I like that. Us." He nodded and was quiet for a few minutes, chasing his thoughts around in his head. "Um, Alex, on the way back from your parents' house last night..." Her fingers traced small circles on his chest, distracting him.
"What about it?"
"You never...answered me..."
Moving to his abdomen, she enjoyed the feel of the soft hair on his flat stomach. "About what?"
"What?" He forced his mind back on track. "Oh, a-about what you said...about finding..." Her lips traced their way along his jaw, toward his neck. He swallowed, again forcing himself to focus on the question. "Finding her...a-a mother...for my children..."
"You found her, didn't you?"
She nuzzled his ear and the answer slipped out of his mind with everything else. When her tongue hit one certain spot just behind his earlobe, he turned into her, pulled her close against him, and that was it. She was his, and he was hers... He didn't have to use words to answer her. Yes, he had found her...
fin.