You all think I'm crazy. Xaldin told me I'm crazy. Saïx, Demyx, Vexen and Zexion all told me I'm crazy. I think Xemnas is the only one who's yet to tell me I'm crazy, but I bet he thinks it.

Well, I've got two words for all of you.

As if!

The scariest people are the ones who are truly sane. The others, I think losing their hearts sent them further over the deep end and now they're all scrambling to get back to the high ground that I never left.

Like I told that Sora kid, nothin' any-old about me!

He's a lot like Roxas, that kid. Only thing that's different is Sora smiles and his hair is darker. Everything else though…

Kind of weird, how much they are alike and different. It's like they're reflections of each other only inverted.

Roxas was a weird kid. Axel found him down in the city below the castle and Xemnas nearly shit himself, he was so pleased. Still, Roxas was a creepy little kid. While I never let memories of my emotions get away with me, he didn't even have those! Always quiet, never smiled, never spoke unless spoken to first. That kid had one hell of a glare though! And man did he know how to use it!

I don't know what Xemnas saw in the kid. He kept going on about Hearts-this and Keyblades-that. What the hell is a Keyblade, anyway? I mean, I use keys to break open the tape holding cardboard boxes shut, but an actual weapon or tool? As if.

You know, I've never been able to figure out what Xemnas and the others saw in Hearts. I went along with the experiments 'cause you gotta stick by your friends and Xemnas and Xaldin and the others of the "original six" were all the friends I had. Then we all lost our Hearts because Zexion just had to know something and egged Xemnas on, even though ol' Ansem was about to have a litter of kittens. Ansem was right when he said it was damned dangerous.

I think what scares the others most about me and makes them think I'm crazy is that I'm perfectly fine without having a Heart. I haven't said as much to Xemnas because I don't care to have his little pet, Saïx, or that traitor-killing traitor, Axel, on my ass. Not worth the trouble. So let's just keep that our little secret, got it?

Not having real emotions ain't as bad as everyone's making it out to be. To me, anyway. I think I'm the only one who really doesn't give a shit if we ever get them back. Everyone's always moaning and whining, you'd think they were trying out for the scarecrow bit in that old flick with the witches and munchkins and crap. "Oh, if only I had a heart!"

As if.

Remembering emotions are good enough for me. And you know all that anger and hate and rage that Xemnas preaches about? Clogs the thinking processes. Take his pet Saix for example. All it takes is a little goading and that man is up in your face ready to tear your throat out. Now, I'm all for tearing throats out, but how can you enjoy it when you're emotions are overloading your thinking processes? You can't! And then afterward, you realize you don't remember what you just did! Totally screws you up!

Like drugs. Yeah. Emotions are like drugs. But like drugs, I never had much use for emotions in my line of work. Before joining up with Ansem's lab rats, I was a sniper with my world's armed forces. Drugs and emotions are guaranteed to get you killed during a fight with guns. You gotta think clear, aim, and shoot the bastards. Then I lost my eye, ended up with Xemnas' crew and look at me now!

But, you know…

I do miss one thing about having emotions. Messing with Roxas and Sora is all good fun, but I miss being able to laugh.

Back to that Sora kid…

Can't wait to take him on. He took out practically half the Organization! Not that I really care. They all got what was coming anyway. Anger and revenge clouds your thinking.

I want to be fully in control of my mind when I fight him.

Clear-headed.

Sane.

…

As if I'll ever be anything else!

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Author's Notes: Ta-da! I'm on a roll with these first point perspectives. Heh. Well, if I'm thinking correctly, this is the first Xigbar-centric fic here, which makes me sad really because I have nothing but love for that dude. Anyway, as always, feedback is appreciated!

Disclaimer: The characters used in this fic are owned by Square-Enix, BVG, Disney and not me. I just use them for the joint purposes of entertainment and taking my creativity for a walk.