Summary: Renkotsu is cooling off in the hot spring after a tiresome day...however he is joined by Jakotsu and Bankotsu...Three hot guys in a spring. Rated T for a reason. Hinted BankJak

Ok, I don't own Inuyasha, just this crazy oneshot.

Not very creative title ether must I add, but I needed something to work with...

Renkotsu's Adventures in...The Hot Spring:

It was of course, meant to be a normal day in the many lives of Renkotsu that he decided to bathe. There was something about slaughtering sixty grown men in only a matter of seconds, though extremely good fun, (not for the poor guys that had just been cooked alive) had its downfalls. For instance, the strong stink of gunpowder was always appraised in his character, along with the putrid whiffs of Mukostu's potions, and some unbearable odor that Kyokotsu had unleashed on Renkotsu's person. But...the worst...single worst thing that had happened...

For some warped, deranged reason somehow Jakostu's lipstick had became embedded on Renkotsu's garments. After questioning if this was some sick joke, no one had made a comment except Jakotsu, who waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

After that little drama, he decided that he definitely needed to bathe.

The Hot Springs were lovely and clear, so the second in command threw off his attire and sank into the steamy, refreshing depths of the spring. He sighed in contentment, cradling his head in arms, as he peered at the sky. Due to his past training as a monk, he could easily foretell the heavens. This he kept secret: if any of the seven found out this, he would be performing like some feudal era Mystic Meg, and this he certainly did not long for.

After being severely disappointed by his current star sign predication: (Dreadful things shall befall you, and you shall suffer a ultimately death, have a nice day.) he decided to just forget his past woes and sink into the sweet waves of the hot spring.

That is, until he heard two familiar voices drifting above the trees.

"Please, Aniki?"

"No...Jakotsu...not with the eyes...not with the eyes..."

Renkotsu's left eye twitched rapidly. He did not wish to hear what Jakostu was begging for, nor did he wish for the two to come bursting in on him, seeing as he was most vulnerable in his current state: In other words, butt naked on his back in the river. The horror of seeing Jakotsu's smirking face as his eyes scanned Renkotsu's bare body was enough for the bald member of the band of seven to do something very uncharacteristic:

He screamed.

"AGGGG! UGGGGGG!"

Of course, that bought the two wandering men to the spot where he lounging. The whole situation would have been quite amusing if the outcome had not been so humiliating for poor Renkotsu. Bankotsu burst from the bushes, swinging his Banyru above his head, his face contorted in a mad battle cry.

Renkotsu threw himself out the way as the entwining blades of Jakotsutou slammed into the wall next to him, missing his head by a mere inch.

The two men stood panting and ready, willing to fight to the death for their seemly in trouble comrade. However, they were just met with the sight of a trembling, naked Renkotsu, and no life threatening danger in sight. Bankotsu's fierce, ruthless expression melted into a somewhat confused one. Jakotsu blinked a few times.

So the two men did what they only could do at that precise moment.

They fell apart in rip roaring laughter.

The swords were cast away as the two sank to the ground, hugging themselves with mirth. Both had tears streaming down their faces, as only a quick glance in Renkotsu's direction could force the never ending sniggers to start up again. Renkotsu coughed and crossed his legs, a hot flush dominating his cheeks. Trying to pick up what shreds of dignity he still possessed, he slipped into the waters, turning his back on them.

The laughter soon ceased after what seemed an eternity, where Renkotsu prayed they had followed his secret prayers and left him well alone. But to his dismay, there was a shuffling of clothing behind him as two figures jumped in the spring, sending a mini tidal wave in Renkotsu's direction, accompanied with a rumble of male laughter, and another slightly higher tone of laughter.

It seems the two males had were oblivious to Renkotsu's sharp intake of breath. Instead, they were both laughing and joking, the steam rolling off their both well sculpted torso's.

"Hey, Renkotsu!"

The second in Command tried hard to conceal his throbbing temple as he plastered a false grin on his face as he turned to face his "big brother."

"Yes, Aniki?"

Bankotsu smiled smugly as he beckoned him over to the other side of the pool, to which Renkotsu reluctantly obliged, trying hard to shake off his feeling of impending doom. Jakotsu had a seemly devilish smile on his face as he lent over to Bankotsu and whispered something inaudible in his ear, which caused "Aniki", to grin, gently touching Jakotsu's face in return, his mouth hovering inches away from his friends.

Renkotsu felt somewhat foolish, hoping to the very miserable bastards that had cursed the earth with his existence, that he would not be soon seeing a full on, very explicit Yaoi fest. It seemed almost other worldly, but it was then he became...well, painfully aware that Bankotsu and Jakotsu were circling him like vultures, with both very, very predatory like gleams in their eyes.

Their only doing it to wind you up...Their only doing it to wind you up...Their only doing it to wind you up...Their only doing it to wind you up...

His back suddenly stiffened as he felt a hand brush it, Renkotsu's eyes widening in shock. Then the warmth of a body pushed itself against him, hands wrapping themselves around his fine waist. Then a shiver as soft breath belonging to Jakotsu tickled his ear.

"Do you wish to know how that Lipstick came to be on your person, Renkotsu?"

It was Jakotsu's voice, using the same tone that he used to coax Inuyasha. Renkotsu would have done anything in that single moment to have snatched Jakotsu's hairpin out of his silky waves and stab him in the eye. Several times, actually.

Bankotsu then swept into his vision, with that so dangerous trademark smirk. Renkotsu made a mental note of how close he was, before he figured out the two mens motives.

No.

GOD NO.

In a desperate attempt for his own sanity, sexuality, and the few remaining fragments of his dignity, he tried to unbind himself from Jakotsu, who's grip was like iron.

What about my hopes, my dreams? I'm being sexually harassed by two of my comrades, who both happen to be men. ANIKI! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!

But "Aniki" was going to be doing what he bloody well liked. As Renkotsu feared, he felt the leader's lips touch his.

Far away, in a lovely, normal little shelter north of the woods, Suikotsu was licking the blood of his much loved steel claws, where a terrified, high pitched scream sent the birds fleeting from the trees,

along with two very familiar men's laughter that echoed around the forest.

Suikotsu blinked in surprise as his comrade burst from the undergrowth, with only a dock leaf as his cover of his...ahems. Renkotsu looked beyond hysterical, his chest heaving up and down with the constant effort of running. Seeing his only "sane" friend, Renkotsu thrust himself forward, wrapping his arms around the shocked Suikotsu's waist, before bursting into tears. Sighing empathetically, Suikotsu gave his friend a comforting pat on the back.

Before grabbing his ass.

The End

BB3: I'll leave his reaction to your minds purely. Please read and review!

Cat: YAY! Finally, Inuyasha Yaoi! (Parties for four days straight)