AN: A bit from this entry was inspired by the live-action movie version of Popeye
I don't know if the alerts are working yet...I haven't been receiving any, but I didn't want to put off posting this any longer.
Hunting Trips
"You are enjoying this."
Legolas bit back his grin. "Now, Aragorn, why would you say that?" he asked in an innocent tone, slowly circling the tree and gazing in amusement at his friend's upside-down features.
"Because I can see that smirk on your face...just cut me down, Legolas."
"But what if you injure your head?"
"I will injure yours if you do not CUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!"
Smothering another snicker, Legolas shrugged lightly and easily cut through the rope where it was anchored around the tree trunk. As he had predicted, Aragorn immediately fell to the floor of the forest, banging his head on the ground and loudly complaining about Legolas' methods.
"I believe you are out of the trap, Aragorn," the elf said, crouching beside his friend.
Aragorn rubbed his head and glared at Legolas. "What did you do that for? I could have been seriously hurt!"
"What?" Legolas blinked in surprise. "You told me to cut you down!"
"I did not!" Aragorn snorted. "I said 'get me down'...GET ME DOWN!"
To Aragorn's astonishment, Legolas burst out laughing. "You do realize," he commented, once he had calmed down enough to speak, "that you were the one injured this time?"
Aragorn snorted again. "I do not know what you mean," he retorted, standing up and brushing himself off.
"Come now, Aragorn," Legolas leapt up after him. "What was it you were saying earlier? Ah yes...something about how I should stick to hunting rabbits because every other animal would turn on me? And even then rabbits might prove too dangerous?" he shook his head slowly. "I am not the one who is routinely injured while hunting."
"No," Aragorn agreed, whirling around to face his friend. "You are merely the one who manages to get into life-threatening peril two steps from your chamber door...aye, and within the chamber as well. Tell me, Legolas, for such a well-liked elf how is it that you have so many enemies?"
Legolas glared at his friend for a moment, then turned away with a huff. "I do not have 'so many enemies'," he called back.
"Legolas, every time we meet someone is trying to kill you," Aragorn protested, sprinting to catch up with his friend. "Do you think that is the normal way men greet each other?"
The elf turned to answer, but his eyes widened as a familiar sound suddenly filled the air.
Aragorn looked down at his feet. "Not again," he groaned.
With a whoosh, a noose tightened around Aragorn's ankle and hoisted him into the air, leaving him dangling eye-to-eye with his friend. "Legolas?"
"Do you wish me to cut you down again?" the elf asked, his momentary anger at his friend forgotten in face of Aragorn's current situation. "You know, for such a well-trained ranger you certainly seem to fall into your share of traps. Perhaps you need more practice tracking?"
Aragorn glared at Legolas as best as he could from his upside-down position. "Get. Me. Down."
The elf grinned. "Have you forgotten your manners, Strider?"
"NOW!"
Legolas chuckled. "Now you have no right to tease me about my enemies...at least I do not have the habit of falling prey to hunter's traps."
"I suppose you think this sort of thing happens far too often," Aragorn retorted.
"Nay, not often enough."
"Legolas," Aragorn nearly growled. "Your every word is placing your life in further danger."
"Perhaps we should avoid hunting from now on," Legolas commented, making a great show of taking his time walking over to the tree where the rope was anchored. "I hear the library in Imladris is quiet...there would be no trapper's noose there."
"Perhaps you would like to find yourself locked in the linen closet again."
Legolas snorted. "Should I find that motivation to cut you down?" he asked in a dry voice, but still moved toward the rope. Suddenly, the ground gave way with a sickening drop, and he found himself falling several feet to land with a thud at the bottom of a rather deep pit.
Wry laughter met his ears. "Perhaps you should learn to watch your feet, Legolas."
The elf stood, a bit painfully, brushing the dirt from his clothes. "Who would put a pit this close to a noose snare?"
"I do not know," Aragorn's voice was faint, and Legolas could just see his friend stretching up in an attempt to cut the rope himself. "But I believe we should avoid hunting in this area again...if we can get out."
"Aye," Legolas called in agreement. "I believe a few weeks in the library at Imladris could be quite enjoyable after this adventure."
He heard a thump from the ground above him, and Aragorn's head soon appeared peering over the edge of the pit. "For once, Legolas, I think I agree with you."
Legolas grinned. "Whoever knew hunting could be so dangerous?"
Reviews? Flames? Tar and Feathers? Anyone up for a smoothie?
Next on the list: Elladan and Elrohir. Oh, and what possible trouble could one get into in a library? (Mwahahahaha!)
I may revise and do a future one featuring an actual hunting competition...but this idea popped into my head when I was trying to write one for hunting, and I just couldn't let it go.