A/N: The idea for this story came from one of my friends when we had gone to see HP and the GoF for the second time. Convinced that Harry and Cedric were gay, he constantly would tell me to write a story about it. I finally gave in and wrote this. The people who've read it said they liked it, so I decided to put it up on this site.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire : The Real Story

By: Kitten Velour

Credit for several ideas involving Harry and Cedric go to lordofthefrogs (previously mentioned friend in the A/N)

This is the actual account of Harry's fourth year, taken down by a psychotic girl who believes she's a sane Ravenclaw.

Chapter 1 : I don't think I like girls!

Harry still couldn't believe that he had been picked as the fourth champion. Was that even possible? Apparently it was. Harry had just been happy that Cedric Diggory had been chosen as the Hogwarts champion. Whenever he saw Cedric he got this weird fuzzy feeling inside. Of course, Harry had no clue what the odd feeling was.

The night before, Hagrid had shown Harry the dragons that were going to be the First Task. Harry knew that he should tell Cedric as he was almost positive that the idiot Bulgarian and the French slut already knew. Harry paused in his walking, he should probably figure out their names before he started referring to them as "the idiot Bulgarian" and "the French slut".

As Harry walked through the passages, he saw that all the students were wearing pins that said, "Potter Stinks". Harry sighed and pushed past those idiots that dare to call themselves humans, looking for Cedric. He found Cedric in the courtyard lying on a bench with several of his Hufflepuff friends. Walking over, Harry found himself thinking, 'What kind of name is Hufflepuff? For god's sake, it sounds like some kind of fluffy marshmallow snack…'

Cedric looked up from his bench and got up, seeing Harry. He gave a slight glare to his friends and stood to meet Harry.

Harry, feeling Cedric's eyes on him, blushed slightly. "Uh… can I talk to you for a second?" he asked. Cedric nodded and they walked a bit away from the other Hufflepuffs.

"I've asked them not to wear the pins," Cedric said, looking at Harry sympathetically.

Harry shrugged, seeming to not care that Cedric was trying to make him feel better, but on the inside he was doing a happy dance. "It's dragons."

Cedric looked at him. Since he was a Hufflepuff and, indeed, not a Ravenclaw, he didn't have the faintest idea what Harry was talking about. "What?"

"The First Task is dragons," Harry explained. "The id- um… Krum and… Fleur already know."

Cedric smiled, "Thanks," he said. He was about to walk away when he suddenly stopped. "Do you want to come with me to Hogsmeade on the next weekend?"

Harry was surprised, but tried to sound cool, "Sure… I didn't have any plans for the next Hogsmeade weekend."

Cedric nods and begins to walk away, "See you then, Harry."

Harry watches him leave, then turns and sees someone watching them. The man walks over to him and Harry finally identifies him. It's Lucius Malfoy! He leans lazily on his cane. He wears a fur-lined black cloak and a black hat.

"Potter! Just the half-blood I was looking for!" Lucius said.

Harry looked around, confused. Since when does Lucius Malfoy greet him nicely.

Lucius sauntered over to him, "Now, I heard about you becoming the fourth Triwizard champion. This must be very stressful for you," he puts his arm across Harry's shoulders and gestures in a very Jack Sparrow-like way. "Worry is consuming your brain as you think about the First Task, yes?"

"N-not really…" Harry answered.

"Hush, Potter," Lucius snapped. "I now something that could help you very much… if you have the money to afford it… Which I'm sure you do."

"I'm not sure if -" Harry started to say.

"Good! Step into my office," Lucius said, motioning back towards the school. They walk into the school and into a nearby classroom. Once inside, Lucius tapped his cane on the floor twice. The classroom was turned into a comfortable looking sitting room.

"So… what exactly are you trying to sell me?" Harry asked.

"Do you really need to ask?" Lucius asked, taking off his hat. "I must tell you, though, that my prices are a bit high. One night with one of my best girls will be about thirty galleons."

Harry's eyes widened, "'Girls'? What are you? Some kind of pimp?" he asked.

"Well… yes," Lucius answered.

Harry quickly walked towards the door, "I'm gonna have to go."

"But I know you'd enjoy one of them! Or more! As long as you have the money, you can have as many as you want!" Lucius said.

"I don't… I don't think I like girls!" Harry said quickly, leaving the room.

"Potter's gay?" Lucius asked, confused. He put his hat back on and left the room. "Well… I'm sure Hogwarts has many more rich straight teen boys."