Unbound. Roxas x Namine oneshot
Title: Unbound
By: Chiharu-chan
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Pairing: Roxas x Naminé
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Her feelings were as clear as the charcoal markings on her sketchbook, yet she threw it all away for their happiness over hers. Weddings, white dresses, and possibly another chance at love for her? Roxas x Namin AU
Naminé and Kingdom Hearts are copyrighted to squarenix and Disney.
Something she lived by, more than anything, was time. Time could heal everything. Eventually, the dull marks on her sketchpad faded away, worn out by endless erasing. The single page that was torn out had been carefully folded, hidden in the last page of her sketchbook; a professing love letter she had no intentions of ever sending.
Yet, she found herself facing the same dilemma that continuously taunted her.
"Come on Naminé, help me out here." Selphie urged, pulling onto the blonde's arm. "You are a mean, mean person, Kairi, making us wear peach! See, Naminé agrees with me, right?"
The girl, in return, lightly patted the hand resting on her arm. "It's a nice and refreshing color."
Olette, always the peacemaker, smiled back. "Let it go, we can deal with wearing a simple color. I think it's pleasant on a dress." She turned around, eyeing Kairi –standing on the platform and being tended to with great care by the ladies in the bridal shop- "it's her wedding, there are worst things than peach colored brides maid dresses."
Selphie pouted promptly; it was an act she should've outgrown already, seeing that had turned twenty-three early that spring. "Come my wedding day, and I'll make you wear luster!"
Kairi laughed. "That is, if that day even comes."
"Hey!"
"Oh!" One of the women frowned, leaning back. "The zipper is stuck. It won't bulge."
"Here, let me help." Naminé stood up, pacing her way towards the bride-to-be as she kneeled down, examining the zipper. Placing her hand on the fabric, she tugged lightly on the article of clothing.
She didn't know what to feel, how to feel about her current predicament. She knew this day was to come, yet it had remained silent in the back of her mind for a good three years as she tended to college affairs. Then she received her invitation to Sora and Kairi's wedding in the mail. She didn't want to be a brides maid; she didn't want to come so close to the actual planning of the event. She silently pondered why she was so careless with her decisions.
But Kairi had done so much for her.
God, it wasn't fair. She didn't want to be here. Here, kneeing down and fixing Kairi's possible wedding dress was unreal. It was suffocating. The girl shook her head at her own selfishness, reminding herself that there wasn't anything else she wanted more in the world than for the wedding to be absolutely perfect. "It's fixed."
Olette leaned in, grinning. "You were always good with the details."
"Thank you, Naminé." Kairi smiled. "You're so talented."
The blonde shook her head. "It's nothing like that." She eyed her bag wearily for the sign that never came, sighing slightly.
"Hey." Selphie turned around, blinking. "I think your mobile phone is ringing!"
"Oh." The art major sighed a breath of relief. "I have to go. Finish up without me." She grabbed her coat and bag, heading towards the exit of the fitting room before pausing. "Call me if something new comes up, okay?"
Selphie gave her a thumb-up. "Never fear, I'll handle everything up to here! After all, I am a talented wedding planner and in charge of this whole thing."
Naminé smiled to herself, rushing out of the bridal shop. She scanned the new message on her cell phone as she crossed the streets, heading into the main plaza of the shopping center.
The fountain in the center of the plaza beamed gorgeous on the summer day as various couples settled around the main attraction. The girl smiled as she spotted her target, making her way towards the center. "Hi."
Roxas looked up from his phone as he leaned halfway against the edge of the fountain. He smiled at the girl, tucking his cell phone back into his jeans. "Hey yourself." He scanned the girl over.
She smiled. "You're as charming as always, Roxas." She paused. "Thanks for being my escort."
"Any time." The boy took a seat under the closest umbrella, gesturing for her to follow him. "Although I was kind of surprised by the chain of events. I just thought… They're so young to be married, don't you think?"
"Don't say that." Naminé shook her head. "They're in love."
"I guess that's reason enough." Roxas laughed. He scanned his surroundings indefinitely. "I haven't been back here in ages. Kind of amusing that they decided to hold their wedding in our home town, huh?"
"Your job must be challenging." She replied, smiling slightly as she waved for the waiter, ordering a cup of latté. "I haven't been back here myself in awhile."
"How's life been treating you?"
The art student looked up. "I've been commissioned for an art gallery in the city museum. It's a rewarding and recognizing job, but very tiring. I have to work on irregular schedules, and I'm afraid my inspiration has been dwindling lately."
Roxas grinned. "I'd love to see it."
The girl blinked slightly. "I-" It was the first time that one of her old friends had shown interest in her galleries. "I'll be sure to send you some type of flier when the time comes."
"Thanks."
The waiter returned with her order of latté and his water. There was a momentary paused between the two of them as they sipped onto the beverages. The sun was shining. If they hadn't been seated under the umbrella, she was sure that she would've been squinting to see. The summer here reminded her too much of those she had previous spent years before.
The girl blinked, turning around from rummaging through her bag. "Oh, thank you." She had continued to search for her book at the time. A moment passed between the two of them, and the girl turned around as she wondered about the silence. "Is there something wrong?" She froze at the sight of Roxas reading her letter. He glanced up, quickly fold the letter back. "Sorry… I didn't mean to… It just fell and I.." He stopped, frowning as his expression changed from that of shock to sadness. "Naminé, I'm sorry." "You read all of it?" Roxas rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "I read fast." "Oh." She sat down, biting her lip. The classroom was completely empty by now, and the image of the sun setting in the schoolyard could be seen through the windows. "Naminé." He spoke up quietly. "If you like him so much, why won't you say something?" "It's pointless." She shook her head, frowning at the hotness of tear gathering in the back of her eyes. "Something trivial like this would end up hurting them. Besides, I'm not anyone important. He already has Kairi." "Your feelings aren't trivial!" He argued. "Maybe not. But they would only complicate things. Please don't think of them anymore, Roxas. Please keep it a secret." The boy smiled slightly. "Oh Naminé, I'm sorry." As expected, Roxas didn't lie. She didn't expect him to offer fake sympathy. Anything of the sort would've just tore at her self confidence.. "Do you want a hug?" "Yes." She smiled. "I would really like that."
"Naminé? Your sketchbook fell off the desk." Roxas grinned as he bent down. He stopped as something fell out of the last page in the process of picking it up. It was a letter.
"Naminé?"
"Yes?"
"Are you-?"
She smiled, twirling her latte with a spoon. "Let's not ruin the mood by talking about that, Roxas."
"You're still in love with him, aren't you?" It wasn't an accusation of any sort. The statement itself lacked a tone of disgust, annoyance or anything else she had been expecting from him. "I'm sorry."
The blonde girl shook her head. "So am I. Have you always been so observant?"
"You don't have to be here if you don't want to." Roxas offered, unsure of where to start.
"You must be wondering why I'm so ignorant, right?" Naminé smiled slightly to herself. "Why, why, why? Why do I do these things to hurt myself? Why do I force myself to face these things when I know that I'm not ready to admit anything to myself? If I knew the answers to these questions…" she looked up. "I would be a lot less miserable."
"Don't say that."
She looked away. "Sorry to put you in this position. I don't want to discomfort you on something like this either."
"I-"
Her cell phone chose that time to start ringing, and the blonde artist silently thanked the heavens for it. She didn't bother picking it up before taking a stance from her chair. "I have to go. You don't mind, do you?" In the process, she refused to meet his glance.
"No."
"Thank you."
"Come on, you can do it!" Selphie cheered on. "Be a man, Tidus! Don't complain, just keep on trucking those decorations in! Oh, come on. Are you a girl? This is easy work! Where have you been hiding to slack off, you're even weaker than I remembered!"
"You're breaking my heart!" Tidus yelled from the other side of the church as he finally set another few vases of flower down. "I need a break!"
"No breaks!" Selphie declared, hands on hip. "I need everything to be perfect! How else will my reputation as a wedding planner hold up when my staff refuses to cooperate!" She turned around, scanning the church room. "And Riku! I know you're here somewhere, stop hiding! A truck of curtains awaits you!"
"She's not just breaking his heart." Axel remarked, entering with stacks of boxes in his arm. "She's breaking his back! And ours, too! That slave driver." His last comment was surprisingly softer than his previous ones; even Axel didn't want Selphie up his back.
None of the men bothered to point out the simple facts that one, Selphie wasn't paying any of them for these manual labors and two, she was already as disorganized as wedding planners come.
Roxas laughed, wordlessly hauling his own share of decorations into the church building. He paused at sighting Naminé with the group of girls crowed in front of the alter.
"This is something I'm only going to confide within this circle of brides maids." Selphie finally spoke up darkly. Naminé and Olette exchanged looks of amusement, but remained quiet nevertheless. "We have all these decorations, but I don't know how to put them up."
"The guys will put them up for you." Olette replied easily.
"No." Selphie grinned sleepily. "I meant that I don't know how to display the decorations. I tried, but the plan turned kinda… Eh, messy, but let's not talk about my lack of artistic values." She held up a piece of paper full of random doodles. "See? It doesn't work. Naminé, you're good with art, why don't you sketch something out?"
The blonde blinked slightly as a blank piece of paper and a pen was shoved toward her general direction. She idly accepted the paper, leaning onto the edge of the alter for support as she began sketching.
Nothing.
She grasped tighter onto the pen, moving her wrist in a smooth motion like always.
Nothing.
"That's odd." Olette mused, taking the pen away as she dabbed it on the back of her hand. "The pen has ink." She gave Selphie a confused look. "I don't know why it won't work on the paper."
"It's not the pen." Naminé spoke up slowly; uncharacteristically crisp enough to be heard by all of the occupants of the church. "Or the paper." She bit her lip. "I can't move my wrist…. I can't draw."
The church fell quiet.
"I can't move my hand."
Olette immediately frowned, grabbing the blonde girl by her wrist. "Naminé, you're shaking! Sit down!" She didn't understand. This never happened before; not even on the oddest of occasions. "Maybe you're just stressed out. Don't worry, alright?"
The blonde girl shook her head. "I don't want to be here." Her environment suddenly became hostile.
Roxas and Axel exchanged looks of confusion; even Tidus stopped from massaging his aching shoulder. Olette was cross between concern and confusion, and Selphie opened her mouth in a small "o" shape.
"You guys keep on working." Roxas spoke up, grinning with ease as he rubbed his arm while heading towards the girls. "I'll take Naminé outside; she just needs some fresh air." The girls looked unconvinced, but remained quiet as he helped the blonde up.
Naminé was even more silent as he led her out of the church grounds. She wordlessly followed the boy into his car, unsure of what he was planning. It wasn't until she sat in the passenger seat that she gave him a confused glance.
"I think you need to rest." Roxas spoke up, tapping the stirring wheel.
"Huh?"
He turned around, grinning slightly. "You're unbelievable thin and you have bags under your eyes."
She reached up, pausing. "I'm sorry. It must be unattractive for you to notice." Biting her lip –God, she needed to get rid of that habit-, she smiled slightly. "I just… I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Nothing is going right for me."
Roxas remained silent. "In reality, I want to help you, but I don't know how."
"Model for me."
He blinked, turning around in his seat to stare at her. In all of her petite figure, Naminé still managed to look determined. She gave him a reassuring smile. "Model for me. I want to make sure that I can still draw." It was all she really needed.
He nodded, not bothering to ask for me. He never did anyway. "Where are we going?"
"My apartment."
He turned his car keys, igniting the engine.
Naminé's apartment was a moderately long drive from the church. Roxas remained quiet throughout, occasionally glancing over at his passenger who, in turn, paid little attention to him. She only stared wordlessly out the window in silence. It was odd yet fitting for the two of them.
He couldn't help but notice the simple things about her: how she would take a deep breath before speaking, how she needed to hold onto his hand when stepping out of the car and how she would smile silently to herself while waiting in the elevator.
"Please sit down."
Roxas glanced around the room: sheer white walls and curtains. Even the furniture was of light shades of grey. He idly noticed the number of sketchpads stacked on the sides of the room, taking a seat on the stool in front of the window. "Do you have this prepared or something?"
The blonde girl paused from taking a seat behind her new sketchpad, holstered on the wooden rack. She peered over the rack, blushing visibly. "No, no, I was sketching the window yesterday, and I put the stool there to hold something."
He nodded, shifting a little in the seat, but otherwise remained impassive. He didn't mind the fact that she only focused on sketching, not bothering to offer him something to drink or eat. He supposed that things like that were diminutive for an artist.
"What was it?" He finally spoke up again a few minutes later.
Naminé differed a little from her position. "Excuse me?" She set her pencil down, keeping her eye on the sketch as opposed to the boy talking to her. Whether she was just toying with his head, Roxas didn't know.
"What was on this stool earlier?"
"Oh." She fell quiet. "It was a teddy bear."
For the first time in awhile, Roxas felt slightly dumfolded. He realized that he knew little about Naminé as it was, but she didn't strike him as someone who dwelled on stuffed animals. "Do you like them a lot?"
"Not really. They're nice, though."
"How so?"
She adverted her attention back onto the sketchpad, picking up the pencil as she glanced slightly towards his direction. "Stuffed animals keep me company. They're an interest target to draw, but every time I look at them, they seem to display a different kind of expression. It's almost the same as humans, unpredictable."
"They're toys."
"We're all toys, Roxas." She kept her sight on her sketchpad. "Every singe one of us. I suppose I'm being toyed with right now. It's not fair. I can't draw."
"What?"
"I still can't draw."
The boy stood up as he stepped behind her, scanning the content of the sketchpad. He paused, running a hand through his ruffled blonde hair. The picture, oddly, was of him, but it wasn't current. He easily recognized an image of himself from two –or was it three? Four?- years ago on paper.
But she had drawn it herself; he saw her.
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." Naminé repeated. "I can't draw."
Roxas blinked. "I don't understand."
"It's just that." She took another deep breath. "When I look at you, I see you. You're standing here, clear as day, yet…. I don't know." Her breath hitched, but he got the message. She could no longer draw anything in the present; she was still living in her past.
"I really don't want to go." She spoke up softly, grabbing weakly onto his hand. "I don't want to. I don't want to be reminded of how pathetic I am."
Roxas kneeled down, cupping her chin. He shouldn't take advantage of her like this, he knew. Yet, all he could think was of her white dress, her white curtains, her white walls, and this simple apartment. It was as if he suddenly realized how ghostly white her features were. All he could think of was how lonely she must have been, living in this white world by herself. "You're not pathetic."
"You must feel bad for me." Naminé replied, looking away. She wasn't completely dull; she could feel Roxas's butterfly kisses trailing down her cheeks.
She just didn't believe in it. Her. Roxas. Kisses. White curtains.
She woke up when sunlight beamed through her silk white curtains, illuminating the room calmly. She stirred slightly, pressing her face into warmth. She paused, blinking through thick eyelashes; she was never warm in the mornings. "Oh…"
"Eh, hi." Roxas smiled slightly down at her from the other side of the bed. "This is kind of…"
"You can leave if you want." Naminé sat up, wiping her sticky lashes with the back of her hand. Her voice was dull and somewhat dry, but he took no notice of that.
"No." Roxas ran a hand through his hair. "I wouldn't do that."
She looked up at him, light blonde hair brushes against her face and thin bed sheets covering her fragile figure, in a look of confusion. "I have nothing to offer you."
He wasn't quite sure what possessed him to be so entangled with the girl. She was so easily breakable; maybe, in some part of his mind, all he wanted to do was to protect that. Maybe it was that sense of unwilling protectiveness he suddenly felt towards her; he didn't know. "I know, but I have a lot to offer you."
"It's not the same." Naminé replied.
"Because I'm not Sora?"
Her eyes shook, and her arm reached up trail down his neck. "I don't think it's because of that. You're not the same." She knew it was true, because she insisted. She had constantly reminded herself that her only attraction towards Roxas was his similarity to Sora. "He's unattainable and you're within reach. I'm not… Don't try to help me, please."
"I don't think of this as a mistake."
"I do."
"You're lying."
She smiled weakly. "Why are you still here? Why aren't you leaving? Why aren't you gone already?"
The boy hesitated.
"You're indecisive." Naminé looked away, voice cracking. "You don't want me."
"Why do you assume things like this?" Roxas frowned. "We both know that I'm not going to declare my undying love towards you because it was never there." He paused. "I just… It's unfair for me to do this to you, and you're not just some random girl. You're my friend. You're Naminé, for god's sake."
"Untouchable. Lonely. Unlovable." She smiled. "That's me, right?"
"Stop it." He placed both hands on her shoulders, squeezing her arms a little too tight for comfort. "Stop saying that. Stop letting yourself down." He shook his head. "No one expect you to be perfect, just go back to normal. Just be Naminé. Stop living in the past."
Her eyelashes fluttered as she looked down at the bed, hands clutched tight onto the bed sheets. "The past is all I have."
"You have friends." Roxas declared. "You have Kairi, Selphie, Olette, and Sora. And you have me. I'll protect you, okay!" It was the only thing he had meant to say, and he hated how he had to spat it at her. He hated how she fell completely silent.
"If you want me to leave." He sighed. "I'll go, and I'll never mention this again. I'll never look at you or touch you again."
"Stay." She didn't know what possessed her to blurt such a thing out. She didn't even know if she actually felt this way. Her head was racing and her heart was dying. She wanted someone to keep her company. She was like a broken doll, waiting for someone to fix her. She choked back the tears. "St-Stay."
She knew. She knew he could fix her.
"That's beautiful!" One of the junior bridesmaids gushed as she tore the page out of the sketchbook, offering it the girl. "Can I really keep it?"
"For another inspired artist." The blonde smiled, watching as the young girl ran off.
"You're smiling again." A soft voice spoke up, and Naminé turned to see Kairi standing behind her. The redhead gave her a light grin, shrugging slightly. "I'm glad." She took a breath at the scenery. "I really am."
"I never thanked you for inviting me here." Naminé spoke up slowly, feeling that lightness from her heart tugging at the end of her lips. "I'm glad, too."
"Roxas has always been a sweetie, hasn't he?" The bride-to-be replied, tugging on the end of her skirt. "I just didn't expect the two of you… Either way, it's a refreshing change, and I'm glad that he's there for you." There was a yell from the crowd, and the redhead turned to the source of the voice. "Sorry, I need to go."
The blonde watched as Kairi dashed away.
"This hill's pretty nice."
Naminé turned around, smiling. "It has a great view of the church and chapel. I want to sketch something out to keep this memory fresh." She looked up at the boy, feeling foolishly happy.
"You're drawing again." He leaned down, passing a soft kiss on her forehead. "That's great. Still, don't stress yourself too much. There's already a modern invention called a camera, no need to sketch everything out."
"I want to."
Roxas brushed Naminé's bangs aside, smiling pleasantly before he turned around. "I need to head back. You know, wedding rehearsal and all. You should come in soon, too."
She dusted her simple white dress off, setting her sketchpad aside as the boy offered her a hand. He accepted it with gratitude, pulling herself to her feet. "Thank you."
He grinned.
"No." She smiled. "For everything."
There was a slight paused. "You're very welcome."
Random Talk
Eh.. Where to begin. This is the fic that will not die. I couldn't stop writing it, not even for sleep. I suppose my Naminé muse was either just too strong, or that Roxas was too adorable. This was originally supposed to be a lot shorter, and mainly a small Naminé centric-ed drabble-ish.. thing. Then it turned into this, and I turned into the girl who only had 3 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours. Fun, huh?
Typos, yes, I know. I have English issues, so I know that you see them, but unfortunately I don't Dx It doesn't process in my mind, I guess. So if you see somethign wrong, feel free to point it out I'll edit them as soon as I can.
Read and Review, please?