Title: Group Hug
Group: Roy Mustang and his subordinates, a 20 facts challenge
Rating: PG
Note: The reference to Barry the Chopper is from a manga situation that was not in the anime.
Disclaimer: I'd like to note that this is a challange from an FMA community. To my knowledge, none of these facts are true.

I. Riza is the only thing Roy thinks is hotter than his alchemy.

II. Unfortunately, Riza is also the only thing that can burn Roy more than his alchemy.

III. To make it clear that he did not appreciate using his vacation time to baby-sit Barry the Chopper, Falman pulled a prank on Roy by playing hide-and-go-seek in side the armor. Unfortunately, Roy did not realize they were playing this game.

IV. To make it clear that he did not appreciate the prank, Roy insisted that Barry the Chopper be lined with poison ivy.

V. Falman was covered in pink goo for a week.

VI. On occasion, when Havoc forgot to bring his lighter, Roy would be kind enough to light his cigarette.

VII. However, this courtesy soon ended when Breda made continuous jokes of endearment such as "You light up my life" and sang Common Baby Light My Fire every time Roy and Havoc entered the same room.

VIII. Of all Roy's subordinates, the one who's worst with a gun is a very self-conscious Fuery. Fuery was not able to live down the day he "mistook" Black Hayate as a target and still managed to miss.

IX. The real reason Havoc never dated Armstrong's sister was the fear that Armstrong's premature balding was due to male Pattern Baldness that had been passed down from generation to generation in the Armstrong family.

X. In order to exact revenge for the poison ivy in Barry the Chopper's suit of armor, Falman spilled coffee on Roy's gloves and promised to take them to the dry cleaners, seeing as he was the one at fault. Falman than proceeded to douse them in alcohol. Roy was in a rather heated situation the next time he used his gloves.

XI. Falman soon found out that the wrath of the Flame Alchemist constituted of polishing the boots of the entire military personal including Al's entire body and giving Back Hayate a bubble bath.

XII. The only thing that truly scares Roy is the thought of never being able to issue the mini-skirt policy.

XIII. The only thing that truly scares Riza is the thought of Roy issuing the mini-skirt policy.

XIV. Breda once had a pet parakeet that he named Fuhrer Joe. This soon ended once Roy decided that he no longer wished to listen to Fuhrer Joe issue out orders.

XV. Roy had poultry for dinner that night.

XVI. Fuery has always had a bad relationship with Black Hayate. While most assume this stems from him thinking the dog was a target, the root of their poor relations runs much deeper. When Black Hayate was just a pup, Riza asked Fuery to puppy-sit. Black Hayate decided playing dead would be a great way to pass the time. This, of course, ensued total and utter chaos as Fuery reflected on all the possible ways Riza could torment him for her puppy's death.

XVII. Consequently, no one has been willing to puppy-sit Black Hayate since.

XVIII. Everyone strongly assumes Roy and Riza are dating. The only reason why they probably are not dating is because of their equally strong desire to prove everyone wrong.

XIX. Either that or because of the day in which Roy tried to convince Riza that the new standard military issued swimsuit for women was a bikini.

XX. While Roy pretends to hate all the stupid pranks his subordinates pull on him, he actually appreciates it. That's just what makes them family.