I'm Positive

Chapter 9

Sara's hand shook as she dug into her purse. Damn lighter. She finally found it and lit her cigarette. Taking a long drag, she found a park bench, feeling suddenly dizzy. Its too damn cold. She leaned back against the bench and closed her eyes, breathing slowly. She heard shuffling feet walking hesitantly by and stopping. She looked up. Dammit. It was Mark. She took another drag and looked at him, staring expectantly. He rubbed the back of his neck in that sheepish sort of way she had loved so well. That she still loved.

"So… um… what's your favorite color?" he asked. Sara let out a choked little sob and looked down. "Hey. Could you, uh, come back to the loft? I think we have some things to talk about."

"Depends," she replied in a strained voice. He sighed and turned to go. "Do you have heat?" she called. He turned back and she could see an "almost smile".

"Depends. Is our illegal wood burning stove good?" she tried to smile, but was sure she looked like she was grimacing.

X

Mark held out his hand to help her up, and felt the familiar jolt of electricity through her fingerless gloves and their eyes met.

The person that looked back at him was a hollow shell of the old Sara. Her skin was sallow and had a grayish tinge to it. Her cheekbones were thrown into sharp relief. She was too skinny. Her hair was limply pulled back and had lost its bounce and luminescence. Her eyes were fever-bright and pleading at him, "Don't hurt me again". They walked back down the familiar streets and Mark was once more searching desperately for something to say. As always, in uncomfortable positions, his mouth went faster than his brain.

"Mimi hears you've been using again. Is it true?"

"Mimi shouldn't believe the rumors a hormonal Maureen spreads around," Sara said icily. A short laugh escaped him and the corners of Sara's mouth turned up involuntarily. And there they were. At the place that had felt like home for both of them just a month ago. Mark heard another dry sob escape her, and his heart went out to her, longing to comfort her as he had done in the past. They walked up and found Mimi, Roger, and Collins sitting on the couch. They looked up and saw Mark and Sara together. Mimi's eyes became alert and she stood up.

"Come here, Collins, I need you to help me with… um… fixing my radio. And Roger, I want some coffee. Get me some." The two men looked confused, but with a look from Mimi, a look of recognition crossed their faces and they said.

"Oh!" in unison. When they were gone, Mark and Sara sat where the three had just vacated. They sat in silence once more. Sara was playing with her fingernails, and Mark was picking at a stray thread on a throw pillow. He could hear Mimi in the back of his mind, nagging, Say it! Just tell her you still love her!

"I – " he began, stammering. "I – um… I just brought you over to – to – I brought you over to – " Sara gave him an encouraging look, giving him confidence. "I just wanted to tell you – I still love you." Sara's eyes widened and she stood up quickly, steadying herself on the back of the sofa. She nervously chewed on her fingernails and stared out the window.

"But, I killed you. And I thought you couldn't face this with the one who did it."

"I know," Mark answered quickly. "I know what I said. I just – just – " He sighed and put his head in his hands. A soft warm hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Sara's soulful eyes staring pitifully at him.

"Mark, life began when I saw your face. You make me so completely happy! I would do anything to have what we had back. I love you, with everything I have." She knelt in front of him, clasping his hands to hers and pressing them to her cheek, hot tears spilling over on to his fingers. "But," she said shakily, "How long are you willing to stay in love?" He knelt with her, kissing her fingers tenderly.

"Is forever enough? 'Cause I'm never ever giving you up again."

"I am so sorry," she answered, her voice filled with emotion. "Are you sure you still want this? You want us?"

"I'm positive." The two laughed at the irony and embraced warmly.

"Take your AZT," Roger murmured softly.

X

a/n: The end! I loves the ending. I hope you do too! And, guess what? This is your last chance to review! So, if you want to make me "Squeee!" then you'll review! And then I'll love you!