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Chapter 6
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She stretched and yawned as she awoke from a restless night's sleep. Riza hadn't woken up much during the night, not that she could remember that is. But she had thrashed about last night, which had resulted in half of her covers landing on the floor in a haphazard lump.
It seemed a shame for her to already be awake at this time. Normally she would get up around this time to head in to work. But today it was not the case today it was her day off. What a waste, she could have slept in for a change.
Riza looked forward to having the day to herself for a change. She still had a lot of boxes lying around her apartment and the place was in serious need of some organizing.
She went about the task she had set in front of her. Moving this box here, unpacking that box there. She spent her time dusting, moping, whatever needed to be done. It wasn't like her to let her place look so messy. The long term neglect had been the result of all that had happened in the past few months.
Riza picked up a heavy box of books and brought it over to her kitchen table. She maneuvered the flaps and opened the top to reveal dozens of novels and different types of reference books. Some were even of alchemy, mementos of her late father, the alchemist.
Sifting through the books she sorted them out into piles and readied them for their new home on the seemingly forgotten bookcase. Reaching back into the box she pulled out a pale lavender book with a like colored ribbon tying it shut.
Riza's hand ran across the tattered cover of the diary. The diary's cloth cover was slightly scuffed and faded with age. But the memories inside still showed brightly. Undoing the ribbon, she opened the book and let the pages flutter. When she noticed the entry on the open page she couldn't help but smile.
August 21st
Father started teaching alchemy to a new apprentice today. He seems like a really nice boy and he's cute too. He was a real gentleman when I answered the door. I was quite surprised. I wasn't even aware that father was going to take in an apprentice.
I don't really know him very well, but I have to admit there is something about him. My heart skips a beat when I think of him. I can tell he has a very kind heart. He believes that alchemy should be used for the good of the people.
There must be something special about him. Otherwise father would not have agreed to teach him alchemy. I have to admit there is very little I know about Roy Mustang. I would really like to change that.
Turning the page with a smile, Riza continued to read the lines of her written memories.
August 28th
I went out to grandfather's ranch for some target practice today. He tells me that my shooting is better than any man's in the Amestris army. I wonder if that is really true.
When I returned to the house I found Roy studying alchemy again with father. He has been over every day this week. He borrows books by the armloads and is very enthusiastic about it.
I don't know why I find him so fascinating. He seems the type to be popular with the ladies. I can't picture that as my type at all. But maybe I am wrong. Who knows? Obviously he does... Maybe I need to talk to him a little more.
September 2ndI have decided it is a good thing I have an interest in Roy. He's starting to spend so much time here I think he's moved in. He had dinner with us last night at my father's insistence. This morning he was already working in father's study when I woke up. I think he spent the whole night in there honestly.
Maybe I should bring him some tea and cookies.
September 2nd- Second Entry
Ok, tea and cookies was a great idea! Father stepped out to run some errands around town so Roy was studying alone. He was very happy with the tea and cookies. He also thanked me again for dinner last night. He said he really liked my cooking.
I'm really happy.
We had a chance to have a nice talk too. I found out he is pretty popular with the ladies but hasn't had much interest. He says he's been too busy studying to care. He's been studying alchemy for a while but has had trouble without a teacher. Before alchemy he says he also studied politics.
But deep down I really think there is a ladies man in there. He was surprised that I am into target shooting. He said he would never expect such a thing from such a pretty young lady.
I think I am still blushing.
Riza couldn't help but smile at what now seemed like the childish ramblings of a young teenage girl in love. She had forgotten how simple life had been at one time. Days that she had once taken for granted she now wished she could relive.
Forgetting that not all memories from that time were happy ones she skimmed several pages and found something she wished to forget.
October 14th
Father had another spell today. The doctor says he should be all right with a little bed rest. He said it would be all right for him to go back to his daily routines tomorrow.
I think he scared poor Roy half to death. Father hides his illness well. Roy did not even realize that father was ill. He was very concerned and hung around until after the doctor left. He even brought father's dinner to him.
I am getting really concerned. I have tried not to dwell on it too much in the past, but I can't deny the fact that these spells are getting more frequent. This is the first time Roy has been here for one though. Usually father is able to suppress them or so I have assumed.
Riza had wished to forget her father had been so ill. Although he was never one to talk about himself she had always imagined it was quite painful. It horrified her every time she saw him cough up blood like that. Although he was strong for her when she needed him she always assumed it was hard on Roy as well.
Her father had become like a second father to Roy. Roy looked up to and admired her father more than anyone else, he had once told her. At the time she could only think of her own despair. She never really though about how Roy had felt. He had been the last one to speak to her father. He was there when he began to cough up blood and then slumped over his desk unconscious.
Over time Roy had become the most important person in her life. It all started before her father's death. But after that fact it had become even stronger.
Flipping past several pages of entries she let her eyes settle on another page.
January 23rdI just can't believe what a silly girl in love I have become. I overheard Roy talking to father about someone called Maes today. It sounded like he was really close to this person. From the sounds of the name I thought Maes was a girl.
Father tells me that Maes is a boy. He's Roy's best friend from childhood. I was surprised that they weren't studying alchemy together. Father says Roy couldn't get him interested in it. Maes has been studying law enforcement so they haven't seen each other for a while. I guess that's part of growing up. But I don't have any friends to be separated from. I guess in some ways I'm lucky.
January 25th
I just found out today that Roy is leaving soon to join the military! My father is upset with his decision and so am I! I can't believe he decided to go through with it. Father has warned him that the military is not what it all seems.
Damn Roy and his kind heart! He wants more than anything to help people and protect them. He sees the military as the ultimate way to do that. They really talk a pretty speech, but is it really all that shinny and pretty?
There have been conflicts on our Eastern and Western boarders lately. There have also been rumors that a civil war with Ishval is imminent. What would happen to people like Roy if that's true? Are they going to fight?
I can't see Roy shooting people. He's too nice. I just can't see it. Or worse yet, what if he takes the test for State Alchemist? He could be used as a human weapon! I don't want that! I wish there was something I could do to protect him.
Please don't go Roy. Don't join the military! Even grandfather says there is a lot in the military that is evil.
January 27th
Well, Roy is gone. He finished his last day of apprenticeship with father today. He told me he was going to miss my cooking and he ruffled my hair like I was some kid.
Is that how he sees me? I am thoroughly depressed now.
The next several pages were even more depressing as Riza read the passages of worry and regret. She worried about the condition of her father who grew more ill as time passed, despite the fact that he had become a man she feared. She also worried about what fate would befall Roy. The young man who she fully admitted was her first love.
She stopped to more thoughtfully examine one of the entries before her.
February 7thToday father told me he was sure that Roy would some day return to us. He really wanted to teach him all the secrets of his alchemy. But father as well as I, knows that will never happen.
Father's time on this world grows shorter by the day. How much longer he has, no one, not even he knows. He instructed me to share the secrets of his alchemy with Roy if I felt him worthy. If he will use the power in the correct way I am to let him have all of it.
I just hope that I can make the right decision. Love can cloud a person's judgment.
March 19th
I can't believe it. My heart almost stopped beating. I just looked out the window and I saw Roy coming up to the front door. I can't believe I ran to my room like a scared child.
By the time I reached my room I heard the front door close. He has just come up the stairs and entered father's study.
I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish I was the first person he had wanted to see. But I guess I might have got that wish if I hadn't run away and hid.
I'm going to go to the study now. Hopefully I won't run away this time.
March 23rd
I haven't had the desire to write these past few days. Just a moment after my last entry my life as it was had ended. I spent a lot of time wallowing in despair. Although father had become someone I no longer knew I just don't know what to do now that he is gone.
Roy has been with me this whole time. He saw me through the day father died. He snapped me out of my misery after the funeral. It was still a couple more days after that before I could really get myself together though. Today is the first day I felt like life would really go on.
April 5th
It's been two weeks since father's funeral. Tonight after dinner Roy told me he is going to go back to his dorm at Eastern Headquarters. He's getting ready to take the alchemy exam soon. I don't want him to worry about me so I have put in extra effort at being "normal". That is, not being depressed.
He isn't sure if he is good enough to pass the exam yet. I want to help him, but I haven't made my decision yet. I need to do it soon. The test is just over three weeks away.
April 7th
I have been giving it more thought. I really should show Roy the secrets of father's research. I have to admit I am a little nervous though. I can't help but think that if I was going to show him my body it would be for a different reason.
I shouldn't delude myself though. At sixteen years of age I am more tomboy than I am feminine. I am sure Roy's interest in my body will be limited to the sigil. He is after all two years older than I am. I'm sure I would be the last woman on his mind like that. I get the sinking feeling I'm like a little sister to him.
April 23
Roy is taking the State Alchemist's exam today. I wish him luck, I know it means a lot to him. I am positive he is going to make it. But that is really what I am afraid of. As much as I want him to succeed I almost want him to fail. If he becomes a State Alchemist bad things are going to happen to him.
April 26
Roy stopped by tonight to tell me his good news. The results for the State Alchemist's exam were announced today. He passed with flying colors. He said the Fuhrer himself congratulated him and told him he expected great things from him
Roy is the youngest person to pass the State Alchemist's exam to date. That also means he is the youngest person in the Amestris military to hold the rank of Major. The eyes of Amestris are on him. Please God, watch over him and keep him safe.
Riza sighed as she placed the book on her kitchen table. There was still a lot of work to be done around the apartment. She doubted she would get it all done today but she wanted to try.
After unpacking another three boxes Riza decided it was time for a lunch break. She prepared a simple soup for her meal and sat down at her table where she resumed reading her old diary.
Skimming through several more pages she finally reached the end of the book.
October 15Grandfather tells me that there is a plan to use the State Alchemists in the final stages of the war. This is likely to happen around the middle of next year. It all depends on what happens on the front lines and the status of the current roster of State Alchemists.
If I move quickly I can make it in time. I am going to Eastern Headquarters tomorrow to sign up. Grandfather tells me he might be able to get me assigned to the same company that the State Alchemists will be in.
Roy, I promise I will protect you.
October 16
Its official, I report to Headquarters tomorrow morning at 0600 hours where I will join the other new recruits. After our orientation we are to travel by bus to the military school and training grounds where we will would normally train for one year.
I have been told it is likely we will be shipped off to complete our training with hands on experience in the Ishval war.
This entry will be my last entry and marks the end of my youth.
With a sigh and a heave of her shoulders Riza closed the book and moved to the bookshelf where she placed it with the others. That all seemed like another life by now and she could never have known how true her final words were. It really had marked the end of her youth. So much had happened since that time.
Things had not always gone the way she had planned but here she was, four years later. She was still holding true to her vow to protect this man with her life. But Roy himself had added something to this vow she had made. Without allowing her to answer he charged her with the duty of shooting him herself if he should step off of his intended path and become corrupt like the rest of them.
It was a duty she unwillingly accepted, but accepted all the same. If that time were to come she would not hesitate to pull the trigger and end it all. Not just for him, but for her own self as well, for she was also responsible for what he had become.
Even in death she vowed not to part with him, she would always be right there following him all the way.
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Author's Notes: I want to thank C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, Rei Sabere,, winglessfairy25, jacksparrow589, Melinda-chan, OTP, LiLanimeGirl101, and LexyGirl89 for their reviews of chapter 5.
I am really excited about the next chapter and I have to say I really surprised myself with where it went. If this fic isn't rated M already I think I will have to change the rating. If anyone is good at beta reading and is interested I would like to get a second opinion before I post it. Anyone interested please send me a PM or let me know in your review and I will PM you.
Thanks for reading, please leave a review! The next chapter will be posted fairly soon, likely before Christmas if I find a beta reader. Take care everyone!