Disclaimer: Don't own Pern/dragons. Anne.
A/Ns: Hello. Hey, I updated. Aren't you proud? Anyway, I don't actually have much to say this time. Just, if you would, I'd love it if you'd take the time to review.
"So…"
Lia was lounging in an uncomfortable chair in the Kitchens. All around was heavy, food-scented air. It was rather lulling, and Lia's eyes were half-lidded as she looked around, watching the women bustle around to prepare dinner. Ravara had just slid into a seat across the table from the female bronzerider. Her eyes were shrewd. Lia lazily looked at her. "Hmm?"
"Have you thought about Madeth?"
Lia disgustedly narrowed her eyes. "No, Ravara," she said sarcastically. "I haven't thought about my dragon."
"Don't be that way," Ravara sighed. "'Sides, have you thought about him mating?"
Lia froze.
"Wh-Huh?" she managed to stammer. Her mind began to spin.
"Well, you know," Ravara said, shrugging. She slowly traced the patterns that the wood of the table had. Her brown hair fell forward into her face, light eyes following her fingertips' movement. "Bronzes catch queens. Queenriders are females. Madeth is a bronze." Ravara had an unequaled talent for pointing out the obvious. But, for once, this obvious had never occurred to Lia.
Lia's stomach twisted. She felt her hands curl into fists from her inner turmoil. She took a deep, calming breath. Logically. She had to look at this calmly… and… logically…
Madeth is a bronze. He's gonna want the best he can get. That would be a queen, Lia said slowly in her head. I… don't want a queenrider's weyrmate. A jolt went through her guts. That could make me a WEYRLEADER She forced herself to clear her mind. Breathe. If you don't want it to happen, don't let it. Queenriders can control their dragons at mating time. I'll just have to control Madeth. Yes, that's it.
Lia inhaled deeply. She lifted her head to look at Ravara, her eyes deceptively clear and calm.
"OK then."
Ravara cocked an eyebrow. "Got it all figured out, then, have you?"
"Not at all," Lia said brightly. She stood up, every muscle in her body tense and practically vibrating.
It was just everything. Everything was piling up, every little thing stretched her that much further. First her Impression had changed her soul, and while she was in that delicate state, she had discovered that she was pretty much destined to be treated like dirt. And now this? She liked men, not women. Men… including Madeth, she thought wryly.
Of course you like me, came the sleepy thought of her month-old dragon. Why would you not?
Nothing, Lia said absently. She was vaguely aware that she was leaving the kitchen.
You're upset, Madeth decided. She could see him by the Lake, uncurling and getting to his feet. His brothers and sisters around him were stirring, roused by him. Why are you upset? Is something wrong?
Lia finally got to him, and stroked his bronze head. Hot tears were in her eyes, but she blinked hard. Finally, she burst out, "EVERYTHING is wrong!"
Madeth was now very concerned. Tell me. What?
Lia bit her lip. She sat in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and, tears slipping quietly down her face, she mentally explained everything to him, with absolutely zero confidence that he would get it.
Sure enough…
I don't understand, Madeth said, nudging her with his warm nose. His heavy tail flicked anxiously, and Lia opened her eyes to see him looking puzzled. It would've been cute under other circumstances. I love you. I chose you. All the others were chosen by theirs. Why should they begrudge you the right to me?
Lia heaved a sigh, roughly wiping her tears away. "Dunno, Madeth," she said heavily. She'd actually tried to explain this to him many times, but he had the famous atrocious dragon-memory and comprehension.
Lia decided to look at the situation from behind his eyes.
To dragons, everything was simple. It was oh-I'm-hungry-I'd-better-eat, or oh-I-itch-better-ask-for-oil, or oh-I'm-tired-better-nap. A dragon was a dragon, and he (or she) needed a lifemate. That dragon chose that lifemate and loved him (or her) forever. Nothing was complicated, nor did it need to be. In fact, Lia was clearly disturbing him greatly to be so worked up over the plain fact that he'd chosen her.
She soothingly stroked his trembling wings, rubbing his jaw with her other hand. "Sh-h-h," she said softly. Sometimes, just for your dragon's sake, you couldn't let your emotions get out of hand. She didn't want to hide anything from Madeth, but she hated seeing him so upset.
"Lia!" called a familiar voice.
The female bronzerider spun around, snarling, "What?"
L'gor first shrank back at her wrath, then straightened, his eyes snapping. "Well, sor-ry for trying to apologize!" he said angrily. "What did I ever do to you?"
He was trying to apologize? Lia blinked guiltily. "Um…" she said stupidly.
"Yeah," her half-brother said, heaving himself down to sit next to her. She usually sat more or less by herself at the end of the table the weyrlings sat at. "Look… I'm… um… sorry I said that stuff to you. See… well, it's not like I'm jealous you got Madeth or anything. I would never, ever, ever change anything about my Allorth, never," he said adamantly, clearly bent on making sure there was no doubt left in her mind. "Sorry if I kinda came across like that. I mean, I dunno why I was so upset. Just 'cos Madeth chose you. I dunno what I'd do if everyone started treatin' me bad 'cos of Allorth." He bit his lip just thinking about it. "So… I just thought I'd offer, you know, if you… ever want some company or somethin' during practices," he said awkwardly.
Lia felt shame twist her stomach. He felt bad that she was a loner during weyrling training, and was taking pity on her, offering to hang around with her. That was just… sad.
"What about Minara?" asked L'gor, cocking his head at his half-sister. "You're both… I mean, she's a girl, too."
Lia cast a disgusted glance over at Pinith's rider, who was flirting shamelessly with F'sild, bronze Nalgith's rider. "Her? She could do with less air between her ears and more thought," Lia snorted.
L'gor lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug, his cautious brown eyes sliding away. "She ain't too bad, y'know," he said softly. Lia raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, she is," she said.
Another half-shrug from her half-brother. "Mn."
Lia, realizing that he liked Minara in some way or another, decided not to comment any more, for fear of alienating her half-brother, who she'd only just reconciled with. So she carefully steered the conversation away from the topic of the queenrider.
"How's Allorth doing?" she asked. Riders were always delighted to talk about their dragons, and L'gor was no exception.
"Oh, he's doin' great," said L'gor enthusiastically. "It's wonderful, isn't it? It's like he's kinda…" he gestured indistinctly and unhelpfully with his arm. "Kinda… another half of me. It's like he's thinking my thoughts with me… if that makes any sense."
"Oh, it was a statement fit for a harper," Lia said wryly.
"Hush," L'gor said, shoving her playfully.
"Hey," said another voice. Lia and L'gor looked up to see that S'toiz had slid down and was looking at them with his calm brown eyes. "What're you doing?"
"She's insulting me," L'gor said, jabbing an accusing finger at Lia.
"I was doing no such thing!" Lia said, pretending to be deeply wounded, clapping a hand to her heart. She gave S'toiz an appealing look. "How could I insult anybody?"
"Very easily, I'm guessing," S'toiz said, grinning. His warm smile was infectious. Both L'gor and Lia couldn't help but join in.