Here it is at last: the fic that all my fans despised me for creating. I've been neglecting every other story that I have running right now in order to finish this delectable Naruto yaoi in as short a time as possible. I got the idea for it while talking to a friend of mine who is leaving for college in two months. She liked the concept of 'habitual infatuation' (which will be explained) so much that she suggested I write a fic around it as her graduation present. So, we quickly started work on an outline for the plot, got it finished at roughly ten chapters, and set the deadline. I had to write this story for her before she graduated in May. .:wipes brow:. Here we go.

Disclaimer: This fic is dedicated to my wonderful friend, Sora-chan. I haven't known you for as long as I'd have liked, but the fact that I'm writing yaoi for you is evidence enough of how much I love you. Even if we lose contact once you move on to the next step in your life, this story will always be here to remind me of a great friend.

Naruto is the property of its respective owner and is certainly not my creation.

Warning: This story is yaoi and contains adult themes and homoerotica. Don't like, don't read. Also, it's meant to be more amusing than it is anything else. Be on the lookout for bad attempts at humor XD.

…

A pair of startling sapphire eyes narrowed into a death glare as they settled on a nearby figure. Blonde hair—bright as sunshine—was rustled by a cool breeze and a tanned hand brushing back a few loose strands of gold. Uzumaki Naruto surveyed his opponent with careful deliberation, pouring every ounce of his concentration into figuring out his next move. His breath was coming in shallow gasps, and sweat beaded on his brow. The two shinobi had been sparring for nearly an hour now, and neither seemed to be making any progress towards winning.

Stupid teme is playing with me, Naruto observed as his eyes continued to watch the other boy like a hawk. Uchiha Sasuke was standing coolly across the clearing from him, still and silent. Naruto had been putting every ounce of strength into his attacks since the beginning of the match and was tiring quickly because of it. Sasuke, on the other hand, was yet to break a sweat. He doesn't even consider me a worthy opponent, Naruto ranted silently, rage boiling up within him. He thinks he can just play with me for hours on end and then toss me aside when he gets bored. I won't stand for it! I'm going to be the next Hokage, and I won't let anyone get in my way!

Naruto suddenly launched himself across the field, determined to knock that smug look from the other ninja's face. He threw his body heedlessly forward, blind determination propelling him into an all-out assault. A look of surprise came into Sasuke's dark eyes, as if he couldn't believe the other boy was trying something so blunt. Naruto took this as a good sign and pulled a fist back, preparing to smash it into his rival's pretty face.

Before he could execute his attack, his dark-haired opponent suddenly threw back his head and laughed…loudly. A moment later, Naruto found himself trapped in a headlock with Sasuke's warm breath at his ear.

"Dobe, what do you think you're doing?" Sasuke asked in a mocking tone from behind him. Naruto hadn't even seen him move. "A true shinobi does not throw himself recklessly into battle. We are taught to use stealth and patience to achieve our goals. You seem to lack the ability to use either. That is why you will never be a ninja, Naruto. You lack subtlety."

"Shut your fucking mouth, teme!" the blonde boy screeched as he wrenched himself from his rival's grasp. He hated being shown up by Sasuke more than anything else in the world. He especially hated it when the other boy did strange things like sneak up behind him and whisper slowly in his ear. It sent shivers down his spine in ways he couldn't explain. "You're going to pay for that, you bastard!"

Naruto was tempted to throw his strongest jutsu into the battle, but then he remembered the rules. This is simply a sparring match. Actual weapons can be used, but no chakra is to be utilized for attack purposes. Naruto grumbled and grabbed one of the kunai at his side, launching it as his rival's head with one smooth motion. Sasuke ducked easily out of the weapon's way, but he wasn't so quick to dodge the blow that Naruto threw at his head in the wake of his other attack.

"Gotcha!" Naruto cried as he felt his fist connect with something solid, but his victory was short-lived. A log appeared in the place that Sasuke had been in moments before, splintering under Naruto's attack.

"That's cheating!" the blonde cried in indignation when Sasuke appeared an instant later on the other side of the field. "We're not supposed to use our ninja arts! This is supposed to be a purely hand-to-hand match!"

"Correction, dobe," Sasuke retorted. "We're not supposed to use our chakra to attack. The Art of Substitution is a defensive maneuver and is therefore perfectly acceptable." Naruto let out an angry snarl. The dark-haired boy was right, but only technically. Naruto knew his opponent would have no problem using such tricks again in the future. He needed to figure out a trick of his own or Sasuke would hand him a humiliating defeat. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, and a grin spread across Naruto's face.

"Well, Sasuke-chan," Naruto replied in a nearly flirtatious tone, "if you need to use technicalities like that in order to have a chance against me, go right on ahead." Naruto batted his eyelashes as a look of utter disbelief came over the other ninja's face.

"S…Sasuke-chan?" Sasuke repeated, obviously dumbfounded by the sudden usage of this cutesy honorific. "Since when am I…Sasuke-chan?" A scowl slapped across his face. "And since when do I need to do anything special to defeat you! You're the most pathetic excuse for a ninja in existence!" Naruto bristled at the remark, but recovered quickly enough to resume his scheme. If he could just get Sasuke angry enough…or confused enough…he might be able to break through his guard.

"You don't need to do a lot of the things you do in battle, Sasuke-chan." Naruto took a prancing step forward, swinging his hips. "You don't need to pose the way you do when you know others are watching. You don't need to use all those fancy words and cool tones. You don't need to fix your hair in that way that you know all the local girls love. Yet you do anyway." Naruto was completely lying at this point. He knew for a fact Sasuke would never spend any amount of time preening for girls, but the reaction he got from the other boy was worth it.

"I DO WHAT!"

Naruto nearly flinched at the roar that came from Sasuke. He'd never seen the shinobi show so much emotion at once before. My plan must be working…that, or I'm about to get my ass kicked.

"That's not all," Naruto continued, going for the jugular. "Don't act like you're always grabbing me in battle because we're fighting! You do it because you like to!" The blonde wasn't really certain what he was saying now. It was something he'd heard some village boys tease each other about: the desire to touch other boys. They'd made one kid pretty angry when they'd accused him of such a thing, so Naruto figured it would work on Sasuke.

He pranced around in a circle a few more times—for dramatic effect—then threw a glance over his shoulder at Sasuke. What he saw made his jaw drop straight open in the most comical fashion. The Uchiha boy's hands were clenched so tightly into fists they were actually beginning to draw blood, which trickled to the ground at his feet. Sasuke's face had more color in it than Naruto had ever seen. It wasn't much, still, but the contrast was dramatic. "How dare you…" came the soft whisper from between Sasuke's full lips. His head snapped up suddenly, "I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!"

Naruto sprang quickly out of the way as Sasuke did the one thing no one would ever expect from him: he launched a heedless, thoughtless attack at his enemy. The boy with the fox spirit imprisoned inside him grinned. This was exactly what he'd been hoping for.

"Whassa matter, Sasuke-chan?" he taunted freely, dancing out of the way of the numerous blows his opponent sent after him. "Where's your cool head now? Where's your holier-than-thou attitude? Where are all your great ninja techniques?"

"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!" Sasuke emphasized each of these commands with a punch aimed right for Naruto's head.

Before the blonde could recover, Sasuke began his own verbal assault. "I don't know where you get off accusing me of posturing, dobe! You spend all your time running around like an idiot, telling anyone who will listen about your pathetic dream to be the next Hokage! You pose more in five minutes than I ever have in my life!" Sasuke stopped his ferocious punching for a split second, long enough to change to kicking. "And don't act like your hopeless crush on Sakura doesn't effect how you act in battle! You've gotten your ass handed to you more than once because you were too busy giving her moon eyes to see that you were being attacked!"

Naruto sent Sasuke a furious glare. He couldn't believe the other boy was bringing that up at a time like this! "Don't turn this around on me, teme! It's your fault for always acting like you're so much better than me! Why not turn off the superiority complex for a few minutes and see what it's like to be a normal human? Even a robot like you must have an 'off' switch!"

The two continued to bicker back and forth for several hours, oblivious to the bored stares they were receiving from the sidelines.

"Kakashi-sensei, are they just going to argue like that all day?" a pink-haired girl asked, looking up at the man who was training all three of them. The two had been standing at the edge of the clearing this entire time, watching and listening to the fight. Kakashi set down his book for a moment and gave Sakura with his familiar unreadable gaze.

"I'm not sure what those idiots think they're doing, but it's getting boring. Those two need to learn to keep their differences off the battlefield, or they'll never grow beyond their current level." His expression did not change as he passed such harsh judgment on his fledglings. "The only reason I even brought you three to this forest was to help you train away from the distractions of society. It's only us out here for miles and miles. This should be helping their concentration, not giving them a chance to scream freely at each other. It might be time we taught them a lesson."

Sakura cocked her head curiously. "What do you mean, sensei?"

Instead of answering, Kakashi about-faced and began to walk away, his nose planted back in the book he'd been reading earlier. Sakura stared after him in shock for a moment before recovering her senses and running after him. Neither of the two sparring ninjas noticed they'd been left behind, and they wouldn't for quite a while longer.

It wasn't until dusk had settled around them and they both lay panting and sweating in the middle of the clearing that Naruto finally looked to the sidelines. I bet Kakashi-sensei is proud of me for holding my own for this long. And Sakura must be so jealous that…

He trailed off as his blue eyes scanned the area that his teacher and other partner had been in the last time he'd checked. They were now nowhere in sight. Shock flooded through him as he realized what must have happened. He turned to Sasuke just in time to see the dark-haired boy pick himself off from the ground, obviously exhausted. "Sasuke-ch…I mean, teme, where's Kakashi-sensei?"

Sasuke froze at Naruto's question, and his eyes quickly darted over to the same area that Naruto had been examining a moment ago.

"Don't tell me…?" Sasuke trailed off as a look of horror came over his face.

The boys locked eyes with each other. A tense moment passed before they screamed in unison, "WE'RE STUCK HERE TOGETHER!"

To be continued…

I seem to be writing a lot of strangely smut-less chapters lately…Well, no worries, that will end by the next chapter. Consider yourselves warned. Of course, if I don't get reviews, I won't update at all. That's my policy XD. Here are links to my Livejournal and my forums. Both contain useful information:

Livejournal: http/ www . livejournal . com/users/hieiaijin1410/

Forums: http/ www . fanfiction . net/f/671396/

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