Authors Note: YO everybody! This fic is a sort-of continuation of the last chapter of my 'Water Logic' series which I feel like I've finished. That could be a lie though because Water Logic seems to operate all on its own. Well, s'all good. Enjoy.
Domesticity: Sabaku Goes to Work
by ImaSuperMuteAnt
Two weeks. Lee had been a father for two weeks and already he was beginning to think that it was going to drive him mad. The doctor had proclaimed Sabaku to be "about nine to twelve months old", meaning Lee would not have to spent any nights waking up at two am to feed the new addition to the family. At the same time, Lee found that he was run ragged trying to take care of her even when she did sleep through the night.
"It is crying again." Gaara did not help one bit.
Lee sighed. He knew that his boyfriend/lover/partner/Gaara-shaped-person loved Sabaku-chan very much. He could tell in the way that Gaara would sometimes kiss the top of her head when he though no one was looking, and the way stuffed animals seemed to mysteriously appear in her crib overnight. At the same time, he knew that Gaara was completely lost when it came to their child. His inability to do the simplest things, like changing diapers, and his habit of referring to her as an 'it' whenever he was confused were beginning to wear on Lee's already depleted nerves.
"She is crying." Lee said, barely suppressing his very unenthusiastic response, "and you are going to fix it."
Gaara gave Lee a look that could have been interpreted as many forms of "what?" but Lee merely turned his face away and began moving through his morning exercises. Lee was very happy to be a father, he was increasingly awed by the Flame of Youth and Exuberance held withing that small body. He was not, however, a housewife and he was not the only one in the relationship.
Gaara spent a few minutes looking at Lee as if he expected the leaf-nin to relent simply from the power of his stare. Usually people did. Usually Lee did. This was not usually, however, and Gaara soon found him self sulking across of the room (as only Gaara could sulk, without sound or expression or any indication of emotion at all except for the great waves of "I am not happy" pouring from his every movement). He lifted her carefully from the crib, looking her deeply in her red, scrunched up eyes.
"Stop crying." Gaara commanded. She ignored him, screaming even louder and with more of the exuberance that lee admired so much.
"... Please?" Gaara brought her in to his chest, sniffing daintily. He was pleased to find that she still smelled sweetly of baby-powder and mashed peas. At least he wouldn't have to suffer through that ordeal.
"Are you hungry?" He asked, verbalizing his question for the benefit of the child who couldn't be expected to know what he was thinking.
"She's not going to tell you what she needs!" Lee exclaimed at the hight of his eighty-second sit up.
"Is she hungry?" He asked Lee. Lee knew about babies. Lee was good at this. Lee was not Sabaku-no-Gaara, the demon of the sand and eater of babies (even if Gaara did not eat babies).
Lee gave Gaara a look from his sit ups and decided to give his boyfriend a break. At least the Kazekage was trying now...
"Most likely not. I fed her when I got up so she should be good for another few hours." He told Gaara patiently.
"Then what does she want?" Gaara demanded. The screaming was making him uncomfortable. And he didn't like it either. Lee remained silent, because Gaara needed to be able to take care of his daughter. He wouldn't say a word. He wouldn't say a word...
Gaara sent a glare at Lee's silence and then turned back to the baby. There a a momentary hesitation before he carefully cradled her against his chest and began rocking, allowing Sabaku to grab a chunk of his hair and bury her head behind his ear.
The crying stopped.
"Wonderful!" Lee proclaimed, jumping from his place on the floor, "A triumph of Care and Love! Good job Gaara!"
Lee walked to the door, giving his baby-toting lover a grin before he opened the door, "I'll see you at dinner! Good luck!"
With that, Lee Left. Gaara stood for a moment, unable to voice any argument. He looked down at the baby who was sleeping quietly in his arms and sighed. Gaara was expected to be in the office in little more than fifteen minutes, and Lee had left him with the baby. He heaved a sigh, hoping that Lee could hear his protest from all the way across the village where he was undoubtedly doing something Youthful and Vigorous.
Shifting Sabaku into one arm, Gaara grabbed the baby-bag and departed for the office. It wasn't his fault that Lee had decided to make it a Gaara-Sabaku bonding holiday. It wasn't his employees fault either. Gaara knew exactly who was going to suffer because of Lee's actions, and it wasn't him.
Gaara secretary didn't say a word as he rushed through the office almost a half an hour late with a baby in one arm and a bulging diaper bag in the other. He sat down at his desk and stared blankly at the piles of paperwork that loomed ahead of him. Sabaku released an almost sickeningly adorable cooing sound and pulled out a tuft of his hair.
Gaara placed Sabaku on the floor with a ball and a jingly ring thing that was almost as captivating for him as it was for her. He began his work, lifting the first form from the top of the pile and stamping it without looking.
Fifteen minutes later he changed her diaper, discovering that it really wasn't as bad as he expected. She was awfully cute...
Twenty minutes after that they broke for lunch. Gaara had veal and pasta, served by his ever faithful and terrified secretary. Sabaku had mashed bananas, mashed carrots, and mashed potatoes. Gaara wondered if you could mash veal. Three papers went to their recipients with heavy stains from liquefied vegetables and applesauce.
Five minutes after that Gaara gave up on papers. He was too busy singing the hamster song in funny voices.
At exactly two thirty pm Temari walks into the Kazekage's office. It is her daily ritual. She arrives at the same time every day, says hello to the nice secretary, and then engages her brother in conversation for exactly two and a half minutes before taking his completed paperwork and leaving the way she came. Temari liked her routine. It showed that there were no emergencies, no wars, no psychotic brothers out for blood. It made her feel safe.
Temari was, understandably, upset at the interruption of her routine when she entered her youngest brother's office only to find him on the floor rolling a ball back and forth between himself and a baby. There was no paperwork.
"Gaara." She said, quietly and calmly, it wasn't too long ago that her brother would kill on the slightest whim, "have you done any work today?"
"Hmmm?" he said, sounding so completely relaxed that she wondered if he had been replaced by pod clones when she wasn't looking. That Lee character had always been shady...
"Yes." He said, "Look at this..."
Her brother's attention turned to his daughter, and for a moment Temari saw the sort of devoted adoration so prevalent in new parents. It made her want to throw up a little.
"Do we like paperwork?" he asked Sabaku in his usual emotionless voice.
"No!" she proclaimed.
"Do we want to do paperwork?" He asked, focusing entirely on the small bundle of cuteness.
"No!" Sabaku cried again.
"And what happens when we don't have to do paperwork?" He asked.
Sabaku looked at him, her mouth splitting into a frighteningly familiar grin. Her eyes sparkled and she screeched in laughter before crying, "T'rumph!" as loudly as possible.
"I think Lee taught her that." Gaara said.
Temari blinked. Not only was the child already mirroring the habits of the infamous green-beast but Gaara was smiling at it. His lips stayed where they were but Temari, after years of seeing half-frowns and amused eye-brow-twitches, could see the grin in his eyes as clear as cellophane. It was almost more frightening than Rock Lee at his enthusiastic-ist.
"I'm going to go now." Temari said, "I'm... going to go now.
"No!"
Temari wondered if she would ever have a nice, normal day again.
PS. Authors Note: Well folks, here is the first installment of the Domesticity series. I'm feeling pretty good about it at the moment but that could change. The hamster song is not, I repeat not, the same as the hamster dance. I think most families have a hamster song. In my head, its the song 'blue moon' sung in a hamster voice. It could be something entirely different for you. The hamster song is a very versatile entity.
Once again, unedited and lonely. Send me reviews and I won't cry.