Disclaimer: I do not own FMA

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This may be a little OOC because I based part of it on an experience that happened to me a few nights ago. Enjoy!

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I do not understand. Why did he act like that? That is not like him. Even when he is drunk he has never tried anything like that. He really scared me. It was like someone else took over him. The way his eyes were glazed over, those dark eyes of his, scared me the most. He had his 'famous' smirk on his face. He is such a lecher.

I do not know why he would try anything with me especially when I sleep with a gun. Of course he does not know that.

He stayed with me two nights ago because of the storm. I still have nightmares of all the gunshots. It is funny how I depend on a gun to protect myself and him when I'm so frightened by them. A ninety-six percent shooting accuracy. I guess that happens when your grandfather is a general in the military. I really need to visit him sometime out East. All he does is play chess most of the time. I am glad the guys don't know. If they did, I would never hear the end of it.

I do not even think he knows. God! He is such a jerk! I love him though, and putting my gun up to his head to keep him from making moves on me.

I've shot quite a few times. There are actually bullet holes in the walls and in the ceiling. I know that is not very smart to shoot upwards. Who cares about hitting him. If I really wanted to, I could get him in one shot and he would be doubling over in pain. I'm too good of a shot, that is all. The guys know not to mess with me, and there is nothing they can do, drunk or sober, that could scare me.

Except him. We were too close, but I did not stop him. Was it that I wanted him to do that or that he needed to do that, and I sensed it. I want to protect him, but to do that, he has to be alive and not have his spirit broken. Then there is the fact that I kissed him back.

He forced me out of bed this morning. I did not go to sleep until five in the morning. I was finishing his paperwork. He's such a procrastinator and lazy. When I did go to bed, he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. His body was so warm even though the apartment was freezing.

He's caring and beautiful, arrogant and a leech, determined and ready, and persistent and lazy. Yet, I love him. Why do I love him? I am not allowed to love him, so why do I? I wish I could answer that question, but I can not.

I want to talk to him and feel his breath against my ear as he whispers to me. My dog always ruins the moment however. He comes up and keeps licking our faces or growling at him. I can not blame him. After all, he is just protecting his mommy, but he would never hurt me, and I am sure my dog knows that.

Maybe it is that I need him to love me. Is that it? Do I need to feel his touch? How does he make me feel this way even after yesterday. What he did scared me tremendously, but I do not care.

I am standing outside and my hair is blowing in the wind. It is chilly, but I do not care. When I am with him I become flustered. I become so hot that I open the window and just stand there in the breeze while he takes his shower.

He comes and stands behind me, all the while, moving his mouth to my neck and kissing it gracefully. It feels so good, and I want to give in to him, but my mind tells me no. I know that if I do we could both get into trouble.

He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his head into my neck, and I can feel his warm breath tingling my skin. I smile, my cheeks turning red from him being so close to me. He turns me to face him and cups my chin in his hand and lifts up my head to where I have to look him straight in the eye. "I love you," he says. Then his lips crush down on mine, and we share a long, passionate kiss. He pulls me even closer to him, a and I gasp. His tongue finds his way into my mouth. I close my eyes and enjoy the taste of the sweet chocolate I had given him to eat.

This feels so right. My mind is screaming at me telling me to back away, but my heart is telling me to go for it.

I push him down onto his back on the bed, and his eyes opened in shock, never once breaking the kiss. I climbed on top of him and laid my head on his chest. "I love you, too, Roy."

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Author's Notes: R&R Hope you liked it!